Monday, November 14, 2011
My son doesn't understand what the big deal is. He tells me constantly how he could care less about computers. What he doesn't realize is that my computer was not just an electronic device. It was a life line to the outside world, a place I could go to find out how my cyber friends are. More than that, it was part of my daily ritual to come in from work, grab something to eat and drink and then get on line.
At my age, I do not like change. For days, I found myself sitting at my desk just staring at a blank monitor...trying again and again to get it to start up....Sort of like the doctor on the TV show Greys Anatomy. You know...The one who can't stand the thought of his patient dying on him..so he keeps pumping and pumping the patient's heart...hoping against hope, to hear that first faint heart beat....but like the doctor, I got nothing...just a flat line and the steady beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
Time of death.....Nov. 06, 2011.
So my daughter has loaned me her laptop, until I can afford to get another PC. God bless her heart, I think she knew I was on the verge of a melt down. lol
In other news...I went to see my mama this past Wednesday. Alzheimer's is taking it's toll on her. When I am talking to her, I catch myself looking deeply into her eyes..as if I am trying to find her in there somewhere. Sometimes it actually seems like there is a veil there..as if she is hiding behind it ...in a place where I can not go. It hurts me soooooooooo bad to see her this way. She is my mama...and she doesn't even recognize me 99 percent of the time. It is all I can do to choke back the tears that are constantly trying to escape while I am with her. I don't want her to see me crying, because she will not understand and it will upset her. The nursing home called Friday, saying they were going to up the amount of a vitamin and calorie supplement she is getting to three times a day. She is not eating enough. I had noticed when she went to supper this past Wednesday, that she just sat and looked at her food.
On happier news, Wyatt and will are growing like weeds. They are constantly amazing me with the things that they say and do and how quick they are in all ways. I rode to Ingles the other night with Amanda so I could sit in the car with them while she went in to get a few things. While sitting there, Wyatt said, "Maw-Maw, will you come home with me?" I said, Wyatt, I can't. I have to go to my house." "But Maw-Maw" he said, "My chickens miss you!" Now you have to understand, his mama and daddy have about a dozen chickens that they helped hatch and are now raising. I choked back my laughter and asked, "what did you say Wyatt?" He said, "Maw-Maw, I said my chickens miss you. They are crying for you! You need to come home with me so they will quit crying!"
You know what I think?
To have someone want you to go home with them soooooooo bad that they say that their chickens are crying for you....Well you know right then and there that you are LOVED beyond all measure....
God bless their little hearts...
GOD IS SO GOOD.
If God never gives me another blessing in my life...
He has already given me TWO of the greatest blessings in the world.
GOD BLESS YOU ALL.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
You know, they say we learn something new everyday and I believe this to be true, because the older I get, the more I realize that, although my younger self always thought she knew it all...
Take today for example. Me, Dan, Amanda, Kelvin and my two grandsons went to Homecoming at West End Baptist, which I am a member of. There is no way that my younger self would have had enough smarts to enjoy it as much as my older self did.
My younger self would have probably been keeping an eye out for the good looking guys that may have shown up with family or most likely wondering what I was going to do when I left...
But not this older self...
As soon as I opened the door of the Church, I was greeted by friends and family..As I proceeded on down the aisle, to get to the old wooden pew that I sit in up front, more and more folks offered their hands, their hugs and their smiles...Folks that have come into my life at various times for various reasons... and also hometown folks...old friends that I went to school with and grew up with, were there.
As I glanced over to tell Miss Thelma hello, I saw my distant cousin sitting there beside her...and I was so surprised and happy! Denise was the friend that I played jump rope, hop scotch and jackstones with in those long ago days of childhood. She is also the one that I use to spend the night with and get up and go to church with her and her parents on Sunday morning. Not only was her mom a good Christian woman, but she sure could cook good Sunday dinners too!
At the end of the aisle, near my pew, was Preacher Robinson...not only my pastor, but also a good friend...one who went fishing with Danny many a time and in the end, when God called my husband home, with a tear in his eye, he also preached his funeral.
Today, instead of having Church as usual at 11:00 am, it began at 10:00 with the Lanier Land Boys, a Gospel music group, that shook the rafters with their spirited singing and playing! Later on, Preacher Wayne Usry got up and gave a real good sermon about how tomorrow may be just one day too late to get to know Jesus.
Preacher Wayne use to preach at our Church many, many years ago...back when I was my younger self. During today's Homecoming, (back at this same little church he use to preach at), we celebrated his 40th year of preaching God's words! Wonder just how many souls he helped save in all those years? Don't you know that it has to be one of the best feelings... to know that you have led someone to Christ and ultimately to everlasting life...I know that when he steps through those pearly gates, that God will say;
" Well done, my good and faithful servant."
Sitting in front of my pew were my niece and her husband and their daughter....and also my niece's mom, Sue. Sue was my friend way back in school and ended up marrying my brother right before she graduated. After years together, in the end, their marriage didn't last...but our friendship did. There is nothing that I would not do for her...and visa-versa.
