Wednesday, December 12, 2012

12-12-12 … WHAT A DAY


I decided to put Christmas decorations up today. Went to the shed and had to move all of Dan’s yard sale stuff to get to the Christmas stuff. Got several of the boxes out and carried them to the porch.  Got the huge Christmas tree box out of the shed and carried it into the house. I got all the branches out and thought how glad I was that I had put the branches back in the container in the order in which they went on the tree. I put all the branches in their little slots and looked at the results. Seemed like the tree looked shorter this year.

I forgot to put the dang extension rod in the bottom.

So I took stand off and inserted the rod.

Put tree stand back on the tree. Set the tree upright. Tree was wobbly. Took stand off, and duck taped the parts on it that are old and cracking. Put the stand back on and finished putting the tree together.

The tree tilted over.

Now I got two choices…I can either go buy a new tree or try to fix this one…I go get my rod and reel out of the closet and cut enough line off to tie the sucker to the window air-conditioner grill which is directly behind the tree. I go get the lights out of the box and plugged them in to test them. They worked! Put them on the tree….they quit working.

Took all the lights back off.

Took my pj’s off, put my clothes on and run up town. Bought two boxes of lights. Came home and put them on the tree. They worked! Put all the ornaments on the tree.

Tree tilted over.

Go back to my rod and reel and cut some more line off. Tied  that sucker to the other side of the conditioner.

Now, during all of this joyful Christmas decorating…Dan was in a mood. See, he gets depressed during Christmas…always has…and at his age, I reckon he always will…just another something I have learned to try to deal with.

But today, between the tree, the lights, the tilting of the tree, well lets just say, my patience was running on about empty.

I finished putting all the Christmas stuff out and got the flowers and tiny tree I needed to put on Danny’s grave. I go to the graveyard and talk to Danny a little bit (told him all my troubles lol)  Then I go see daddy and put flowers on his grave too…told him all my troubles too! lol  While there I cleaned both of their graves off and put the old floweres and trash in my car trunk.

I come home and while cleaning the trash out of my trunk, I decided my car needs to be washed desperately. The crud that falls from the pecan tree was making it look black instead of white.

So, I wash my car.

Just as I was finishing up, the rag I was using on the windshield caught hold of my wiper blade and ripped it slap off, so now my wiper blade is in three separate pieces.

I talked to Amanda and Kelvin and agree to come down to their house later on and let Kelvin put it back on.


just before I am to leave to go down there, I walk the pups and it is raining/sleeting or what ever out there, sooooo I will need to go tomorrow and get the wiper fixed.

You know, everyone is talking about we won’t ever see this date again…

I thank God that I won’t see another 12-12-12. 

I don’t think I could handle another one.


Thursday, November 22, 2012


Everyday on Facebook, during the month of November, there have been folks saying what they are thankful for. Until today I have not participated, but this being the day of Thanksgiving, I thought I would give it a shot.

The last few days when it has been unnaturally warm, the heater in my car has been working, but this morning when I had to get out and go to the store for cold meds, as cold as it was outside, it didn’t work!

I am thankful I have a car that runs. ( most times!) Some people have to walk.

I am thankful I have shoes.

Some people don’t.

I am thankful that I believe in God. I am thankful for KNOWING that Jesus died on a cross in order to save me. I am thankful that I have God to pray to.. for help for me, my loved ones, and all others.  I am thankful that I know there is a Heaven. I am thankful that I know one sweet day, we will meet our loved ones again there. I am thankful that I know that He is always with me, that He will never leave me.

Some people have never found GOD.  I pray for them too.

I am thankful for Facebook.

I have regained friendships, found loved ones and I do not have to leave my house to be able to talk to someone! I am thankful for all my friends and family on there.

I am thankful for my parents who loved me enough to whoop my butt when I needed it, but would also be just as quick to hug, kiss, and rock me to sleep at night. They also taught me how to respect others and their property.

Some kids have no one who cares that much about them.

I am thankful I was poor when growing up and still poor now.

It makes me have empathy for others who are less fortunate, and also to appreciate what I have.

I am thankful that I finally learned how to ( most times) control my temper, learned how to forgive, and learned how to ‘let go and let GOD’. (It took me a very long time though.)

Some people go through their whole lives carrying old grudges on their backs, chips on their shoulders, and just looking for a fight.

I am thankful for all my nieces and nephews.

They have made me laugh and made me cry, and I love everyone of them with all my heart.

I am thankful that God let me have Danny as a soul mate, best friend and husband for over 35 years.

Some folks don’t get that long with their loved ones.

I am thankful God blessed me with a son and then ten years later; a daughter.

Some will never know the love of a child.

I am thankful that God decided to give me the miracle of grandchildren.

Until you have one, you don’t know known how truly special a grandchild is.

I am thankful I have a special son who will get out in the cold and pick up pecans, crack and shell them to sell…

So that he can buy Christmas for his loved ones.

I am thankful my daughter has prepared a feast for Dan and I, even though she is very much pregnant, has a stent inside of her, and on top of all that, has a cold.

She is a strong woman.

Most of all, I am thankful that God loves and forgives me…

Even when I can’t love or forgive myself.



Sunday, November 11, 2012


Let me just start off by saying that I am madder than an old wet hornet, as my daddy use to say.

Better yet, let me start off by saying that…

I am Madder Than HELL.

I have various ways of getting mad. Sometimes, I get mad in an instant..those are the times that I have to try my best to hold back on my temper. I think I am successful maybe 75% of the time.

Then, there are the times that I first get mad in an instant and I hold it back, and hold it back and hold it back…until I finally explode.

This is one of those times.

I try very, very hard not to publically state my political opinions.  I feel that the usual lies and unfulfilled promises from either politician are not worth losing friends over.

I also feel that any politician running for office here lately needs to be wearing a lie detector belt 24/7. 

So, that being said, and in the words of a dear friend…

I keep it to myself.

Until today.

