Monday, October 13, 2014



My mama cut the  poem below out of a newspaper of some kind. It may have been  The Market Bulletin , because she use to get that in the mail once a week. She also got The Atlanta Journal and Constitution. She was a voracious reader and read anything she got her hands on. So I don't know which paper for sure, but I do remember that she use to have it taped to her refrigerator for so long that it turned yellow. I asked her once why she liked it so much and she told me that it reminded her of her mama. She also told me that one day it would remind me of her.

Well, that was a long, long time ago...back in the days before home  computers and such, so I used my old trusty typewriter and made a copy of it and later on even laminated it for her. It remained on her refrigerator for years. When she went into the Nursing Home, I took that poem off the refrigerator and brought it home with me.

Now it stays on my refrigerator…..


She always leaned to watch for us
Anxious if we were late
In winter by the window
In summer by the gate.

And though we mocked her tenderly
Who had such foolish care
The long way home would seem more safe
Because she waited there.

Her thoughts were all so full of us
She never would forget
And so I think that's where she is
She must be watching yet.

Waiting til we come home to her
Anxious if we are late...
Watching from Heaven's window
Leaning from Heaven's Gate.

The longer I live, the more I realize how very smart my mama actually was.  I know without a doubt, that my mama is there, at Heaven's Gate, waiting and watching for me to come home.

Thank You Lord for blessing me with a caring and loving mother.


Sunday, September 21, 2014


          DAN AND LITTLE ROY LEWIS 2011 (3)

My son Dan doesn’t ask for much.

If I take him to Walmart or to Ingles every week, that makes him happy. Yeah, I get frustrated on having to go to Wally World every week. These all day shopping trips he loves are wearing me down here lately. Considering that the only other thing he has to look forward to daily is watching Boomerang TV with the old cartoons on it, I figure that’s not too much for him to ask. So, as long as my old bones hold out, as long as my 18 year old car holds up and as long as I can afford the gas, I guess a weekly shopping(looking) trip is not such a big deal. What gets me is, he never ends up buying anything but bottled water or diet drinks!

It is actually the going and looking he likes.

Dan does have a bucket list of bigger wishes. Things he has always wanted to do, such as these in no certain order…
1. Go to a Braves game….
Before Danny died, we managed to take him to a couple.
2. Go to a Ga. Basket Ball Game…
We managed to take him to a couple of those too.
3. Go to Six Flags…Yep, been there and done that….several times.

There are a few other more things on his wish list that he has or hasn’t done, but the one thing he has constantly talked about for years is that he wanted to go to a Georgia Bulldog Game. He has mentioned it from time to time and mentioned it again a few weeks ago. Dan, being a true Bulldog fan, has watched every game he could on TV and heaven forbid that they happen to lose. That boy  will fuss for two days! 

          09202014ga game12

I have wondered for a while now how I could get this wish of his to come true. I have to work on Saturdays and I do not want to even drive in Athens on a Game day, much less actually park and walk a long ways to the stadium!

When I mentioned to my daughter about how much Dan wanted to go, my son-in-law, who is also a Ga. fan, volunteered to take Dan; if and when I could come up with enough money for the ticket. Well, about a week ago, I bought two tickets to the GEORGIA  VS  TROY Football Game. One for Dan and one for my son-in-law. For a week now I have prayed that it wouldn’t rain on game day. I also prayed that the Bulldogs won!

Yesterday my sweet son-in-law helped me make one of Dan’s big dreams come true. Dan got to go to a Georgia Bulldog Game for the very first time!

           09202014ga game6

It didn’t rain and the Bulldogs slaughtered Troy 66-0. ( Ha-ha, I realize now that maybe I should have asked for a tighter game, but hey, they won!!!Dan is still talking about what all he saw, how good the band sounded and how much fun he and his brother-in-law had. He will probably still be talking about it for months from now, but that’s okay. I think I am about as happy as my son is.

          09202014ga game9


Thank you God.


Sunday, September 14, 2014

How I learned about God.


My mama taught me about God.

Oh, I went to church and learned my Bible lessons. Mama use to play the piano there every once in a while. Sometimes my daddy came, sometimes he would go fishing. I also went to Sunday School. Then came Bible School with my little friends during every summer. Oh we had so much fun during those times. (I thank God my grandchildren’s other Gamma takes them to Bible School at her church every summer, so they too can hear about God.)

What I am talking about is how grateful I am that my mama used to talk to me about God and the Bible. She taught me this little blessing; “God is great, God is Good, let us thank him for our food, by HIS hands we all are fed, thank YOU Lord for our daily bread.” She taught me this one when I could barely reach the table.

When I was a little older, I remember asking mama how I should pray at night…what should I say? She had of course already taught me the “Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take” prayer, but most importantly she also taught me to always ask God to bless others…even those who were mean to me.

She told me to talk to God like a good friend and to do it often. She told me that you didn't have to wait until night to talk to God and she was so right. The older I get, I find myself talking to him more and more. Sometimes I wonder if HE gets tired of me. The trouble is that I keep finding people to pray for…not to mention our state, our county, our country, etc. There is just so much that needs fixing and I believe some of it has come to a point so that only HE can fix it!