I hear the door to the Church open and in walks Sandra, my friend from Facebook! Later on, as I am sitting stuffing my mouth
~~now you know Southern Baptist ALWAYS have to eat at Homecomings~~
I glance up and there is Sandra taking my picture! I love that lady so much...I have the highest respect for her...after all the adversity that she has been through, ( She lost her husband not long ago and right afterwards was in a head on collision and very nearly lost her life ) she comes out of it smiling and laughing and making sure that you do too! She is such an awesome lady!
Watching my two grandsons put their little hands together and clap to the beat of the good gospel music...watching them run around and play outside afterwards...watching as Wyatt hunts for and finally finds "Miss Agnes" the preacher's wife...(and also a friend)...so she can give them a bolo paddle and ball, like she did many months ago when they came to church here...(That child has a memory like an elephant!) and just being with my daughter and son together in Church like in days gone by....had some very powerful emotions running around inside my soul.
Yep...my younger self probably would have missed picking up on all the love that was in that old church today...
But my Older self didn't.
"Three things will last forever--faith, hope, and love--and the greatest of these is love. "
1 Corinthians 13:13
Thank YOU GOD for all YOUR many blessings on me.
GOD BLESS YOU ALL.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
It was a beautiful morning,with bright clear blue skies as Margaret Seeliger and her husband Bruce left their Manhattan apartment and stood in line to vote in New York's primary election. It was a sunny day and all the airports were reporting 100% visibility.
After voting, they would have walked on toward work together as usual, but Bruce had a doctor's appointment. So this morning, they kissed goodbye at the corner of 76th Street and Third Avenue. Bruce stood watching as Margaret boarded the train that would take her to her job and unknowingly, to her fate. You see, only thirty-four years old, Margaret Seeliger was employed as Head of the Student Health Division of Anon Insurance.
Which happened to be located on the 100th floor at 2 World Trade Center in New York.
Margaret had boundless energy, and lived her life to the fullest. She felt and often stated that "you never know how long you have here on this earth" so she was always busy. Many of her weekends were spent in Buffalo visiting with her mom, who had fallen victim to Alzheimer's. Margaret was a very important part of her mom's care, attending to even the smallest details for her.
Since her mother was no longer able to do so, Margaret had taken over the role of being "Grandma" to her 11 nieces and nephews. She and her husband Bruce were constantly traveling to soccer games, or school plays in Rochester, California, Philadelphia and Atlanta. Looking so much like her own mom, the children had even began calling her "Grandma".
On some weekends, she and Bruce would catch a flight to Atlanta to visit with her sister Beth and her three children. It was on one of those last visits that Margaret asked Beth to hold on to the crib and baby clothes that she had in her basement...secretly confiding that she wanted to start trying to get pregnant that November.
November never came for Margaret.
On that bright and beautiful morning of September 11, 2001, Bin Laden ordered an attack on AMERICA, killing thousands of innocent people as planes crashed into the the Pentagon, an open field and… The World Trade Center Towers.
Where Margaret worked.
I can not imagine the fear and the panic that had to be running rampant through the buildings as people tried to flee to safety, but Margaret Seeliger bravely gave up her space on the last over crowded elevator that would leave the 100th floor of 2 World Trade Center… So that two of her colleagues could make it out.
MARGARET SEELIGER DIED A TRUE HERO.
So, Bin Laden…MAY YOU FOREVER ROT IN THE HELL THAT WE HAVE SENT YOU TO. YOU DESTROYED OUR TOWERS, YOU MURDERED OUR PEOPLE, BUT YOU DID NOT DETROY THAT WHICH HAS ALWAYS MADE AMERICA THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD…
LOVE, COMPASSION, LOYALTY, BRAVERY AND OUR BELIEF IN THE ONE AND ONLY TRUE GOD.
God bless you Margaret Seeliger and May Our Almighty God rest your soul….May His Holy Spirit continue to bring comfort to your family and friends.
YOU WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN.
FOR WE WILL NEVER FORGET
GOD BLESS YOU ALL
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
I went to see my mama today. I found her at the end of the hall that leads to her room. She was sitting in her wheelchair, staring intently out the glass door that looks out onto the parking lot.
I came up to her and touched her arm and asked, " What are you doing mama?" She turned to me with the fading blue eyes that don't recognize her youngest child anymore and said, " Hi Mam! I was just sitting here, waiting...My mama is suppose to come and get me today and take me home with her." I swallowed hard and said, "She is? Well that will be nice." As she happily talked about getting to go home again, I quickly got behind her wheel chair and began rolling her back to her room.
The nurses say that she can not find her room anymore and that worries me all the time. What if she wants to lie down, or just be in her room? I know the nurses will take her there, if they aren't too busy, but what if she doesn't think to ask?
When I get her to her room, I give her the little goodies bag I have brought with me. Like a child, she loves the little treats I bring her. Sometimes it is a few cookies, sometimes peanut butter and cheese crackers, sometimes candy.Today it was a couple of soft oatmeal raisin cookies and a few animal crackers. She immediately took half of them out and placed them on her little eating table there in front of me. Then she began begging me to eat. Back on Horseshoe Bend, she never ate until all her children had eaten....old habits die hard.