I am on Facebook. If you are my friend and you read my ‘about me’ section, you will see this:

Political :

When it comes time to cast my vote...I am not on the left, I am not on the right, I am not a liberal, nor am I a conservative..I am just an American who wants the best for our country.

This pretty much sums me up.

Everyday on Facebook, I read a lot of posts on various walls. Usually it is about what someone fixed for supper, how much we love our kids, grandkids, or someone needing prayer, and I love reading them. Here lately though, some of the posts have had my temper boiling and it has gotten to the exploding point.  Never before in my life have I heard so many derogatory, insulting, and downright horrible remarks about some of our American citizens.

The sad part is , these remarks came from fellow Americans.

I know that our country is in pretty rough shape right now, but talk to your parents and grandparents and they will tell you all about the DEPRESSION…where you had to have a stamp to buy gas, a stamp to buy coffee or sugar and then had to wait in long lines to do so, if you had the money.

And yes, I know that there are a lot of folks who feel that is where we may be heading again, but tearing each other down with these hateful and cruel remarks will not help this nation.

Now listen to this..

When I was 18 years old, I proudly marched myself up town and registered to vote. When you registered, you were asked to choose which political party you preferred.

I chose Democrat.

Yep…you heard me right.

If you ask me why, I would probably tell you that it was all I ever heard anyone talking about here in our little town at the time, which was around the late 60’s and early seventy’s…and also because my daddy was a Democrat. 

Just so you know, truth be told, I do not vote solely Democrat, nor do I vote solely Republican on ANY political race…(go back and read my ‘about me’ Facebook profile.)

So, yes, technically, I am a registered Democrat. You can talk about me all you want. Feel free. You won’t be the first nor the last to do so and I have learned to let most of it roll off my back.

Just don’t talk about my kids, my grandchildren, my mama nor my daddy, because this is where I get madder than hell…

In an instant.

Then I explode.

My daddy, who was a Democrat

Worked two and three jobs ALL HIS LIFE…even when he was sick and practically near death.

He was not lazy.

He was not stupid.

He was not a low life.

He was not a blood sucking, welfare grabbing s.o.b.

And he sure as hell was not the scum of the earth…as some have chosen to call all Democrats on Facebook, thus including myself and my daddy.

President Lincoln said that ‘a house divided amongst itself can not stand’ and he was right folks.

If you want to know the truth…I did not like some of President Obama’s plans, nor did I like some of Romney’s plans. In the end, I  actually entertained the idea of writing  Honey Boo-Boo in, so that should tell you how I felt about either candidate.  She just wasn’t old enough. Smile 

I do know one thing, no matter which way I vote, nor the outcome of the presidential race, I will not class all Democrats nor all Republicans into one big ball of mire. All Democrats are not ‘deadbeats who roll in welfare handouts’ ( not my words) and all Republicans are not ‘rich egotistical pompous jerks’. (again, not my words, folks)

Life will go on.

This presidency will last four more years and then a new president will come in. Be them Republican or a Democrat, no matter which political party, I just hope it will be SOMEONE who can help heal this great country of ours and help it stay the greatest nation on earth.

Call me naïve, but I still truly believe that we, the American Citizens, are so much more than just mere Democrats and Republicans. The majority of us are God loving, God fearing, good and decent people of all races. When trouble strikes, no matter where at, we have been known to be the most giving and helpful people in the world.


Remember folks; God don’t like ugly.

“If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and WILL HEAL THEIR LAND.”

God is trying to tell us something.

Think about it and then maybe we should all get down on our knees and pray about it.


Monday, October 29, 2012


First, and foremost, I thank YOU God for being with my sister/ friend today as she underwent surgery. I thank You LORD, with all my heart, for keeping the cancer cells away from her lymph nodes. It will still be a long hard road to her healing, but it will not be quite as rough as it could have been, if she would have had to have chemo.

I thank you Lord for my two nieces, who showed amazing strength and faith as they waited all day for news of their mama’s condition. As much as I would want to brag that they get this super inner strength from their Aunt’lene, in all truth, they get that from her. Even after coming through today’s painful surgery and feeling the nauseating side effects of the anesthesia, there she lay, never uttering a single moan, whereas I would have been kicking and screaming.

I knew she was sick and hurtingI could see it in her eyes. You see,  I have seen her in severe pain, so I know her reactions to it.

I have been through two births with this lady, seeing both my nieces born. She had NO pain medicine during both labors, but I never heard a scream, nor even a whimper, come from her…Although she did grab hold of and lay both of  the side rails of the hospital bed out flat…during each birth. I use to kid her, telling her that the hospital had to buy new bed rails each time she went in labor!

Cancer, you sick, demented demon, how DARE you touch this good and sweet lady… my friend, my sister, my niece’s mom?

I do have a warning for you though. Don’t let her sweet demeanor fool you. You don’t know her like I do.

Honestly, you don’t stand a chance.

She has more quiet determination in her little finger, than most folks have experienced in their whole lives. She will beat you and she will do it quietly and with great dignity.

Because that’s how she rolls. 

Oh……and one more thing….

She never ever gives up.

Thank YOU LORD for for the many, many blessings YOU give us…

And also for the angels You bring into our lives.



Wednesday, October 17, 2012


I went to see Amanda and the boys today. I got my big box from UPS yesterday and wanted to take them the goodies that I had ordered for them. I got the boys a down alternative blanket for each of their beds. I also got each of them a pair of footed PJ’s with little monkeys all over them…appropriate huh?!!!

Truth be told,  Mawmaw just couldn’t stand thinking of them being cold this winter. I also got them some Lightning McQueen shoes that the headlights light up on the little car icon on the side of them when they walk. Wyatt’s and William both had feet too big for their shoes! But at least Wyatt’s ended up fitting Will, which means I only have to trade Will’s for a bigger size for Wyatt.

I also got each of them a couple of pair of jeans and two shirts. William got an ELMO shirt and after trying it on, REFUSED to take it back off! Wyatt got Curious George on his and ended up keeping his on too. They each got a brown sweat shirt that says, “If you’re looking for trouble, YOU FOUND IT!”  Soooooooooooo true! heehee!  I got their mama a new maternity blouse and a pair of maternity jeans. Both fit her to a tee, thank goodness!