So I go to HIM.

Look, I am in NO WAY a saint. In fact I am a huge sinner. My mama, who I often put on a pedestal, God rest her soul, was not a saint. We all have our faults and our downfalls. We are, after all human, with human frailties and problems. There is none perfect except ONE and they nailed HIM to a cross on Calvary.

Back in my younger days, I drank way too much alcohol and partied hardy every weekend for years. I also did some mean and hurtful things. Things that shame me now when I dare to think of them. I was so stupid back in the days when I thought I knew it all.

The morning Preacher Robinson Baptized me at West End Baptist Church, I fully believe that God forgave me my sins, even though I have had a hard time forgiving myself of them.

That doesn't mean that I do not sin anymore either, I still tell a white lie to keep from hurting someone's feelings…I still curse when I get really angry (but not nearly as much as I use to, Lord forbid) and I have very little patience at all, among many other bad things.

But I do KNOW God and I do have HIM in my heart.

I also know GOD loves me .

Jesus loves me this I know,
For the Bible tells me so,
Little ones to Him belong,
They are weak but he is strong….

I can thank my mama for teaching me that too. I only wish I had been like my mama and did a better job at teaching my own children about Him.

Funny how my prayer petitions to God have changed throughout the years:
Back when I was in high school I use to pray;
“God please don’t let me die until I get to be 18”…(
which meant that I could drink and do as I want…God help me.)

Then later it was;
“God please don’t let me die until I marry .” (So I wouldn’t be an old maid! ha-ha!)

Then after I had my children:
“God please don’t let me die until my children are grown.” (Yep, I finally got a little sense, thank You Jesus.)

Here lately it has been;
“God please don’t let me die until my grandchildren are grown” (which means: Mawmaw needs to be around to save them, by making sure they don’t go hungry! A little family joke there.)

Well today I  realized that this is most important thing I should be asking God for; 

“God, please don’t let me die until I make sure that my children and my grandchildren know YOU, have a close relationship with YOU and have YOU in their hearts.”

To God be the Glory. In Jesus Holy Name. AMEN.


Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Home Again

          our first mill house

It just so happens that I got to do something today that I have been wanting to do for a long time.

A friend was sweeping off the front porch of the little mill house that Danny and I use to live in when I rode by it this evening. (It still stands in front of the old Cotton Mill.) I stopped and asked if he had bought it and he said he had. I then asked if I could go inside and look around it, as Danny and I were the last Mill workers to live in it.

He said I could!

It has been over 42 years since I was last in that little house that we use to think of as home. I stepped into the living room and it surprised me that it was still painted the same color! The old wooden mantle piece had been taken out by someone, but you could tell where it had once been. I use to have two crystal lamps sitting on that mantle. My mama and daddy gave them to us when we got married. They were both accidently knocked off and broken before we ever moved out of that little house. I cried for days about those two little lamps. We didn’t have money for much furniture, so we had one big sitting chair and a single iron bed upside the wall with huge pillows on it for our sofa! Come to think of it, I guess that means that we actually had a daybed before most country folks ever heard of them didn’t we?!

This little house was what they call a shotgun house or a rabbit box house which meant that it had three rooms, straight in a row, one right after the other. So the next room use to be our bedroom. I went in there and saw the tiny closet which we used to put our clothes in. Guess we didn’t need a big closet back then. I could see in my mind how our double iron bed sat catty cornered next to the wall…how we had to use a string to pull the ceiling light on and how we tied it to our headboard, so when we got up in the dark we could cut the light on first!

When I stepped into the kitchen, I saw that the sticky shelf paper with tiny flowers printed on it was still on the top of old white sink in there where I had put it ! I could just picture the old wringer washer sitting by the window and the white push button stove with the double oven and the deep well, sitting up against the wall.

I stepped into the little bathroom off the kitchen and immediately a long gone memory came rushing back to me. One day when I got up to fix Danny's breakfast as usual, that smell of the sausage that I was frying made me sick as a dog. I barely made it to the bathroom in time before I got violently ill!

Lord, I thought I had a stomach virus that morning…I found out a few days later that I was pregnant with my first born.

If I were a rich woman, I would buy that little house…just so I could go sit in it from time to time and ponder these precious memories of days past. I could go there when I need to feel close to Danny again.

As it is, I am grateful that I got to do something today that most folks don’t ever get to do.

Just for a few minutes, I got to go back home again.


Sunday, August 10, 2014



                This is Maw-maw’s house…
It’s an old, old house, with creaky floors and a little bitty bathroom.

             But it is also known as: 

The house where 2 little boys came to ‘MAWMAW CAMP’ in the summer 2014 for one overnight and two whole days.

     To play….to have fun….to relax….

    to get away from parents…hehehe


To be loved on and spoiled rotten by their Maw-maw.

They also got to eat….

     a lot.

Because everyone knows that little boys stay hungry.

They even got to order their own food at Mawmaw’s Kitchen Café.
For their first night’s meal they ordered:
chicken noodle soup*their favorite food, they informed me.
homemade biscuits
macaroni and cheese
French fries
corn on the cob
sausage*also their favorite food
great northern beans (aka as
lava beans to these boys)
They ate everything they ordered including a piece of cold watermelon for dessert !