The whole time she was munching on her cookies, she was asking me to come live with her and her mama; my (deceased)grandmother. She was explaining how we would have such a good time living together.
It seems that the further my mama goes into the Alzheimer's, the further back her mind takes her. The years that her mind has taken her to now are way before my time. So I am no longer in her world now. Not as her baby girl anyway. I am "Mam"...just some lady who comes around to see her...and this breaks my heart.
I busy myself doing things, so I can try to forget about the lump in my throat. I start by brushing her hair. Then I began clipping her fingernails and end by changing her sweater to a newer one...a cleaner one. I am thinking about all the times she did these very same things for me. The whole time I am fixing her up, she is begging me to come live with her and her mama. No matter how hard I try to change the subject, she is having none of it. Like a merry-go-round, we go around and around with it...over and over.
After a while, I tell her I have to leave. She asks me when I will be back and I tell her soon...As I am walking out of her room, she calls for me to come back..and I do. She looks at me a minute and she says very quietly; " If I'm not here when you get back, it is because I have gone home with mama".
I am trying my very best not to cry before I get out of her room. Just as I get back to the door to leave, she yells, " HEY!!! You know what??"
I stop again, turn around, smile and say, "What Mama?"
She smiles the brightest smile and says, "Tommie is alive!"
( Tommie is her brother who passed away in the early 60's)
My mama...the lady her gave me life..who fed me, clothed me, washed my little body in a tin tub...stayed with me during my many sicknesses and stood by me all my life.... Has left me to go somewhere back in time.
Like a little child, I want to beg, "please don't leave me mama"...I want to wail and cry and throw a hissy fit..I want my mama to come back....
Listening to her talk about where her and her mama's home is, she has to be somewhere in the 1930's.
A place in time where she still has her brother and sisters, and her mama...A place in time where life was simple and good.
I love you my mama.
GOD BLESS YOU ALL.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
President: Barack Obama
Annual Base Salary: $400,000 (FYI: this amount was set in the George W. Bush term)
Postmaster General: Patrick R. Donahoe
Annual Base Salary: $245,000
Vice President: Joseph Biden
Annual Base Salary: $227,300
Speaker of the House: John Boehner : $223,500
Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff: Admiral Michael Mullen
Annual Base Salary: $220,734.36
Chief Justice of Supreme Court John G. Roberts
Annual Base Salary: $217,400
Chairman of the Federal Reserve: Benjamin Bernanke
Annual Base Salary: $199,700
Senate Majority Leader: Harry Reid
Annual Base Salary: $193,400
Secretary of Treasury Timothy Geithner
Annual Base Salary: $191,300
Secretary of State: Hillary Clinton
Annual Base Salary: $186,600
total : $ 2,304,934.00
(that’s two million,three hundred four thousand, nine hundred thirty-four dollars….PER YEAR)
Other federal officials, such as the Vice President, Cabinet members, and members of Congress do not have fixed salaries, but rather ones that can increase annually. ( unlike minimum wage, that goes for years and years without changing ) document published by the Congressional Research Service called Salaries of Federal Officials by Barbara L. Schwemle [CRS Report for Congress 98-53 GOV]. http://www.ipl.org/div/farq/pensionFARQ.html
The current salary (2011) for rank-and-file members of the House and Senate is $174,000 per year.
Congress: Leadership Members' Salary (2011)
Leaders of the House and Senate are paid a higher salary than rank-and-file members.
Majority Party Leader - $193,400
Minority Party Leader - $193,400
Speaker of the House - $223,500
Majority Leader - $193,400
Minority Leader - $193,400
***living-adjustment (COLA) increase takes effect annually.
Add the fact that Congress’ pay and benefits are *exempt from government shutdown” … i.e., they continue collecting their $174,000 paycheck and choke-a-horse perks package no matter what happens after the government’s funding runs out next Friday.
Also add that members of Congress automatically draw a percentage of their salary for life after leaving office. That pension ranges from a minimum of 28% up to 80%, depending on their length of time in office. (Note: 28% of $174,000 is $48,720.)
Also add that every member of Congress is paid per diem, free travel, free postage, free health club/spa memberships, free retirement (i.e., they don’t pay in), and all expenses such as cell phones, meals, bottled water, clothing allowances – even shoe polishing – are all paid by you and I.
Also add that Congress is exempt from whatever health care requirements or Medicare/Medicaid cuts they impose on taxpayers because they gave themselves the choice to “opt in” on public health care or take the taxpayer-funded premium plan offered to all Congressional officials.
Retirement Benefits http://www.thecapitol.net/FAQ/payandperqs.htm
Personal Staff Allowances: Representatives' staff allowances can be used to hire up to 18 permanent and four non-permanent aides divided between the members' Washington and district offices. The maximum salary allowed to Senate personal staffers in 2003 was $150,159
Expense Allowances for members, kept separate from personal staff allowances, cover domestic travel, stationery, newsletters, overseas postage, telephone and telegraph service, and other expenses in Washington and in the members' state or congressional districts.
The Franking Privilege, a valuable perquisite, allows a member to mail official letters and packages under the members' signature without charges for postage. (See Congressional Deskbook, § 5.50, "Franking Privilege")
Foreign Travel by members for the conduct of government business is financed through special allowances. These funds can come from various sources.