While busy looking in the box, Wyatt and Will both asked me, “Did you get us a prize Mawmaw?” Now I knew little boys don’t consider blankets or clothes as a prize…and they are use to me having them a prize when they come over to my house. ( I go to the Dollar Tree and buy them a dollar prize that they think is worth millions!! ) I did have them a little snack size bag of marshmallows each. William could eat his weight in marshmallows, but their little snack bags only had about 8 mini size each. As soon as Will caught Wyatt’s back turned, he grabbed his snack bag. I said, “ William give me that bag” and before I knew it, he had opened it and grabbed all the marshmallows and popped them in his little mouth! I couldn’t get mad because it took all I had in me not to laugh! He looked just like a little squirrel with marshmallows in his cheek…and a  HAPPY little squirrel at that!

The box that held all their goodies was huge. So when Wyatt and Will asked me again for a prize, I said, “ look…play with this box. Wyatt,you and Will go get your crayons” and when they both ran off to get them, Amanda got busy cutting a ‘door’ in the side of the box. By the time they got back and had decorated it, they had them a space ship! Amanda even made a little steering wheel for them out of some of the card board she had cut off!

They both got into their space ship by their side door and Wyatt said, “Three, two, one…BLAST OFF!” and our little guys were gone to the moon!  I told Amanda that one day, they just may be astronauts and we would think back to this day! They played with that box…excuse me…spaceship…for over two hours! You know, I think that is what I will get them for Christmas……some huge cardboard boxes!!

We were sitting on the porch swing when I got ready to leave, so I told them to come get in my lap and give me a hug and kiss, because I had to go home. Wyatt said , “Mawmaw, why you got to go? Will Uncle Dan be worried about you?” I told him no, but I had to go by and see my mama. They knew who I was talking about, because they have been to see her a time or two. Wyatt said, “Mawmaw…why her in the she sick?”  I said, “no Wyatt, she is just very old and can not stay home by herself anymore…”  

The words he said next shook me up a little. He said,“Mawmaw… what will happen to me when I get old?” I swallowed hard and said, “Well Wyatt, you will have a wife and lots of children and grandchildren”. He said, “Mawmaw, I just want the grandchildren….but they can’t ride on my gator, cause the battery is dead!!”

God bless their little hearts.

I thank You soooooooooo much for my grandbabies God. They never fail to remind me, that we were all put here as innocents...

and once upon a time…

a cardboard box could be our spaceship.

To God be the Glory.


Monday, September 24, 2012



I have two recipe boxes. The little green one is from 1971, the year Danny and I married. The blue one came quite a few years later and has bigger and newer recipe card collection.

Going through the green one today to find a certain recipe I needed, was like taking a trip back in time.

The first recipe I came across was for ‘Dump Cake’.  This was the cake that Danny's Aunt Net shared with the family one Christmas. It was such a hit that Danny’s mom got the recipe and every Christmas afterwards, there would be a dump cake on the table.

Then there was the recipe for the Rice Pudding that my mama use to make. The way my mama made it though, was in no way like a pudding. The consistency was more like a sticky cake made in an oblong metal pan. Just seeing that recipe brought the memory of my mama mixing it all together in a white red rimmed bowl on our old table. ( I could even see the well worn red checked oil cloth that was always on it.) I would sit there as a child and watch my mama mixing the left over rice together with the eggs, milk and flour along with sugar and spices. The smell of the cinnamon and vanilla would be a sweet perfume floating around our old kitchen that day.

I found the recipe for Peanut Butter Cake and icing that Danny’s 90 plus year old Big Mama still makes. Years ago, when she found out that I loved that cake because my granny use to make the exact same one, she began making me one as a Christmas gift each Christmas. The whole family loved this cake so much, that Big Mama would actually sneak the cake over to my house as if she was delivering stolen goods! God bless her heart.

My Granny was always making cakes, but she never wrote the recipes down, least not to my knowledge. She just kept them all in her head. So when she passed on, so did the recipes. Once, right after I began working at the BBQ, I mentioned to my boss lady that I wish I had gotten the recipe for my Granny’s nut cake before she passed on. Not long afterwards, my boss came to work with some recipes of her mom’s that she had carefully handwritten down for me. I found those recipes today and I am still in awe that she would take the time to do such a nice thing for me.

The recipe for ‘Peanut Butter Squares’ has a note I had written on the bottom of the stained old index card… ‘Amanda made these on Oct. 16, 1991.’ She was 9 years old and had brought the recipe home from school to make for school work. I can still see her working so hard at our kitchen table. She wanted them to be just right…and they were! They were so good and moist and she was one happy little girl!

I found an old yellowed notebook paper neatly folded and pushed in the far back of the box. I opened it up and found the recipe for baked chicken and rice that I had made up many years ago. Down at the bottom of the page, for some reason, I had signed my name and to the left was where Danny had also signed my name. He would sometimes sit at the table as I prepared our suppers and the memory of him saying that he was going to try to write it just like me came to me like sunlight filtering into a window. Seeing his writing again brought tears to my eyes.

I finally found the recipe that I had been searching for and as I placed the recipe box back in it’s place on the counter, it dawned on me that these were not just recipes.

These were the foods that we all enjoyed together as a family. They were the Christmases, the Thanksgivings, the Easters and the Birthdays which we all celebrated for generations with our loved ones…Some long gone now.

No, they are not just recipes…

They are the precious memories of a life lived.


Tuesday, September 18, 2012


I picked up a few limbs that were blown down from the huge oak tree in my front yard overnight when I got up this morning. I tossed them across the road where the city truck will pick them up. We were under a tornado watch last night, but I did not hear it raining, nor the wind blowing at all. Guess I slept pretty good…better than I thought!

Later on today, I went out to Tendercare Pharmacy to get Dan’s meds. On the way back home, I had the radio tuned to the Greensboro station. Just as I was passing Lee’s Chinese Restaurant, Chubby Checker began singing ‘Come on baby, let’s do the twist and I was instantly transported back in time.