Next morning for breakfast, they ordered:
with lots of syrup
sausage * their favorite food
scrambled eggs
And they ate everything they ordered.

*They also said their blessings before each and every meal. I am so proud that their parents taught them to do this.

They got to watch their favorite cartoons…


They got to go to Dairy Queen.

              Where one of them …

        ummmm…we won’t say which one…


              got not one…… 

               but TWO ice creams!
If you knew Willie, you would know how much this meant to him! lol

While the other one got a Strawberry Sundae


Which he loved because it was just like Mawmaw’s

We had loads of fun at Maw-Maw’s Camp. We even visited FREDS STORE and got gummy worms and dinosaurs and trucks…

Unfortunately, we soon found out that dinosaurs LOVE TO EAT gummy worms…

                Leave it to Will…hehehe

It is school time now and my grandsons are going. Wyatt is in first grade and little Will is in Pre-K .
08072014    08072014b
                          Where did the time go?

These are not only my grandsons…

             they are my heart and soul.

Right along with their little sister Kenzie;
The little girl that I prayed Amanda would have for her last child.
She will more than likely come to Maw-maw Camp in the near future
 or we may have a girls only camp.

            I haven’t decided yet. 

We will wait until she is a little older, so she too can have memories of Maw-maw Camp.

You know; it doesn’t take much to make a child happy…

Just feed them good. Give them plenty of time to play and be kids. Let them have a few treats every now and then.

                     Above all else…

         Love them.


Tuesday, July 1, 2014

That Time Again


Today, I took my annual trip to Eatonton to get my corn. I love the corn you get at Green Glades Farm! They have yellow or white corn and while I like the yellow, I love the white . $12.00 for 50 ears is a bargain. The only thing about it is the work involved. Each year I say I will not get so many again and each year I do it again! Well, Dan can eat his weight in corn and I have to have enough to share, so I ended up getting 250 ears! I  started shucking at 12pm and I just now got it all in the freezer and the kitchen cleaned up! Can you guess what we ate for supper??? ha!

Lord have mercy on me!!! I am sooooooooooo tired! The thing I hate about getting old is; the spirit is willing, but the body isn’t able! There are so many things that I use to could do with no sweat, but not now. When you get old, there are various parts of your body that hurt when you try to do things…things that you use to do with ease!! My hand that I used today to cut the corn is hurting, my back that I used lifting the boxes of corn from the car trunk is hurting, and even my arms are hurting!!


I went to Family Day at our little church this past Sunday. I got to hear some good singing and some good preaching. I also got to see some folks I hadn’t seen in a while. It is so good to see folks you love, and what better place to see them at, than in God’s house?! I bet here aren’t too many Churches that you can go to and come home with fresh out of the garden cucumbers either like I did! Thank you God for good people!

Dan and I went to Athens after Church Sunday to get my new glasses. Dang I didn’t know how bad my old glasses were, until I looked through my new ones! Man!! I felt like singing; “I can see clearly now!”

While we were in Athens we ate at the China Star Buffet. As I was driving out of the parking lot, I looked to my right and saw a man that had set up an easel at the end of the driveway. He was painting a picture….holding the paint brush with his teeth. He had no arms. I slammed on brakes and thankfully the car behind me didn’t hit me or even blow the horn as I quickly dug money out of my purse for Dan to give the man. I cried as I drove off down the highway. So many thoughts were running through my mind. Like wishing I could do more for him and thinking of all the people on disability that shouldn’t even be on disability and here this man is outside in over 90 degree heat with no arms painting pictures with his teeth to try to make a little money. Father God please help him.

Our little Wyatt turned 6 years old on the 18th of June. I can not believe he is six now! Time goes so fast…too fast when it comes to your babies and grandbabies growing up on you.


That hat he is wearing in the picture is a tad too small on his head now. He has more hats and even got a new one for his birthday, but he will only wear this one! I believe it is like a security blanket to him!

He and his little brother William got to spend an entire week at their other gamma’s house  this past week, so they could go to Vacation Bible school! They were soooo excited! Last year when I asked Wyatt what he learned in Bible School, he told me that he learned that Jesus loved him! Willie didn’t get to go last year, because he was too young. I can’t wait to get  a chance to ask little Willie what he learned this year! (Little Miss Kenzie probably thought she was ‘all that’  being the only kid at home for a week!)

          wyatt and will vacation bible school 2014c
           Wyatt and William listening to Moses

            Miss Kenzie with her baby!

You know…no matter how bad I may feel or how blue I may get...

All I have to do is think about the three little munchkins that God blessed us with and I can smile again.

Thank You God for Your blessings on me.


Tuesday, May 20, 2014



I went up to the old home place and went through pictures that my mama had saved during the years. I sorted them out into little piles for each child. ( Now I have got to get them to them.)