Domestic Travel (to and from District/State)
House: Included in office expenses is a minimum amount of $9,700 (2003), with additional funding based on a formula that uses the distance from Washington, DC to the farthest point in the Congressional district from Washington.
Our national debt is more than $14 trillion dollars at the time of this writing.
Their are 365 men in the House Of Representatives and 70 women for a total of 435.
There are 86 men and 14 women in the senate.
This comes out to 535 annual pay checks @ $174,000 per check
not counting perks….which add up into the millions/ billions.
Want to do some multiplication ?
Now, I don’t have a college education, but it seems to me like the USA ’s borrowing the majority of the money…
Just to pay the damn help!!!
GOD BLESS YOU ALL!
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Talk about shocking.
The verdict in the Casey Anthony trial today has shocked our nation. We are horrified and we are, once again, mourning the death of a beautiful little three year old baby girl…a child who died and was left in a swamp, in a plastic garbage bag…
In a graveyard for pets.
In my personal opinion, I believe there is a lot more to the story than we may ever know. I believe that there were more people involved in this child’s death than just Casey. I can not believe she drove this child’s body around in the trunk of her car for a month with NO ONE smelling the odor of decomposition..until her car was picked up! She had no job, she had to be staying SOMEWHERE with SOMEONE…so why didn’t they smell the odor?
So many, many questions with no answers…not truthful ones anyway. I feverishly hope someday, someone, will come forward with the TRUTH.
HE ALWAYS KNOWS THE TRUTH.
We may try to hide it from HIM , but we can’t.
God has been dealing with this since the beginning of time. This goes all the way back to when Cain killed Abel....Cain too, tried to hide it from God, but
God knew and He called him on it.
What is wrong with the people in this world? Our children are suppose to be fed, to be clothed, to be loved, and to be protected…How hard is that for parents to do? There are so many,many little children missing and/or dead now. What about little Haleigh Cummings, who was also from Florida and was never found? Or Madeline; the little girl who ended up missing when her parents left her in a motel room while they partied? And don't forget, they never got anyone for the murder of little Joan Benet Ramsey.
This is just to mention a very few.
There is a status going around Facebook now, that is asking for people to “KEEP THE PORCH LIGHT ON FOR CAYLEE” at 9pm tonight….
But, I say;
Keep it on tonight for ALL the little children who are still missing, and murdered.
We can also pray and be thankful that God has the final judgment…because HE says;
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
GOD BLESS YOU ALL
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
One of the things I love about little children is that it doesn’t take a whole lot of anything to make them happy…
Daddy cutting our watermelon!
Take Wyatt and William for instance, the first just turned three years old and the latter just turned eighteen months old. I have noticed that there are certain things that Wyatt just has to do when he came to see me. This child is sure enough a little creature of habit. He has to get my small two step ladder and put it in the living room. You would be amazed at just how many things that child can find to do on that one little ladder! He will climb up it, he will turn around and climb down it. He will sit on the top of it and he will turn around and slide off the back of it. This can go on for hours, as he neglects the very many so called real toys overflowing his and Will’s toy box.
William with a piece of melon as big as he is!
He has to play with his Wee-Dough; which is the name Wyatt gave Play-Dough. I know he can pronounce the correct name very well, because he will each and every time I ask him to. Why he calls it Wee-Dough only he knows.
Wyatt tearing into his piece of melon!
But the very best thing Wyatt loves??? Well, from the time he was born, that child has loved to be on my bed. The thrill of his little life is to go into “Maw-Maw’s bedroom”. Since he was old enough to hold a baby rattle in his little fist, I have kept a very small wicker basket of toys to amuse him in my room and since he was old enough to sit and walk, he has loved getting on my bed and having that basket placed in front of him.
Someone’s been eating the blackberries mama picked!
Some of the toys are the very same ones that have been in that basket since day one; His Glow Worm that plays tunes, a baby doll that cries unless you give it a bottle, and some small plastic blocks. Yet, to this day, he will take out all the toys and carefully examine and play with each and every one as if it is the very first time .
After he has done this, he will slide off the side of the bed and climb up on my old storage ottoman that sits by the bedside table. He will then grab the pull chain on my small table lamp and turn it on. Wyatt loves LIGHT…always has. When he goes into any room, he will tell you right quick, “turn the light on”, no matter how light and bright the room may be.
Wyatt on his little stool
As he pulls the chain on that little lamp, he will turn and smile the biggest smile at me and say, “Maw-Maw (in sing-song voice) the light is COLD!”
This comes from the time when he was around 18 months old and I told him not to touch the light because it was hot…having forgotten that I had replaced the old bulb with a new florescent one. Well, of course Wyatt just had to touch that light to see if it truly was hot and actually found out to his delight that it was cold.
So, one of my grandson’s first sentences was,“MAW-MAW, THE LIGHT IS COLD!” and trust me, he hasn’t forgotten it. He always laughs so hard, as if it is the funniest thing that his Maw-Maw was wrong!!!
Wyatt on top of the couch!