When I was a little kid back in the 60’s, our Movie Theater was the building that now houses Lee’s restaurant. Back in the day, they use to play music before the show on Saturdays and you could dance… if you dared! ‘The Twist’ was one of those songs that played and we would get out there in our socks and twist our little 7 and 8 year old booties off! The Twist was the dance back then and we thought we were something!

Isn’t it amazing that the songs of our youth, the songs of the 50’ and 60’s, are still being played and even enjoyed by our own children and grandchildren? I truly believe that there was something special about that era….Oh sure, we had our problems back then. Remember the Cuban Missile Crisis and the drills we had at school? But those times sure seemed to be  so much lighter and brighter than now….

Or maybe it is just by looking back that we can actually see it clearly for what it was…an age of innocence.

Back in the 50’s/ 60’s people had only one TV, if they were lucky and that one TV only picked up two or three channels! You used an antenna that was attached to a tall metal pole stuck in the ground outside the window where the TV was. Some had it way up on top of the roof and the picture was still grainy and fuzzy. You were constantly going outside to turn that antenna, hoping to pick up a better signal.  Now days we have a TV in every room with hundreds of crystal clear channels on each one and the TV antennas are a thing of the past.

Some folks still had outdoor toilets and a well in the yard for their water back then. Our well went dry out on Horseshoe Bend, so daddy had to haul water in milk cans from the dairy near by. How we got by on those few milk cans of my mama managed to make it all work out, what with all us children, day by day…is beyond me.

The refrigerators were small and the ice box was just that, a tiny box in the top, with just room enough to put two metal ice trays in. Great clunks of ice would form around it and you had to defrost that little freezer by hand.

Danny and I had one of those refrigerators when we married. If I close my eyes, I can still see it. I was sitting here thinking back and wondering what I did with my meat.. If I had no room for it in that little bitty freezer, where did I keep it?  It soon dawned on me that I didn't cook meat at every meal, but usually only once a week. We mostly lived on beans and potatoes or beans and rice! We did have some fried salt fatback every now and then though.

The washers had wringers and the dryers were outdoor clothes lines. Baby diapers were made of cloth and you sure didn’t throw them away. You rinsed the soiled ones out and then you washed them…preferably in Ivory Snow or Dreft.

For my first baby, Dan, Danny’s Big Mama made me about two or three dozen diapers out of mill cloth..She also made the first sheets for our old iron double bed out of that mill cloth.  I can remember hanging up Dan's diapers in the hot summer mornings and by the time I got the last one out, the first one would be dry. In the winter time, you really didn’t need clothes pins, because those cloth diapers usually froze right to the line when the weather was freezing cold. If the wind was blowing, it would sting when they slapped you in the face! But you know what? I can still remember the sweet smell of those baby diapers when I took them off that clothes line and folded  them for my babies, because I would stick my nose to them and breathe deeply…

Oh, they always smelled so good and  fresh.

You know, it seems to me that it’s not what you have, but rather what you make of what you have, that helps you to be happy and content.








Tuesday, September 11, 2012


Years ago, some of us who wrote in AOL JOURNALS were asked to take part in honoring those who were killed during the 911 terrorist attack on The United States of America…

You chose a name and then you found out what you could about their lives and you wrote about them… so that they would not be forgotten.

As long as I can , I will continue to republish this each year.

So that Margaret Seeliger will not be forgotten…….


It was a beautiful morning,with bright, clear blue skies as Margaret Seeliger and her husband Bruce left their Manhattan apartment and stood in line to vote in New York's primary election. It was a sunny day with all the airports reporting 100% visibility. After voting, they would have walked on toward work together as usual, but Bruce had a doctor's appointment.

So this morning, they kissed goodbye at the corner of 76th Street and Third Avenue. Bruce stood watching as Margaret boarded the train that would take her to her job and unknowingly, to her fate. You see, only thirty-four years old, Margaret Seeliger was employed as Head of the Student Health Division of Anon Insurance.

Which happened to be located on the 100th floor at 2 World Trade Center in New York.

Margaret had boundless energy, and lived her life to the fullest. She felt and often stated that "you never know how long you have here on this earth" , so she was always busy. Many of her weekends were spent in Buffalo visiting with her mom, who had fallen victim to Alzheimer's. Margaret was a very important part of her mom's care, attending to even the smallest details for her.

Since her mother was no longer able to do so, Margaret had taken over the role of being "Grandma" to her 11 nieces and nephews. She and her husband Bruce were constantly traveling to soccer games, or school plays in Rochester, California, Philadelphia and Atlanta, Georgia. Looking so much like her own mom, the children had even began calling her "Grandma".

On some weekends, she and Bruce would catch a flight to Atlanta to visit with her sister Beth and her three children. It was on one of those last visits that Margaret asked Beth to hold on to the crib and baby clothes that she had in her basement...secretly confiding that she wanted to start trying to get pregnant that November.

November never came for Margaret.

On that bright and beautiful morning of September 11, 2001, Bin Laden ordered an attack on AMERICA, killing thousands of innocent people as planes crashed into the the Pentagon, an open field and… The World Trade Center Towers.


Where Margaret worked.

I can not imagine the fear and the panic that had to be running rampant through the buildings as people tried to flee to safety, but Margaret Seeliger bravely gave up her space on the last over crowded elevator that would leave the 100th floor of 2 World Trade Center… So that two of her colleagues could make it out.


So, Bin Laden…





God bless you Margaret Seeliger and May Our Almighty God rest your soul….

May His Holy Spirit continue to bring comfort to your family and friends.







