Wednesday, April 11, 2012

A Conversation With My Mama



I went to see my Mama today. Since it was late afternoon, I called ahead to make sure she wasn’t eating supper. If she is eating, she will first try to get you to eat and then if you don’t, she will stop eating herself. She has always done this. I think it is a throw back to the days on Horseshoe Bend, when sometimes we didn’t have much to eat and she would not eat until all of her children had.

When I called, they said to give it thirty more minutes and then come. In thirty minutes I was there. She was already in bed when I walked into her room, but thankfully, she wasn’t asleep.

After I hugged and kissed her, I pulled her wheel chair up to her bed and had a seat…preparing myself for the “Who are you honey…do I know you?” questions.

Instead I got a nice surprise…

My Mama knew me!

She said, “Carlene, you are my baby. We needed you. You had the prettiest wavy hair. You are the prettiest one out of all of them!” I had to laugh at that last sentence….

You see…

She use to tell ALL SIX of us that! She would tell us separately, without the others present. It would be many, many years to pass, before we were to find this out! We were all sitting on Mama’s front porch one day, and for some reason, one of us popped up and said, “Well, Mama always said I was the prettiest!” Well, it didn’t take long for the other five to let it be known loud and clear that she had told each one of them the very same thing!  We all laughed hysterically!

Our dear sweet mama had, for all those years, had each of us thinking that “we” were the prettiest!

She went on to ask, “Have you had any sleep?  You are going to need your sleep, because you never know….and I don’t want it to scare you when it happens. Don’t let it scare you.”

I did not ask what she meant when she said this…I didn’t want to know.

“Did you have supper? Do you get enough to eat?” Now, only a mama would ask that of a noticeably overweight lady!

“Did they ever find Walt’s ( my long deceased daddy) car? Now I swear that I don’t know what happened to it, I just seen that it was gone!  I couldn’t help but laugh out loud when she said this…mama could be sneaky in her old days, especially if she was mad at my daddy!

When I got ready to leave, I told her that I loved her…and she looked me right in the eye and said,“ I love you more, because I had you” 

After more hugs and kisses, I left her there in her bed, with her asking, “Are you coming back tonight???”

Walking blindly down the Nursing Home hallway, I thought about how my son Dan was sooooo right….

I cry when she doesn’t know me, and I cry when she does.