Yesterday, when Amanda brought him and William over to see me, I was busy finishing up with the washing of my living room and kitchen curtains. After pausing to fix Wyatt and William a little breakfast, I began hanging the curtains back up, sharing the little two step ladder with the boys, being careful not to step on them on the way down! As soon as I was through, sure enough, Wyatt asked to go into my room.
Now days, even little brother knows the drill! William went straight to the bed and held his little arms up to me to be picked up and placed on Maw-Maw’s bed, while big brother climbed up all by himself…where they both carefully took each and every toy out of that old wicker basket and examined them.
William in serious thought!
As Wyatt slid off the bed and headed for the ottoman to pull the light chain on, baby brother Will grabbed the baby doll and tried to stuff the bottle into it’s mouth. When he couldn’t get the bottle into it’s mouth to shut it up, he picked the baby doll up and put it on his shoulder, patting it’s ( up-side-down) back!! Sure enough, only moments later, Wyatt pulled the light chain on, and looked at me, laughing his head off saying “Maw-Maw…(in sing-song voice) the light is COLD!”
Nope, it doesn’t take that much to make little children happy…some warm clothes in the winter, cool clothes in the summer, good home cooked food, something cool to drink when they are thirsty and most importantly; plenty of LOVE …
With big bear hugs thrown in for good measure.
Is it possible to look at this picture of these two little angels God blessed us with and NOT cry???
I believe that we come into this world with an inner voice telling us what is important, what will make us happy and what is comforting.
We may lose sight of that as we grow up, but fortunately we tend to revert back to it..
As we go into our senior years.
GOD BLESS YOU ALL.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Amanda and Kelvin held a birthday party for Wyatt this past Sunday. Amanda baked a sheet cake and then she and Kelvin decorated it. They made it look like a tractor pull! Which was right up Wyatt's alley! That child loves tractors!
He has a cold, but he still had fun.
Every time someone would come in carrying a gift, Wyatt would excitedly tell me, “Maw-Maw; my presents are coming!!! ” He was so thrilled and had to wait such a long time before getting to open up those glorious presents! So he kept trying to sneak a little bitty bit of paper off a present without his mama seeing him! He would pinch a teeny tiny piece off and wad it up in his little hand, and run throw it in the trash can! And William???
Well, he was running around trying to feed their new little kitty cat to their new German Shepherd pup!!!
“Finally! I get to open Maw-Maw’s present!!”
It did my heart good to see my grandchildren Sunday, but I had a dark cloud hidden deep in my heart. You see, when I woke up Sunday morning, I did like I always do, I looked on Facebook . The very first post I saw was one of a dear friend… One who was there for me before and after Danny died…
My friend, Lori is the type that takes care of everything and everybody. She works without ceasing for her family. She loves her children and grandchildren and puts them above and beyond anything…including herself. Her first post literally screamed at me; “Wes not breathing” And then, “dear God take me, not Weston” and then, “Weston is gone.”
It was then that my heart stopped and my mind absolutely refused to accept what my eyes were seeing. I tell you, the illogical thought of “Surely this must be some kind of new and cruel hacking/spamming joke.” kept running through my brain. When the words of her posts began to finally sink in, the words that came bubbling up like a volcano from my very soul were; “Oh God…Oh God…Oh Heavenly Father…. nooooooooooo…nooooooooo”
You see, my friend’s two month old grandson, Weston… a little cherub… a beautiful little baby boy.…One who had been fine Saturday when she posted a video of him cooing …was gone. Just that fast. Gone. God be with them. I can not begin to imagine the pain they are feeling …but I do know the pain that I am feeling for them. I pray that God grant them all Shalom.
I bought a pork roast yesterday. This morning when I got up, it was calling to me from within the refrigerator. It told me it wanted to be part of the bigger story. It wanted to become a huge pot of Brunswick stew.
Okay…so the pork roast really didn’t call out to me…but I just knew it did want to become part of the Brunswick stew I made today, and it got it’s wish! Dan had been dropping hints for weeks that he had no more stew in the freezer, sooooo ….
After making a quick trip to Moon’s Grocery to get some more chicken, corn, tomatoes and grab some of their containers…( I don’t like their tops!) It took me from 7:30 this morning until 3:00 pm to finish cooking all of it. I let it sit and cool down, while I drove Dan out to the Publix shopping center to get a hair cut! When I came back home, I ladled it up into the containers. I ended up with 10 quarts and 10 pints and two bowls that held a pint and a half each.
Guess what we had for supper??
Freezing it to put in the big freezer
You know, I try to make Dan some stew about once a year and each time I do, I have even more respect for my bosses than I did before. They do this every week and let me tell you, they make a heck of a lot more than I did today. Just ONE of their aluminum pots hold more stew than I could make in three days!!
My weary body could tell you right now just how long ,hard, and hot work making Brunswick Stew is …
But I made my young-un happy today…and that makes up for everything.
Until next time…
GOD BLESS YOU ALL.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
My back yard: 4/19/2011
I have always wished I had a back deck to sit out on in the evenings!