Tuesday, August 14, 2012


You know, it never fails that I get a message from God when ever I am riding on a little ‘woe is me’ train of thoughts. Just when I am really digging deep into the pity ditch, and whining to myself that I have it so hard…
God will zap me!
He always does.
See, anytime that I worry about things, God reminds me of how fortunate I really am.
I worry about having a home that is falling apart. This 100 year old tin roof may leak when it rains, but hey, I’ve got a bucket!   As long as those two giant trees that hang over it stay firmly rooted in the ground and hold onto their huge limbs during the storms, me and Dan will be okay. At least I HAVE a home.
Some folks call a cardboard box a home.
I worry that I  have a car that is over 16 years old. (and  it has cost me over $500.00 in the last three weeks alone) Thank God I had a little money put back for ‘ just in case’, cause my ‘just in case’ hit all at once and left me and Dan stranded in Madison. Yesterday, I saw that the price of gas jumped 20 cents a gallon overnight at the place I get it at…but you know what? At least I HAVE a car.
Some people have to walk to get to where they are going.
I worry that groceries are high and seem to be getting higher every week that I go into the grocery store. By the time you buy a 5lb. bag of flour, a 5lb bag of sugar and a gallon of milk, you have already spent over ten dollars! Not to mention how much it cost to wash your clothes. I never thought I would live to see the day that detergent would cost as much as it does now. Then God reminds me that I have a job to make the money to buy a few groceries.
Some people don’t have a job to go to.
Some people still go to bed hungry.
I have been hungry in my life’s not fun.
Getting old is no picnic either. You have aches and pains where you never even knew that you had parts. I think my bones are like cereal…they snap crackle and pop!  Just what in the heck was someone smoking when they coined the phrase, “The golden years” ?  I have yet to find those golden years. I think I will instead call them the “been there / done that, now leave me the heck alone, my bones are aching ” years. 
But then…
God reminds me that I am here with my family and loved ones, and I am able to see my little grandbabies grow, able to enjoy this beautiful world that God has created. In the words of the song;  it’s a wonderful world. How awesome that HE created all of this just for us. I see HIM in the clouds, in the trees, in the sunrises and the sunsets, in the flowers, the oceans, the rivers, the mountains and the wheat and corn fields, and in all HIS creaturesHE is here with us.

Sunday, July 29, 2012


lindsey children


Star bright…

first star

I see tonight…

wish I may

wish I might

have this wish

I wish tonight.

How many of us, back in the days of our childhood…back in those golden days of care free innocence…have said this simple little rhyme while gazing up at those twinkling bright diamonds that our Lord displays for us at night?

I did.

In the darkness of the summer nights, while watching the lightning bugs flittering here and there with their little yellow tail lights blinking on and off, on and off , listening to all the frogs and crickets calling for rain…me and my sister Sue would be sitting on the steps of our front porch. Back there on Horseshoe Bend, way out there in the Georgia pines, two little country girls would be wishing their little hearts out on that ‘first star’ they happened to see.

I sort of figured sister Sue was probably wishing to marry Ringo Starr, the drummer for the Beatles. She had such a huge crush on him back then.  I loved Paul, but I saved him for my dreams at night…I wasn’t wasting any of my wishes on something that I knew would never happen in a million years!

Sue never did tell me what she was wishing for and I didn’t blame her back then. Everybody knew that if you told your wish, that it wouldn’t come true! My wish never varied. When I saw that first little twinkling star, I would wish each and every time with all my might and holding my breath that…

I lived in a house with indoor plumbing and paint on the walls!


So I didn’t tell sister Sue my wish either. She would have laughed her tail off at me if I had. I laugh about it now too when I happen to think about it, but I do know this much…

Wishing on a star must work sometimes, because I got my wish.

It may have came years later, but by gosh that little girl on Horseshoe Bend got her wish.

The grown up me just wishes that I had been a little more specific and used a whole lot more imagination!


You know…

I think I am going to go sit out on my front porch for a little bit and look at the stars.


Monday, July 16, 2012

Dead Things


Whew!!! Dan and I just got through cutting the grass and weed-eating. We got a pretty late start, but we got it done!

After we cut and trimmed our yard, we cut the old home place's yard. To do this, we put the lawn mower and weed-eater in the trunk of my car and hauled it up there. The dang mower died on us before we got halfway through, so we had to bring it back home and get the other one.

I did get the flower beds weeded though, thank goodness, before the weed eater died too. It just needs recharging.

The lawn mower, on the other hand is really, seriously…

D-E-A-D .

I noticed that the trees Amanda and Kelvin planted in the front yard are dead as door-nails! They are so dead, that they are dark brown from the bottom of the trunks to the tip top branches and look like trees you would see in horror films.

I had hoped so much that they would live. These two trees, one on each side, had lived longer than any of the others planted there since my daddy’s death.

I had hoped they would break the spell.

Back in the sixties, right after buying that little Mill Town house, my daddy planted two dogwood trees in that front yard. One on each side. They were the straightest dogwood trees you ever saw.  Bless his heart, he was always having to fuss at the grandchildren for trying to climb them or swing on the lower branches!  He watched after those trees like a mother hen watches her little biddies. He looked forward to seeing those trees blooming with their pretty milky white petals in the springtime.

My daddy was around 70 years old when he began his fight with emphysema. It was a fight that would go on for for several years. Early in 1985, he begin slowly losing the battle.

In the spring of that year, those two dogwood trees were so beautiful that every neighbor on the street were talking about them. Although weakened now by that hideous disease, Daddy would sit in his recliner, gazing at their beauty. He was so proud of them.  Everyday when I would go over there, Daddy would say, ‘Have you seen my trees?’

By the time the last few petals had hit the ground, Daddy was already too weak to leave his bed.

A little later on, in July of 1985, my daddy left this world for a far better place.

His beloved dogwood trees?

Well, they died too.

Both of them….

At the same time.

Although there have been other trees planted in that yard since, none have ever lived for very long.

Guess I shouldn’t have been so surprised today when I went up there and saw those two dead too.

Okay, enough of this…I have plenty of other work to do around here and have also got to go to town to do some errands.

I won’t get anything done sitting here reminiscing


Saturday, June 16, 2012


              my daddy and amanda

He didn’t have much education, but he could spell, read, and do a little arithmetic. He could write his name and do it equally well with both hands, since he was ambidextrous.