Mama never put her pictures in neat little photo albums like most folks do. She had an old cardboard box that she would put them in. Ever so often, as children, she would let us get that old cardboard box out and look through them. It was so hot the day that I went up there and the pictures were no longer in the old cardboard box that I remember as a child, but haphazardly thrown into an old foot locker. I guess the old shoe box either got too little or it fell apart. Sorting those old photographs seem to take forever and some I just had to play ‘guess who’ to know which pile it might belong in. (People, PLEASE write the name of the person or persons in the picture on the back of your photos!! And while you are at it, include the year. ) 

On the back of one of the pictures of my son Daniel, taken when he was two years old, mama had written (in her beautiful penmanship) all the nicknames she had called him as a baby! Names that I had long ago forgotten, but came back to me as soon as I read them.

Down near the bottom of the trunk, I found an article written by Celestine Sibley that mama had cut out of the Atlanta Constitution. That daily newspaper was her one little luxury that she allowed herself back there on Horseshoe Bend. She may have done without almost everything else, but by gosh she got her daily paper to read, bless her heart. It was also the only times that I remember my mama actually sitting down for any length of time. Ask anyone who knew her and they will tell you that she was always up and doing something. She loved reading Celestine Sibley, Lewis Grizzard and Erma Bombeck and would often read them aloud to me. So I too grew to love the very same writers;  Lewis Grizzard  being my favorite.

I continued having her daily paper and the Herald Journal delivered to her at the nursing home for many years. For as long as she could read and understand,  I made sure that she had her paper. That was a promise I made to her and also to myself.

Out in the country, back in the old days, my mama would sit at the table with her cup of coffee reading the newspaper every morning. That coffee would be so strong that it could walk to town and back, as my daddy would say!  She would drink that strong coffee all day long, in summertime as well as wintertime,  hardly ever drinking any water. She use to say she didn’t like the taste of water! ha! Now, I agree that water may be good for your body, but whenever I hear someone say that you need to drink so many glasses of water everyday…I just smile and nod my head and think about my mama living to be 88 years old on that strong as molasses coffee!

Thank You God for the years I had with my precious mama and daddy. I only wish that I had used them more wisely. You know, if your parents are still living…go see them, go talk to them face to face, ask them questions about their parents, their grandparents, about their childhood and the days of their youth…

Do this before all you have left are some old photographs in a foot locker.


Sunday, April 27, 2014



I have been having all kinds of thoughts that have been running around this old head of mine and for days I have been putting off writing them down, so I guess I need to get them out before they clog up this brain of mine. 

The older I get, the more I realize how blessed I have actually been. Back when I was a little bitty thing on Horseshoe Bend, running around with all my little raggedy brothers and sisters, I thought we were so poor. Good gosh, there was no running water, and after our well went dry, Daddy had to haul water from Mr. Paul’s dairy every day for us to use. Two or three old metal milk cans worth of water… to last one day. Lord have mercy, can you imagine only having that much water to use for everything in a day’s time now? We probably use that much or more in just flushing the toilet! I remember we had an old galvanized metal bucket sitting on the wooden shelf in our kitchen with an aluminum dipper in it for our drinking water. I swear it seems like that water stayed cool to drink even in the summer time. Just like how those old wooden floors and walls felt when our little dirty feet ran across them or touched them…they were always cool.

I can see my sweet mama standing at the table making our big cathead biscuits that we would have for supper with our milk gravy.  No matter what we were having, we always knew there would be milk gravy and biscuits. Sometimes she would use an aluminum glass to cut them out (yes, there were aluminum glasses back then) and sometimes she would just roll them out with her hands.  I do the same way now, except I use a biscuit cutter if I want to be that fancy. Either way, mine will never match up to the deliciousness of my mama’s biscuits. Mama had an old wooden bread bowl that she made those good biscuits up in. It wasn’t a round one, but a long one. She made so many biscuits that she wore the bottom out of it and daddy took a Prince Albert can, I believe, and made it a new bottom! She used it for many more years after that, but some how or the other, down through the years, it finally got broken and gone. I sure wish I had that old bowl now.


When I was around 13 or 14 years old we moved to the Mill Town section of Greensboro. We had a sink in the kitchen with running water, painted walls, ( Buttercup Yellow in the kitchen!) linoleum rugs, gas space heaters, three bedrooms, and a bathroom complete with tub and a toilet…and I thought I was rich!   I will never forget the first time I heard the mill whistle blow and then the train run by. They scared the living daylights out of me! This was a neat little section of town back then.  Of course back then, in the sixties, the mill was still running and there were basically only the hard working mill employees along with some folks who worked up town ( like my daddy) who lived here. They loved their little homes and yards and took very good care of them, taking pride in keeping them clean and tidy, inside and out; although most were still owned by the Mill. Back then there was such a thing as pride.


Not so now days. I still live in the same neighborhood, just right around the corner form our old home. It saddens me to see that this area has gotten so run down. I guess it is because nearly all the houses are rentals and the landlords who own them are interested in just that…the rentperiod. If those hard working mill folks could see their beloved homes and yards now days, the graveyards would be jumpin’,  because I bet they would be rolling over in their graves. Even the city itself has abandoned us with the little dirt road that runs right behind my home. It is called Buffalo Street and the only way you would know that now days that it use to be a city street, is by the old street sign that still stands at the end of it. Now days it is a dump. A place where the people who live in the rental homes dump their mattresses, tires, you name it.