If I am going to keep a journal, then I sure as heck need to be writing more often in it! I am mad at me. So many, many days have gone by ( nearly a month!) and they are now lost, all because I was just too lazy to write it down.
Back in the old days of AOL JOURNALS, there were so many of us writing that it was hard to keep up with each other. Tonight I went over to check on some of my fellow bloggers and some of them are not even there anymore.
There was one lady who’s journal was about her sister having Alzheimer's ; “WATCHING MY SISTER DISAPPEAR” …The last post she wrote was around two years ago and it was titled; “John’s Turn Now”. It was about how her husband now had the same disease! I sure wish I knew how she was..but there is no email…nothing I can follow up on to find her.
Now most of us have went over to Facebook and we tend to forget our journals. Some of my old AOL JOURNAL friends are now on my Facebook friends list, so at least I can keep up with them. One of the best things Danny ever gave me was the computer for my Christmas present a few years before he passed away. I don’t know what I would have done all those hundreds of nights I couldn’t sleep after he died, if it had not been for my online friends. They were there and they kept me going.
Wyatt in his rocker: 5/08/2011
Will on my front porch : 4/29/2011
Wyatt and William are growing so fast…too fast. I often tell Amanda she needs to enjoy every minute of them being small because before she knows it, they will be grown and leaving home… But no one can prepare a mother for that empty nest feeling, it is something one has to learn themselves. Now I know how my mama felt when we all left.
Mama : on Mother’s day, 2011
My mama is doing as okay as possible, but Alzheimer’s is taking her farther and farther away from me…Most times she doesn’t recognize me as her daughter, but will recognize my name and think I am an aid at the nursing home. On days that he goes with me , she seems to think that Dan (my son) is my husband…It is only when I point at the picture on her wall of Danny that she remembers “Danny Noggle” …and that only lasts for a few moments. This breaks my heart every time…She loved Danny so much.
Dan cut the grass for me last week and I didn’t even have to help! Wyatt, William and Amanda was here, so we sat outside and watched him. When Dan would get close to my roses and such, Wyatt would start yelling, “STAY AWAY FROM MAW-MAW’S BUSHES!!” and no…he didn’t hear me saying that either! Pretty smart for a two year old, ( soon to be three) huh??
It was really hot today and is suppose to get hotter. I dread next month’s electric bill because I have had the air on for a while now. Our water/sewage bill doubled this month because of new City Hall rates. Mine was right at $140.00. I don’t know how we low income folks can keep making it what with EVERYTHING going up…groceries, utilities, cable..not to even mention GAS… But God has still been so good to us here in Greene County. Though we have had storm damage, we have not had the devastation that Missouri has had by the killer tornadoes…
I pray that we never ever have to experience that.
GOD BLESS YOU ALL.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
With my television on yesterday evening and all through the night, I watched in horror as tornado after tornado ripped through Georgia’s sister state, ALABAMA.
It was almost like an evilness had decided that it was going to destroy and kill everything in it’s path. Then, once it started, it couldn’t get enough of the devastation it was causing…
So it kept right on going.
I watched for hours as the tornadoes tore and ripped up Alabama. In the end, it still wouldn’t be satisfied, even with all the destruction it had caused.
So, in the darkness of night, the evilness began it’s deadly trek into the state of Georgia.
Just like General Sherman, who told Grant that he would, “make Georgia howl”, so too did the evilness, as it cut it’s path of destruction from the northern tip to the southern part of our state.
Around 12:30 am, Greene County, Georgia came under a tornado WARNING. Not a watch..but a true WARNING. Which meant that there was rotation on the ground.
AND IT WAS HEADED TOWARD US.
I prayed and prayed …and prayed some more. Not only for myself and my family…but also for my friends and their families.
For over an hour, we were in the middle of hail, lightning, wild roaring wind and torrential rain…
But no tornado.
I ended up going to bed at 5:15 am this morning and got right back up at 7:00am.
While cooking Dan’s breakfast, I again turned the TV on and my heart ached as I looked at the devastation that lay in Alabama and Georgia. Alabama Gov. Robert Bentley said his state had confirmed 194 deaths. At least 280 people were killed across six states — more than two-thirds of them in Alabama, where large cities bore the half-mile-wide scars the twisters left behind.There were 33 deaths in Mississippi, 33 in Tennessee, 14 in Georgia, five in Virginia and one in Kentucky. Hundreds if not thousands of people were injured — 600 in Tuscaloosa, Alabama alone.
All day at work, for over ten hours, I worried about those I had not heard from since the tornadoes.
This evening I came home and found that one of my friends from Alabama had commented on Facebook and finally…blessedly, knew that at least she and her husband were safe.
It was like a dam had burst…I sat there and cried like a baby.
It could be that I am just getting soft in my old age, or it could be the hormone pills I now take, or it could be the fact that I only had one and a half hours sleep this morning before I had to get up and go on in to work.
But what I’d like to think it is…
That, as I have aged, I have finally learned what is most important in life.
Loved ones…. family ….. friends.
And the fact that they are SAFE and still with us.
WE ARE SO BLESSED.
Thank You God.