He worked two and three jobs all his life. He was a barber and had his own shop when he lived in the Blue Ridge Mountains. Once he left the mountains, he milked cows, plowed fields, ran a little country store, and worked in the produce section in a grocery store in town and the only hair he cut was his children’s.

He drove a school bus for the county school for over twenty years. Drove that big old yellow bus,number 13,down the dirt roads in the country, even when rain would about wash them out…and never had an accident in all those years he drove.

Back in those days, there were no free handouts, so he worked day in and day out with two hernias the size of grapefruits…one on each side of his body...until he had to have the operation. Then he went back to work way too soon, in order to put food on our table. The surgery came undone and still he worked. Everydayat least two jobs a day, that paid little to nothing…until he retired.

He had huge bunions, and corns on both his feet and yet he stood on them all day long to make us a living. I use to watch him limp into the house after working all day and my mama pour hot water in a metal basin. I can still see him plain as day, sitting in that old wooden chair with his feet soaking in that tin basin of water. When I get off work now and my feet are tired and hurting, I think about how my poor daddy’s feet had to have hurt so much worse than mine, and it makes me ashamed of my weakness.

One of my first memories is of him rocking me to sleep, all the while singing; ‘Calico girl won’t you come out tonight…come out tonight.’ He did this every night while I was small, because I was his baby girl. ( I remember him singing, ‘You Are My Sunshine’  to my mama. )

He never had to spank us. He never had to yell. He was one of those daddy’s that could give you that look and you would sit your butt down and be quiet in a hurry…but even during those times, we had no doubt that our daddy loved us.

He loved to hunt and fish. He would take all of us kids and mama to church and drop us out and then he would go fishing, coming back for us when church was over! But, knowing this, I have no doubt that he is in Heaven. He was a good man, a God fearing man, worshipping God wherever he was.  The way Daddy saw it, he only had one day off and he could fish for our supper and worship God at the same time.

Lying in the hospital bed, the day he died, he told me he was ready to go home. I thought he meant their home in Greensboro, but later that day, he called the preacher to come. I was there when he said the sinner’s prayer with that preacher…and that night, I was there with him when he took his last breath.

No, He wasn't rich and he wasn’t a highly educated man, but he was my first and best male role model. If I tell you that you remind me of my daddy, that is the highest compliment I can give and trust me, I haven’t given it very often, because not many men can fill his shoes. When he was alive, I knew all I had to do was call him and he would be there.

Someone once said;

‘Anyone can be a Father, but it takes someone special to be a daddy.’ 

No truer words spoken…


Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Looking Back

Today, a young man came and installed some boxes on my TV’s. My cable service switched over to a different service and in order to keep getting my channels, I had to have these boxes…which of course means extra money tacked onto the bill.

It also means me trying to figure the dang 100 button remote out and then me teaching Dan how to use them….

Lord have mercy on me.

Looking back to my childhood out on Horseshoe Bend, I wonder why in the world I was in such a hurry to leave that place? Oh, to be able to go back and know then what I know now. I would hide under the bed and never leave.

I swear to you that I would be like Peter Pan and live out my life as a child.

For a long time, back then, we had no TV and when we finally did get one, it was all because my mama wrote an essay to enter a contest as to ‘why Frank, my brother, would love to have a dang dog’!

Mama was always writing and entering all kinds of contests..I may be partial, but my mama could write! Once she wrote an essay honoring my Aunt Em, and I forget now what Aunt Em won, but my mama got a cook book out of it! My Aunt Em was a wonderfully sweet lady and I am 100% sure it wasn’t very hard to  write an essay honoring her.

On this particular contest that mama won though, Frank was invited to be on TV to get his prize! I mean, can you imagine??  We are talking late 50’s, when TV was something fairly new and to be able to actually be on a TV show??? I don’t remember who actually took  Frank to Atlanta to be on  (what I believe was) WSB TV. I’ll have to ask my brother one day. I do know that Mama and Daddy were bound and determined to be able to see their first born get his prize on TV.

That TV we got showed 2 channels I think…and to get the picture, someone was constantly having to go outside and turn the antenna this way and that until it cleared up. I can remember my brothers having to stand out there in the yard and be ready to turn that antenna when wrestling was on! My daddy and Mr. Roger Boswell and a few other men of the community would have the best times watching that show, yelling and going on like little boys.

I can remember Mama always watched ‘As The world Turns’ and ‘Queen For A Day’ and I always secretly dreamed that one day SHE would be the Queen For A Day. She never was of course, but she will always be a Queen in my heart.

On Saturdays, we kids would get to watch Sky King, Roy Rogers with Dale Evans, The Lone Ranger, Tarzan, and various cartoons, if we were quiet and had done all our chores.

Other days we were always outside playing in the yard until the sun went down. You know, thinking back, we didn’t have very many toys at all…but that didn’t stop us from having fun. We played games such as leap frog, hide and seek, Red rover, and hop scotch…among all the other ones we would make up.

We actually used something back in those days that is in short supply these days…


Yep, if I could only go back to those good old days.

People worked hard, but at least they worked. There were no government hand outs back then, and most folks would have been too proud to take it, even if it had been. 

Though it was a hard way of life, in general, it was a lot less stressful.

And the dang TV service was FREE!





Sunday, May 20, 2012


There’s not anything much more beautiful than Springtime.

It is my favorite time of the year. Everything is blooming, bees are a buzzing and birds are a singing. Looking up this Sunday morning, I could see clear blue skies with white puffy clouds floating lazily by, like ships sailing on the ocean and I am at peace.

There is a sense of calm that fills my soul today.

It is as if God is standing here next to me, whispering in my ear that things are going to be okay…that no matter what, HE has my back…that He has been here for me even when I have felt my most most unwanted and unloved. I, like so many others, have a hard time remembering that when I need him most…when  I am at my lowest.

HE is calling to me.

I have had so many offers to come to church this morning...all in different locations...all different denominations.

It is as if HE is saying..’It doesn’t matter where or in what form…you need to get there and you need to hear MY word.