The thing is, you have to stay focused on the good in any situation, and most of all, the good things in your life.  I know that none of us live in a fairy tale land, we all have our problems and heartaches in this old world, but with that being said, if we look hard enough, we will find the good things.

Sure, my neighborhood is run down, but the good thing is; my yard is clean, my son cuts my grass for me  and I keep my house clean. (well, reasonably so! hah)


My car is over eighteen years old and just this past week had to have a new water pump, a new starter and the air conditioner worked on all at once…but the good thing is; Thank God  I had the emergency money put back and a mechanic that I can trust to fix it. (he even fixed it within a day!) 

The good thing is; I have good Christian employers and a job that I have been at for about 25 years.

The good thing is; God gives me the strength to keep going to my job every week in order to save the money back to fix my car!

I think every bone and muscle in body aches today, but the good thing is, today I can still use my arms, my legs and my muscles, when there are some who can’t.


I’ve got to get some new glasses, but the good thing is, I may not see well, but I can still see and am able to see all God’s beautiful creations; from the pretty azaleas in my yard to my sweet grandchildren’s faces.

I can’t hear worth a toot any more, but the good thing is; I may not hear well, but I can still hear and have heard so many wonderful sounds…my mama’s soothing voice as a child, my newborn babies first cries, my children’s and then later on my grandchildren's laughter, mine and Danny's wedding vows and the many, many times he said; “I love you more Carlene”…some folks aren’t that lucky.


Praise GOD, aren’t we BLESSED?!!


Sunday, April 20, 2014


               FAITH EASTER2
I got up this morning and put my clothes on and ran out the door. I had to go to the Dollar Store to get my graham crackers for the éclair cake I was making. (I get my graham crackers at the Dollar Store because they are a lot cheaper there than at regular grocery stores.) I am in a hurry. I need to get this and get back home, get the cake made and then get a shower and go to Church. I rush in the store, grab the crackers and rush back out and jump in my car and turn the key….nothing happens.
I get out and lift the hood and look at the battery wires. See, I have been having trouble with them. I assume it is because of the age of the car that the wires have began to ravel. After all, the car is over 18 years old.  I nudge the wires a little bit, then get back into my car and turn the ignition….nothing. So I call my son-in-law.
Of all times, my grandson answers the phone…something he has never done when I call. He says; “hello?”  I say;  “hey baby, will you put mommy on the phone?” He says; “hey maw-maw!” and so again I ask him to put mommy on the phone…I hear him telling mommy to come to the phone and I breathe a sigh of relief…but then I hear, “Who is it son?” and I hear him telling her that it is maw-maw. Next, I hear her telling him that she is busy right now, so to please just talk to maw-maw for a few minutes until she can come to the phone! He comes back to the phone and says in his sweet little sing song voice, “ what ya doing maw-maw?”
Lord have mercy.
I say, “ baby go tell mommy it is an emergency.” He asks me what I said. I repeated, “it is an emergency…go tell mommy it is an emergency” 
He says, “it is what maw-maw?” 
Oh Lord.
So I repeat it….twice more….and I finally hear him going to his mommy saying, “ mommy, maw-maw says it’s an mercency.”  I hear Amanda say, “A what?” Then  I hear her saying, “give me the phone quickly please.”  Finally!
Thank You Jesus.
I tell Amanda my problem and then she hands the phone to Kelvin. He tells me he will be there in 15 minutes.
Praise God.
While I am waiting in the car, I call my sister-in-law and talk to her for about 10 minutes, then I hang up and decide on a whim to try to crank the car again….and of all things, it cranked…right as Kelvin was driving up beside me. I tell him how it just cranked and he got me to lift the hood so he can check the wires. Sure enough one was loose from the post. So he fixed it the best he could and told me to go on to Ingles and if I had trouble to try to catch him before he left town. Well, I went to Ingles, got my groceries and came back out and there sat Kelvin..parked right beside my car!  God bless his heart. He told me to make sure the car would crank, so  I got in and turned the key and …it wouldn’t crank.
Oh Lord.
Kelvin hooks it up to the jumper cables and we try again…..nothing! He takes a wrench and taps on something and tells me to try it again and….. it cranked! The something he was tapping on is my starter. Soooooo,  I guess I will be putting my car in the shop tomorrow.
Help me Jesus.
I am upset because I so wanted to go to Church today. Instead, since it was so late when I got home, I just began making the chocolate éclair cake I had planned on taking to my children and grandchildren.  Then I fixed Dan and me something to eat.
As I was saying the blessing over our food… I thanked Our Heavenly Father for what He did for us on this blessed day…you know what?
I felt His presence.
I truly believe God was with us here in our little Mill Town house.
But then  again, didn’t he tell us that,He is always with us.”
Happy Easter my friends.