GOD BLESS YOU ALL.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Last weekend, after work, I was sitting at the drive through window at Zaxby’s waiting on my order, when out of the side door, a little boy and girl came running out. Right behind them were (what I took to be) their parents. They all were laughing and chattering away as they strode toward their jeep, which also had a boat in tow. The dad popped open the rear jeep hatch and the children climbed in eagerly as their parents, laughing and talking amongst themselves, went on around to the front. As I sat there watching them, it hit me;
This use to be us.
One summer when we went to Myrtle Beach, just as we finally pulled up to our motel, our car battery died! A nice couple saw us having trouble and jumped us off, so we could go get a new one. I remembered how that dead battery didn’t spoil our time, and how we laughed all the way to the store. The rest of the vacation has faded into all the other times we went to Myrtle Beach, disappearing like the little wisps of steam that come up from a hot cup of coffee and quickly fade away.
But our laughter still plays on.
I miss those times. When you have children, you are so busy raising them that you don’t notice how fast the time is moving, do you? One minute, it seems we are bringing them home from the hospital, the next we are sending them off to school and before we even know it…they are gone from our homes.
Oh, if I could go back and know then what I know now… I would try to hold on to every minute of every single day. I wouldn’t be so worried about what I needed to get done around the house.
I would take more time to hug my kids and hold them close.
Time goes forward .. it doesn’t come back.
GOD BLESS YOU ALL.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Today I got up early; well, earlier than usual for a work day. As I walked the pups, I noticed how foggy it was outside and wondered if it would rain.
DANNY AT EMORY 2005
Later, I came inside, cooked breakfast and afterwards, took a shower. I put my clothes on, and went to my bedroom to get my purse and keys.
I keep most of the sweet stuff and drinks in my bedroom, because my son Dan is a diabetic. When he started raiding the sweets while I was at work and his sugar begin to spike, I had the old doorknob taken off and a new one with a lock put on!
So, this morning, I got my purse, shut and locked my bedroom door,and went into the kitchen. I was going to get my R.C. Cola out of the refrigerator to take to work with me! Before I got to the refrigerator though, it dawned on me that I didn’t have my keys. I looked everywhere and couldn't find them, Then it hit me...I had left my keys in my bedroom!
IN MY LOCKED BEDROOM!
I tired using a screwdriver, a butter knife, and even some old keys to no avail! I was just fixing to take the screwdriver and get my hammer and knock the pins out of the hinges, when I thought to go outside and try to go through the window. I got the old plastic lawn chair and pulled it up to the window. I stepped up on it and was just too short to get to the window. So I got the little plastic table and sat it on the chair. I stepped up on it…and it sank to the bottom of the chair…but I was high enough to at least get the screen to unlock and come off the window and then raise the wooden window up. The only trouble was, I couldn’t get my leg up high enough, nor push myself up high enough to get in the window!
So I called Dan…who was laughing at me! He kept saying, Mama if you hadn’t put that lock on the door, you wouldn’t be having to do this!!! Oh, I wanted to pinch his head off!
Did I mention that by this time it was ALSO RAINING???
Dan finally got through the window and went straight to my desk where I keep my keys and they WERE NOT THERE. So, after I finally go the window put back together and went inside, I set about looking for my keys AGAIN.
Would you believe they were sitting right up under my purse???? Dan thought it was hilarious, but not me…
I have always said that my legs are way too short, and today it proved true, because I sure wanted to kick my own butt!
Because, after all that…..
I left my dang R.C. Cola at home.
GOD BELSS YOU ALL.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
THE FOLLOWING IS A REPRINT OF A JOURNAL POST I WROTE ON Friday, February 17, 2006…with pictures added.
WORK DAY 02/17/2006
Feb. 17, 2006- There were so many people at the Bar-B-Que today. . I met people that I did not know, that knew Danny. Even people from out of state came in to eat and tell me they knew Danny and are praying for us....It is all so overwhelming.....Danny was a simple man, a country boy, and yet there was a lot more to him.........
IN OUR EARLY YEARS
I remember very little about the funeral....I remember the two songs that were sung by a local gentleman that sings and plays the piano at weddings and funerals...a man that we know well, a man that had just lost his wife a month before....He played and sang, as always, beautifully....the one hymn that Danny wanted; "I Have a Mansion, Just Over The Hill Top" and the one I chose; "Wind Beneath My Wings"...( because He WAS and STILL IS MY HERO).....
Danny at the gazebo in Greensboro
I remember looking in the church over to my right at all the Ga. State Patrol and the out of town Oconee County Deputy that were honorary pallbearers that were seated in the little alcove...I remember seeing that Oconee County Deputy break down and cry like a baby......because she was one of "OUR ADOPTED" ....She has stood the pain of being maced and tazered (so she could feel the same pain she could inflict on criminals)....but I have never seen her cry like she did that Thursday...You see, she loved Danny like a daddy....and me like a mama.
Danny and his nephew Troy the last of 2005.
The Ga. State Patrol were Danny's friends...some he went hunting and fishing with...The preacher of our Church that did the eulogy, was also a fishing buddy....Preachers, from all the other local churches were at the service...some having to stand among the many that were packed in the basement....