I feel sort of like a little lost child, because I know that I have been  seeking HIM too.  I need to hear HIS word. It has been way too long. Like the grass in my backyard that has went without rain for what seems like forever, my soul has become withered.

I need the SPIRIT of GOD to soak down into my soul. It has got be replenished, and rehydrated…so that it can become ALIVE. 


So, I am closing this entry out right now.

He has called me…

And I am going.


Sunday, May 6, 2012

Missing Parts

It’s 9:29pm and I am lonely. You see, there are parts of me missing.

You know how people are always saying, “ time flies ” ?

It does.

It’s like when you’re young,maybe nearing eighteen,  all your future lies ahead of you, so time seems to drag. Then you hit your twenties and time speeds up…just a little bit.

In your thirties, usually by this time, you are married or in a serious relationship and beginning to “settle down” . You are raising your children, working hard to provide for them, going to their school functions, tending to your home and in general very busyTime is speeding up.

By your forties, your children are nearing graduation, your parents are aging, work is harder than ever,  your energy is lagging and you are wondering why you're always tired. Time is getting away from you.

You’re in your fifties. Your children are gone and too busy to come around because they are just beginning their lives. You are experiencing the ‘empty nest syndrome’. Your parents are gone, either by death or by Alzheimer's and sometimes…

God forbid…

Even the love of your life has left you too.

Yep, there are parts of me missing tonight.


Wednesday, April 11, 2012

A Conversation With My Mama



I went to see my Mama today. Since it was late afternoon, I called ahead to make sure she wasn’t eating supper. If she is eating, she will first try to get you to eat and then if you don’t, she will stop eating herself. She has always done this. I think it is a throw back to the days on Horseshoe Bend, when sometimes we didn’t have much to eat and she would not eat until all of her children had.

When I called, they said to give it thirty more minutes and then come. In thirty minutes I was there. She was already in bed when I walked into her room, but thankfully, she wasn’t asleep.

After I hugged and kissed her, I pulled her wheel chair up to her bed and had a seat…preparing myself for the “Who are you honey…do I know you?” questions.

Instead I got a nice surprise…

My Mama knew me!

She said, “Carlene, you are my baby. We needed you. You had the prettiest wavy hair. You are the prettiest one out of all of them!” I had to laugh at that last sentence….

You see…

She use to tell ALL SIX of us that! She would tell us separately, without the others present. It would be many, many years to pass, before we were to find this out! We were all sitting on Mama’s front porch one day, and for some reason, one of us popped up and said, “Well, Mama always said I was the prettiest!” Well, it didn’t take long for the other five to let it be known loud and clear that she had told each one of them the very same thing!  We all laughed hysterically!

Our dear sweet mama had, for all those years, had each of us thinking that “we” were the prettiest!

She went on to ask, “Have you had any sleep?  You are going to need your sleep, because you never know….and I don’t want it to scare you when it happens. Don’t let it scare you.”

I did not ask what she meant when she said this…I didn’t want to know.

“Did you have supper? Do you get enough to eat?” Now, only a mama would ask that of a noticeably overweight lady!

“Did they ever find Walt’s ( my long deceased daddy) car? Now I swear that I don’t know what happened to it, I just seen that it was gone!  I couldn’t help but laugh out loud when she said this…mama could be sneaky in her old days, especially if she was mad at my daddy!

When I got ready to leave, I told her that I loved her…and she looked me right in the eye and said,“ I love you more, because I had you” 

After more hugs and kisses, I left her there in her bed, with her asking, “Are you coming back tonight???”

Walking blindly down the Nursing Home hallway, I thought about how my son Dan was sooooo right….

I cry when she doesn’t know me, and I cry when she does.


Monday, February 27, 2012




It’s funny, but when I walked into Wal-Mart today to get my medicines today, the first thing that caught my eye was the CODE ADAM sign posted on the front door. This means, among other things, that if a child is lost, an alert goes out and each associate works hard to try and make sure that child is found.

You know, looking back, I think God was trying to tell me something….

While at the store,  I decided to get me some new ankle socks. I try to save as much as possible, so I buy my socks in the boys section. (You get more and they are cheaper. )

While I was looking at the different brands and prices, I noticed a little bitty girl walking up and down the aisles. She looked to be about Wyatt’s age…around three…much too young to be on her own.

The grandma in me immediately went on alert.

I stood there looking at the socks, yet also keeping an eye out for the child. She was still walking up and down the aisles. It wasn’t very long before she came up to me. With tears about to spill over, she said, “Do you know where my mommy is?”  I said, “No, but we can go get someone to call her for you.” 

Being right behind the ladies dressing rooms, I quickly walked with her around to the front and sure enough, there were two Wal-Mart associates standing there at the desk. I explained to them that we had a “lost mommy” and one of them immediately took the little girl up to the front of the store to the courtesy desk.

I walked back around to the socks and it wasn’t very long before I saw a lady calmly describing a little girl to a Wal-Mart employee near there. This lady was holding on to a buggy and had two more little girls walking along beside her. I walked over and asked the associate if the lady had lost a child in the store and she told me she had. When I told that lady that her child was at the courtesy desk, and explained to her how she had came up to me asking for my help, she actually seemed more agitated than worried and said, “Well, she won’t stay in the buggy and then she wanders off all the time.”

Oh man…

I wanted so badly to say to this mama..”well then you MAKE her stay in the buggy, no ifs, ands, or buts about it”. I also wanted to say,” your little girl just walked up to a complete stranger and came right along with me when I asked her to. I would rather her be kicking and screaming in that dang buggy than be kidnapped!But the mama had already left to go to the courtesy desk….leaving me stunned. All I could think, as I watched her walk away was that;  I could have been someone who was not so nice. I could have been an evil person

And that baby walked right up to me, trusting me to help her.

God forbid, but I would have been frantic had I lost Wyatt or little William. We have entirely too many little ones being kidnapped and worse. We have got to start keeping a better eye on our little children.