Sunday, March 16, 2014


Have you ever felt like you wanted to do the right thing, yet something kept holding you back?  You try and try and try again,  and yet  it seems like every obstacle there is will jump in front of you…
Well,that’s how I felt this morning.
Lately I have been trying to go to Church a little more often. I feel better when I go. So, I went to work yesterday thinking; “ I am going to Church tomorrow.” Then  I went to bed last night thinking; “I am going to Church tomorrow.”
Well, this morning, for the first time in a very, very long time, I slept late…and I mean late…like 10:22 am late!  ( Church starts at 11:00 am.) After jumping up and taking the pups for their morning walk, I gathered my Sunday clothes and headed toward the bathroom for a quick shower. The whole time something was whispering in my ear that , “It’s too late you know, you are going to be way too late getting there. It’s pouring down rain, you may as well just have a seat and drink your coffee and not go”.
Well, I said a quick, “get thee behind me satan”, then went ahead and took my shower. Getting out, I reached for my hair dryer.
I dropped it.
I picked it up. I put it’s plug in the electrical outlet and the dryer didn't come on!
As soon as I pushed the reset button though, it came on, thank goodness. 
It took a lot of determination and effort, but in the end, I was able to make it to Church just in time.
The pastor even met me at the front door!
My cousin, Dianne, (who favors my mama a lot),  plays the piano at our Church and sometimes, the preacher will sing for us. During this morning’s service, our pastor sang a beautiful hymn while Dianne played.  Although I have already forgotten the name of the song, I will always remember the tune it was sang to…
“Oh, Danny Boy”
The very song my mama played on the piano, and also sang to my husband, Danny, I know a million times.
I had never known that there was a church hymn set to the music of “Oh Danny Boy” before today, but what  I do know is this:
I had the sweetest, most peaceful feeling come over me this morning as I sat there in our little Church and listened to it.
I think there were two forces working on me this morning….the evil one; who was trying his best to keep me home…and God, who had a little message for my old heart. A message that He was trying His best to pass along to me.
A message that was straight from Heaven.
Thank YOU Jesus. To GOD be the Glory.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014


I thought I was prepared for it. After all, she had not even known who I was for a while now.  I guess it is because I KNEW WHO SHE WAS and my love for her ran so deep, that I am at a loss now. I know she wasn't the perfect mother, but then again who among us can say; that we were the perfect parents?

I sure can’t.

I think of all the hardships she faced. Lord, just the way we were living back on Horseshoe Bend, had I been the one to care for 6 little kids like that, I would have been driven mad. Just think of it…days on end with nothing but milk gravy and biscuits to eat, no running water, no heat (except for a wood stove ). Not even a drop of paint on the wooden walls to make things just a little bit nicer. We always said that there were cracks in the old wooden floor boards big enough for our cats to fall through…ha!

I remember mama coming in the house in her old long coat with a wool scarf around her head. Her cheeks and lips would be chapped red, her eyebrows frozen, and her nose dripping from the freezing cold..and she had been out there chopping wood for that old stove, just so we could be warm.

I remember how she use to wring the chickens heads off so we could every once in a while have fried chicken. It has came to me in my later years, that it had to have hurt her to do this. After all, she LOVED those chickens like pets. Many a time I remember her petting them and loving on them…but she also knew her kids had to eat and truth is that fried chicken with  the milk gravy was sooooo good. I think back now and know that the reason she always claimed that she loved the back and the neck was because it had less meat. You see, that way we children could have the bigger and better parts.

When I had rheumatic fever as a child and had to spend all those many long days and nights out there in the hospital, it was she who stayed with me and mopped my fevered brow. It was she who kept me company, tended to me and comforted me…she never left me. I was her baby and she never let me forget that.

I remember her having to go to Atlanta to get the veins in her legs stripped and have the liquid that burned like fire injected in her legs. She had to take a greyhound bus from Greensboro all the way to the Atlanta bus terminal. (Remember she was just a country girl and had to have felt lost in the big city of Atlanta.) She would leave the bus station and walk to Peachtree street to the doctor who did these torturous treatments on her. Then afterwards, they would let her lay down for a bit.  She had to have been in so much pain, but after she had rested for only a few minutes, she would have to walk all the way back to the bus terminal. ( I know all this, because being that I was not yet in school, she took me with her. She held my little hand tightly as we walked and navigated those streets of Atlanta. ) So she had a small child to tend to also.

A few years after I was born, she lost a child due to the mistakes of doctors who thought she had a tumor, but in reality that tumor was a baby. ( I saddens me to know that now days that baby probably would have survived.) Years later, when I was grown, she would tell me that her baby was fully formed, that it was a little girl and that she got to see her. I remember her saying that the doctors delivered the baby and laid her on the table next to her . My mama saw her baby girl take one little breath and then die. Mama told me she would have named the baby girl Shirley Jean and she thought how odd that years later, one of her son’s had married not once, but twice; ladies named Shirley Jean.

My mama was a kid at heart. She would get out there on Horseshoe Bend and ride bikes with me and my sister, play on the swing set with us, and also chase us around the house with any bug she could get her hands on! She would give us spoons, saucers, cups, and old pans to play in the dirt making mud pies.

She was the forever prankster. In later years, she would have most all the grandkids sleeping over at her house in town in the summertime. They would all sleep in the front bedroom. This was the bedroom that had the window opening onto the front porch. After the kids had gone to bed, they would of course be giggling and going on. She would wait a little bit, then sneak out on the porch and scratch at the window screen and make spooky noises!! You should have seen those young-uns falling over themselves running into the kitchen…. where mama was now sitting calmly, playing cards with our Aunt, our Daddy, or one of us grown children. hah!