We had several "adopted " children at the service...Me and Danny could only have 2 children, but our children brought home children from their schools and other various places and somehow or the other, we always ended up "mama" and "pop" to all of them....They all showed back up the day Danny died and came over everyday to offer help, comfort, prayers and love.
Danny was also a father figure to our many nieces and nephews...teaching them how to fish, how to hunt, how to clean what you shoot or catch.....We would gather them up and have Easter Egg hunts, Trick or treat, movies.... they were the kids we could not have and they loved us....Six of the nephews were the pall bearers.
Helping Charity find the eggs.
I heard today about how there was not enough room in the church for all the people that came...that the entire basement was full, and the stairwells, and the Sunday school rooms and the Choir pews.....and there were still people standing outside..in the pouring down freezing rain.....and then there were still people that had went on to the grave yard to wait....
This was left AFTER we took 99% of the flowers home. Every room in my house was full…and the front porch and yards too.
And it really brings home the fact that it doesn't matter how much money you have, it doesn't matter how many diplomas you have, it doesn't matter what brand name clothes you wear, nor how perfect your smile is.........My Danny had $40.00 in his bill folder when he died, and a depleted savings account because of all the drugs he had to take....My Danny never made it past the 6th grade, he had to go to work in the cotton mill, but he was the smartest man I have ever known.....My Danny only wore cheap Rustler Jeans, and Wal-Mart tennis shoes that cost $9.00 a pair..and would wear them completely out before he would get anymore.
My Danny, bless his heart, did not have ANY TEETH because they pulled them before the open heart surgery...I once asked him at the BBQ….." Danny, are you embarrassed to talk and smile at these people with no teeth?"and I will never forget what he replied, "Honey, it is not what is in your mouth, it is what comes out of your mouth ."
At Wilmington N.C. on the Naval ship.
What really matters is how you treat others......I heard these words over and over again…"DANNY WAS ALWAYS HIMSELF, DANNY WAS NOT FAKE, DANNY ALWAYS HAD A SMILE FOR EVERYONE, DANNY WAS A KIND AND DECENT MAN, DANNY WAS SO BRAVE AND STRONG; NEVER COMPLAINING, AND WE DID NOT REALIZE HE WAS IN SO MUCH PAIN, DANNY NEVER MET A STRANGER, DANNY WAS NEVER TOO TIRED OR HURT TOO MUCH TO HELP ANYONE"....AND THE ONE I LIKE THE MOST…"DANNY WAS A SPECIAL PERSON"
ALL THE GOLD IN THE WORLD COULD NOT BUY THE PRIDE THAT I HAVE TONIGHT IN MY HEART FOR MY DANNY.
He truly knew what LIFE was all about.
THIS WAS OUR FAMILY
*** Here it is five years to the day Danny died on Jan. 29, 2006 and Today I was at the BBQ again...and every time I walked by the same drink machines out front (where he started having his last heart attack that day) I could still see him there in my mind.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again..if you still by the grace of GOD have that special someone that you love…TELL THEM what they mean to you…TONIGHT.
Tomorrow may not come.
GOD BLESS YOU ALL.
Posted by Carlene Noggle at 10:44 PM
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Okay…I am ready for this snow and ice to disappear! I have places to go, things to do, and … bills to pay!
Back in my younger days, I would have been in my glory with all this white stuff Mother Nature threw at us this week! I use to wait anxiously every winter…wondering if we would get snow and if we did, how much. I couldn’t wait to see the first of the softly falling little flakes hitting the ground! I use to have so much fun building a snowman with Danny and the kids, having snowball fights on Spring Street with my sister-in-laws and their families, and then going home to make snow ice cream!
My most favorite thing to do though, was to climb into the car or truck with Danny and go wandering around the county, just admiring the beauty of the land and trees, and the old barns. To me, Main street in Greensboro always looks like a Christmas card when there is snow on everything …
Ever notice how much nicer things look covered in freshly fallen snow?
When I had Dan, I was 18 years old and so naive…I thought anytime you wanted a baby, all you had to do was just try and nine months or so down the road, there would be another baby to love. Well…it didn’t happen like that for me. After losing two, and going to fertility specialists, I learned that there was very little chance of me ever carrying a child full term again if I got pregnant. It was a very long ten years later that I found out I was pregnant… and this time, praise God, it went full term!
My doctor told me he had a way to determine the date of delivery and my baby would be born on January 12, 1982. Well one night, I dreamed that she would be born on Christmas Eve or Dec. 28, of 1981….and was shown in my dream, that the baby would be a healthy little girl! When I told my doctor about my dream on our next visit, he looked at me like I had lost my mind!! Then he just laughed and said, “If you had wanted a little tax deduction, you should have started sooner!” and laughed at his own little joke.
But the joke was on him…she was born on Dec. 28, 1981 and she was a little girl!!! You should have seen his face when I reminded him of my dream the night Amanda was born!!!
And get this…..Had I came in labor on Jan.12, 1982…I wouldn’t have been able to even get to Wilkes County Hospital, because Green County and the surrounding areas were hit with a snow and ice storm similar to the one we have now!
GOD IS SO GOOD!
GOD BLESS YOU ALL.