This morning,while walking my pups, I saw the mother hen and her eight little fuzzy yellow chicks in my yard again. All eight of them chirping and running all about, scratching around in the dirt just like their mama. The mother hen was constantly rounding them up and guiding them closer to her and at one time she actually nestled down on top of them, to try to keep them all together…

To keep them safe.

Shouldn’t we as humans do at least that much for our little ones?

Thank You God for for helping me be where I was, when that child was lost.


Tuesday, February 21, 2012




We begin our lives by learning….

Why, our very first breath is our first learning adventure, though I believe that we are fortunate not to be able to remember that one.


If you stop and think about it, things were pretty comfy for us while still in our mother’s womb. Yep, we are snug as a bug in our own warm, quiet and dimly lit little world. Then all of a sudden we are literally forced out into a place where there is a lot of bright light, a lot of loud noise, and Lord help us, Mom is not our oxygen machine any longer! For the very first time in our existence, we have to breathe on our own in order to live! Now, I tell you what; that first breath had to have been a very traumatic experience! God bless our little hearts, no wonder we usually cry when we are first born.


Fortunately, within a very short span, if all goes well, we are able to learn to eat, sit, stand and walk. Yep, we usually get the basics out of the way fast and with no problems.

It is the lessons we learn later on in life that are usually the hard ones, the ones that seem to take us such a long time to get though our heads.

Lesson # 1. Parents were people before they ever were parents and they are smarter than we ever thought.

Lesson # 2.  Parents grow old and pass away. Sometimes we can lose them before they die, so we need to love, respect, and honor them before that happens.

Lesson # 3.  Children are a blessing and they grow up way too fast.

Lesson # 4.  All the important things, like love, respect, honesty, common decency, and being a law abiding citizen, we need to teach our children before they grow up. The ten commandments are a good start. 

Lesson # 5. Sometimes we are lucky enough to find that special someone…someone that our very soul knows is the right one to spend the rest of our life with…to grow old with.

Lesson # 6.  Sometimes God has other plans. So we need to remember to tell our loved one everyday how much they mean to us…not just on holidays.

Lesson # 7. Sometimes GOD does things or turns our lives in directions that we can not understand with our mortal minds.

Lesson # 8  FAITH IN GOD will bring us through all these rough spots…It may be a long journey. It may seem to be all up hill. It may HURT us more than anything has ever hurt us before, but it is then that we need to hold tightly to our FAITH, and we will eventually make it through.

Lesson # 9  GOD IS GOOD.

Lesson # 10  GOD IS GOOD.

Yes I know….

Lesson 9 and 10 are exactly alike.

You see, I  learned these two lessons as a child,

and it keeps coming back to me….

 over and over again.



Wednesday, February 8, 2012


Well, today has started out to be a pretty interesting day.

On my way home from town a while ago, I saw the big black and tan sheppard dog running up the sidewalk about a block from my home.

This dog is one of the many that run loose around our neighborhood. You wouldn't think that our city has a leash law, but it does. No matter how many times I call the animal shelter to come round them up, somehow or the other, there are still big dogs running loose around here...and chickens..and roosters...and turkeys.  Some people seem to think that just because they come from' far away', that they are above out laws and customs!

Okay back to the subject...

On my way home, I saw the big black and tan dog running up the sidewalk.

Only this time he had a huge white thing hanging from his mouth. At first I thought it was the beautiful solid white cat that had been hanging around here, but then I remembered that it had been killed a couple of weeks ago. I took a closer look and the big white thing was a rabbit that was dangling helplessly from that dog's mouth... and it was still alive..

I really needed to get home, but I could no more let that poor rabbit go to it's fate than if it were a child...

Sooooo.... here I go up the street in my car blowing my horn  and yelling constantly out the window at the dog to "DROP IT!"  The  dog turns around and heads back down the street, the rabbit still helplessly dangling from it's mouth, so I slam my car in reverse and chase the stupid dog  backwards...screaming; " DROP IT! " 

Well, I be danged if it didn't turn around again and head back up the street!  Soooooooo... I throw the car back in drive and chase it back up the street. This time I was able to corner it in my mom's old home place's yard. 

It was then and only then that the stupid dog finally, blessedly;


The poor rabbit runs around to the side of the house and I now see  yet another dog running towards it. By this time I am out of my car and on my way to the rabbit. The new dog must have seen the fury of hell that was shining in my eyes, because one look at my face and he just cowards down and walked back across the street!

I go up to the poor rabbit, thinking this thing is going to claw me up, but no it did not. Poor little guy just cuddled way down into my arms. I could feel it's heart racing ninety miles an hour against my jacket... and mine wasn't far behind it.

Thinking back...I bet the folks who may have been looking out their windows at me driving wildly up and down the street, honking the horn and screaming out the window to "DROP IT"   probably thought I was deranged or on drugs... or both!!! lol

I take the rabbit and get in my car and go to the Mexicans' house that I had seen white rabbits running around out in the back yard in a fenced in area. When I knock on the door, a young lady answers and I ask, "is this your rabbit?" As she nods yes, I say, "the big black dog up the street had it and was going to kill it, so I chased it down and got it back" She nods  again and backing away from me  says, "wait a minute" and goes in another room, to come back with a young man. He comes up to me and I give him the rabbit and explain again. By this time, the young lady is now half hiding behind a door to the side and I don't know if she is scared of me or the rabbit! Soon enough, the young man tells me thank you and I leave feeling better.

After all, I saved a rabbit today!

Now, when I was a little bitty girl on Horseshoe Bend, my daddy would go rabbit hunting and he would come home loaded down with rabbits in his hunting jacket. That night, mama would cook those rabbits that my daddy shot, skinned and cleaned and we would have either stewed or fried rabbit for supper. And you can bet I ate it. We were hungry and very grateful to have such good   food for supper!

But this situation today was totally different...

This was a pet white rabbit and a dog was going to tear into it.

And besides....

I buy my food at INGLES now.

When I got home and told my son of how I saved that poor little white rabbit....

He informs me that he thinks those folks that I gave it back to...

 Eat those rabbits.

After all this...I sure hope not.

For mine and the rabbit's sake.