She loved playing jokes on people and that didn’t stop when she got older. When it came time for her to have home health care aids and nurses in her home, she would set her coffee cup on the kitchen table and then when one of the nurses came by, she would ask them to bring it to her in the living room. When they would pick the empty cup up and see the (fake) giant cock roach, or spider, etc. sitting in the bottom of it, of course they would holler, and Mama loved it!

At mama’s funeral, during the visitation time, some of the nurses and health care aides came to sign the register. They talked about how they hadn’t realized that mama could play the piano, until Paige set her in front of it and she played tunes for them! They told about how she always loved to make people laugh.

The one thing they said though, that really touched my heart was this…

“Miss Lindsey, always,  every time we went into her room, told us ALL how much she loved us.”

One of them then added ; “Your mama didn’t know color; she knew love.”

Yep..that about sums it up.

Rest in peace mama and yes I promise, I will always be your baby.



Tuesday, February 11, 2014


I didn’t sleep very well Saturday night, but then again I haven’t slept well in days. So when I got out of bed Sunday morning, I had already made my mind up that I wasn’t going to Church. It had been a while since I been in Church anyway, so one more Sunday wasn’t going to hurt me I figured. Besides, I needed to write out the checks for my bills or they were going to be late. What with my mama passing away this past Tuesday and then the funeral Thursday, I had not had a chance to do it yet.

As I sat down at my desk and began to get the bills in order and get my checkbook out, Dan popped his head in my bedroom door. First thing out of his mouth was, “mama I want to go to Church this morning, Okay?” Now, I was already shocked that he was up that early anyway. Dan is a night owl. He always has been, even when he was a little tyke. Funny thing is, I never had any trouble trying to wake him up to go to school. He was always ‘sitting on ready waiting on go’, no matter how late he had lain awake the night before.

Adding to my surprise yesterday was the fact that he also wanted to go to Church. So I knew I might as well put the bills up, because I was going to Church. When Dan wants to go to Church, I go! Sometimes Dan wants to go to the little Church in Union Point because he knows some of the folks down there. He went to school with some of them. The Church also lets those who want to, sing using karaoke and he loves listening to them sing.

Since my mama died this past Tuesday, I have been very emotional to say the least, so I told Dan we would go to Church, but we would go to our Church down the street. I figured that way we would sing the songs out of the hymnals and there would be less chance of any songs that would pull on my heart strings. So I put up all the bills and got a shower. I put my ‘Sunday go to meetin’ clothes on and we went down the street to our Church.

As I walked in, I noticed a man with a young man and lady I had not ever seen before sitting in the last pew. I nodded a greeting toward them and walked on to the front where I saw my niece sitting. She told me she and her step daughter was going to be singing some songs. It was then that I learned that there would be no normal Church service, but instead, they were having a singing and then afterwards, soup and sandwiches down in the eating area.

I was a little worried..I mean I had purposely brought Dan to our Church to save us both from more heartache and we had walked right in to a singing!  See this is what you get when you stay away from Church. You don’t know a thing about what is going on or when.

Well, the first song that Charity and Lexi sang was an upbeat song that Reba McIntire sings called: "Sky Full Of Angels"

“ Preacher man talking about the end of time
Well, Lord knows I'm ready, it don't worry my mind
You see, I ain't afraid of nothing because I believe
I've got a sky full of angels watching over me”

They did very good and even had me tapping my feet and clapping right along with them as they sang.The young couple who were with the man in the back pew were his daughter and son. The son played the piano as the daughter sang. We found out that the man was an evangelist preacher who held old time revivals. Our preacher said he was trying to get him to hold one in Greensboro.

Next up was our preacher and he sings so good…I can not remember the name of the song he sang, but it was beautiful. It was about picking up the phone to call someone, before remembering they had passed on..Well, let me tell you, that song had me crying, not out loud, but tears were breaking loose and sneaking down my cheeks.

A few more songs and soon the singing was over, and I had made it through. At the end, our preacher, who was sitting in the front pew,  stood up and asked the man in the back pew to go ahead and say the blessing on the food before we all went downstairs to eat. Well, the man in the back pew started saying the blessing and then he sort of paused for a while before he said,

“I got to say this…there is someone here who has lost a loved one recently.”

My breath caught in my throat.

He went on to say, “ this loved one was very closely related and has just recently passed.” By this time, eyes still closed and head still bowed, I was literally shaking as Charity grabbed my hand and was squeezing the heck out of it. He then said, “your loved one wants you to know that just like the gospel song goes, that they are sitting at Jesus Feet right now… today.

Cold chills began racing up my arms.

When the blessing was over, my niece Charity and I began making our way down the isle to go outside and around to the basement door. There were a good many folks in front of us, so it was a slow go. The man from the back pew was in the isle and as I went to pass on by him, he caught hold of my hand and looked me straight in the face and said, “Ms. Robertson, you are the one who lost a loved one aren’t you?” I was so shocked that I didn’t even think to tell him I wasn’t Ms. Robertson, but instead told him yes, that my mama had passed Tuesday. He said that he had felt it so strongly during the blessing and….

There in that Church isle,  he told me again that my mama was in Heaven.


All I know is…

1. He called me Ms. Robertson.  N
ow sure, maybe he did think I was the preacher’s wife, who is named Mrs. Robinson… but my mama was born Margaret Robertson and Robertson is what he called me.

2. I had not been to Church in weeks and No ONE knew I was coming. So no one could have told that man anything about my mama passing away and him know who I was or know that I would even be there. That man didn’t know me from Adam’s housecat.

3. Ever since my mama died Tuesday, when I would lie down in my bed at night, I would pray, “ God, please take her on into Heaven.”

So I choose not to think of this as a coincidence. I choose to think that this was God’s way of getting a message to me and you know something? You can’t run from God. He will find you.

He found me Sunday.

He knew before I knew, that I was going to be at that church and He sent that evangelist there to get a message across to me.

I know two things for certain.

If that evangelist ever does have a revival here, I will definitely be there!

Most importantly…

My mama is in Heaven.


Friday, February 7, 2014



           My mama, (left) her brother Tommy and sister Helen

On Monday night, my mama was admitted into the hospital in critical condition. It probably couldn’t have been a worse time. She had children and grandchildren over 500 miles away, some in places with 7 inches of snow. Sleet was forecast to begin falling on top of the snow the next night. When I asked if I needed to call the family in, the doctor told me that although mama was most likely going to die, he couldn't pin point how long she had. He said he wasn't God, and with Mrs. Lindsey, you sure couldn’t make a guess, because she was one of the strongest women he had ever known and had fooled him in December when she was so sick. ( She got well!) So we said we would wait until all the tests came back the next day.

But I had a feeling this time.

For the last three weeks I have dreamed one certain dream over and over. This dream I was having, although not too bad, had left me with an uneasy feeling.

The first thing I noticed Monday evening as I walked into mama’s room at the hospital was a huge painting of a beautiful dogwood tree on the wall. It made me think of my daddy who has been dead for years. He loved dogwood trees.

           family aunt helen and mama
               Aunt Helen on left and my mama on right in Mill Town.

Even though mama wasn’t awake, I sat out there for a long time that night just talking to her, telling her how much I loved her, how she was the best mama I could have had, how hard I knew she had worked to raise us all when we were so very poor, how strong she was, and I also let her know that her baby was there. When the nurses said that all the test results wouldn’t be in until the next morning anyway, I went ahead and left to go home around 10pm or so, to try get a little sleep…

Figuring I would come back early the next morning.

          family mama susan with thomas  jo ann  sue ellen christopher and granny
             mama in1965

It was just as I was heading out the front door of my house the next morning around 8 am, that my home phone begin to ring. Being in a hurry to get out there with mama, I debated on just letting it ring. (Because I had given the hospital my cell phone number in case they needed me.)

Something just told me to turn around and go on back in the house and answer the phone.

                 My mama with Danny.

It was the doctor and before he even told me, I knew my mama was already gone. He said she went peacefully with no pain. It’s true what they say about hindsight being 20/20, because I wish with all my heart that I had went on and stayed the whole night with my mama and been with her when she took her last breath.

I can’t changed that now, and I know I will have to live with that fact for the rest of my life.

My mama is gone.

I will never again on this earth see her sweet smile or hear her voice…the mother’s voice I have heard since my birth. I loved her so much and although I knew this day would eventually come, it has still been such a hard loss. I was her baby, and she used to tell me I would ALWAYS be her baby. (I have caught myself telling Amanda and Dan the same thing, so yeah I know what she meant.) 

                                Me and my mama

Even in the midst of sorrows, you can sometimes still find good things happening around you if you look hard enough….

I am so very proud of my two children and my nieces and nephews. Although they didn’t have to, they collected money between them all to buy the beautiful spray for their grandma’s casket. Knowing Grandma’s favorite color was yellow, they had it filled full of yellow roses. Even grandchildren who lived far away proved their love for their grandmother, God bless them all. Then again, they knew what they had lost…a grandma who loved them with all her heart..

                       Wyatt with his great-grandma Lindsey

God was with us because my mama’s son and daughter and their families made it down over a mountain, through ice and snow without accidents for the funeral.  I got to see family that I had not seen in a very long time. It is so sad that the only time we as a family get together, is always at a funeral, but then again, you also find out there are wonderful friends, neighbors and family who really care and are praying for you.

It comforts me to know…

My mama's legs and feet are now healed and she is in no more pain.
Where that bastard (Alzheimer's) had robbed her of memories of her own children, today her mind is clear and those precious memories are restored. My mama is reunited with her loved ones…even the little sister we never got to meet.

           mama with wyatt and will
Will ( left)and Wyatt (right) with their great-grandma Lindsey

Yes, my heart is broken, but I still stand on the promise from our Almighty God that one sweet day, we will meet our loved ones again. And on that day;  “He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever." Revelation 21:4

Finally, I am trying very hard to remember that even though we all face trials and sorrows in this world at one time or another….

He is always with us.