Looking Back

Today, a young man came and installed some boxes on my TV’s. My cable service switched over to a different service and in order to keep getting my channels, I had to have these boxes…which of course means extra money tacked onto the bill.

It also means me trying to figure the dang 100 button remote out and then me teaching Dan how to use them….

Lord have mercy on me.

Looking back to my childhood out on Horseshoe Bend, I wonder why in the world I was in such a hurry to leave that place? Oh, to be able to go back and know then what I know now. I would hide under the bed and never leave.

I swear to you that I would be like Peter Pan and live out my life as a child.

For a long time, back then, we had no TV and when we finally did get one, it was all because my mama wrote an essay to enter a contest as to ‘why Frank, my brother, would love to have a dang dog’!

Mama was always writing and entering all kinds of contests..I may be partial, but my mama could write! Once she wrote an essay honoring my Aunt Em, and I forget now what Aunt Em won, but my mama got a cook book out of it! My Aunt Em was a wonderfully sweet lady and I am 100% sure it wasn’t very hard to  write an essay honoring her.

On this particular contest that mama won though, Frank was invited to be on TV to get his prize! I mean, can you imagine??  We are talking late 50’s, when TV was something fairly new and to be able to actually be on a TV show??? I don’t remember who actually took  Frank to Atlanta to be on  (what I believe was) WSB TV. I’ll have to ask my brother one day. I do know that Mama and Daddy were bound and determined to be able to see their first born get his prize on TV.

That TV we got showed 2 channels I think…and to get the picture, someone was constantly having to go outside and turn the antenna this way and that until it cleared up. I can remember my brothers having to stand out there in the yard and be ready to turn that antenna when wrestling was on! My daddy and Mr. Roger Boswell and a few other men of the community would have the best times watching that show, yelling and going on like little boys.

I can remember Mama always watched ‘As The world Turns’ and ‘Queen For A Day’ and I always secretly dreamed that one day SHE would be the Queen For A Day. She never was of course, but she will always be a Queen in my heart.

On Saturdays, we kids would get to watch Sky King, Roy Rogers with Dale Evans, The Lone Ranger, Tarzan, and various cartoons, if we were quiet and had done all our chores.

Other days we were always outside playing in the yard until the sun went down. You know, thinking back, we didn’t have very many toys at all…but that didn’t stop us from having fun. We played games such as leap frog, hide and seek, Red rover, and hop scotch…among all the other ones we would make up.

We actually used something back in those days that is in short supply these days…

i-m-a-g-i-n-a-t-i-o-n.

Yep, if I could only go back to those good old days.

People worked hard, but at least they worked. There were no government hand outs back then, and most folks would have been too proud to take it, even if it had been. 

Though it was a hard way of life, in general, it was a lot less stressful.

And the dang TV service was FREE!

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

 

 

 

WHEN GOD CALLS….YOU GO.

There’s not anything much more beautiful than Springtime.

It is my favorite time of the year. Everything is blooming, bees are a buzzing and birds are a singing. Looking up this Sunday morning, I could see clear blue skies with white puffy clouds floating lazily by, like ships sailing on the ocean and I am at peace.

There is a sense of calm that fills my soul today.

It is as if God is standing here next to me, whispering in my ear that things are going to be okay…that no matter what, HE has my back…that He has been here for me even when I have felt my most lonesome...my most unwanted and unloved. I, like so many others, have a hard time remembering that when I need him most…when  I am at my lowest.

HE is calling to me.

I have had so many offers to come to church this morning...all in different locations...all different denominations.

It is as if HE is saying..’It doesn’t matter where or in what form…you need to get there and you need to hear MY word.’

I feel sort of like a little lost child, because I know that I have been  seeking HIM too.  I need to hear HIS word. It has been way too long. Like the grass in my backyard that has went without rain for what seems like forever, my soul has become withered.

I need the SPIRIT of GOD to soak down into my soul. It has got be replenished, and rehydrated…so that it can become ALIVE. 

Today.

So, I am closing this entry out right now.

He has called me…

And I am going.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

Missing Parts

It’s 9:29pm and I am lonely. You see, there are parts of me missing.

You know how people are always saying, “ time flies ” ?

It does.

It’s like when you’re young,maybe nearing eighteen,  all your future lies ahead of you, so time seems to drag. Then you hit your twenties and time speeds up…just a little bit.

In your thirties, usually by this time, you are married or in a serious relationship and beginning to “settle down” . You are raising your children, working hard to provide for them, going to their school functions, tending to your home and in general very busy…Time is speeding up.

By your forties, your children are nearing graduation, your parents are aging, work is harder than ever,  your energy is lagging and you are wondering why you're always tired. Time is getting away from you.

You’re in your fifties. Your children are gone and too busy to come around because they are just beginning their lives. You are experiencing the ‘empty nest syndrome’. Your parents are gone, either by death or by Alzheimer's and sometimes…

God forbid…

Even the love of your life has left you too.

Yep, there are parts of me missing tonight.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

A Conversation With My Mama

 

           

I went to see my Mama today. Since it was late afternoon, I called ahead to make sure she wasn’t eating supper. If she is eating, she will first try to get you to eat and then if you don’t, she will stop eating herself. She has always done this. I think it is a throw back to the days on Horseshoe Bend, when sometimes we didn’t have much to eat and she would not eat until all of her children had.

When I called, they said to give it thirty more minutes and then come. In thirty minutes I was there. She was already in bed when I walked into her room, but thankfully, she wasn’t asleep.

After I hugged and kissed her, I pulled her wheel chair up to her bed and had a seat…preparing myself for the “Who are you honey…do I know you?” questions.

Instead I got a nice surprise…

My Mama knew me!

She said, “Carlene, you are my baby. We needed you. You had the prettiest wavy hair. You are the prettiest one out of all of them!” I had to laugh at that last sentence….

You see…

She use to tell ALL SIX of us that! She would tell us separately, without the others present. It would be many, many years to pass, before we were to find this out! We were all sitting on Mama’s front porch one day, and for some reason, one of us popped up and said, “Well, Mama always said I was the prettiest!” Well, it didn’t take long for the other five to let it be known loud and clear that she had told each one of them the very same thing!  We all laughed hysterically!

Our dear sweet mama had, for all those years, had each of us thinking that “we” were the prettiest!

She went on to ask, “Have you had any sleep?  You are going to need your sleep, because you never know….and I don’t want it to scare you when it happens. Don’t let it scare you.”

I did not ask what she meant when she said this…I didn’t want to know.

“Did you have supper? Do you get enough to eat?” Now, only a mama would ask that of a noticeably overweight lady!

“Did they ever find Walt’s ( my long deceased daddy) car? Now I swear that I don’t know what happened to it, I just seen that it was gone!”  I couldn’t help but laugh out loud when she said this…mama could be sneaky in her old days, especially if she was mad at my daddy!

When I got ready to leave, I told her that I loved her…and she looked me right in the eye and said,“ I love you more, because I had you” 

After more hugs and kisses, I left her there in her bed, with her asking, “Are you coming back tonight???”

Walking blindly down the Nursing Home hallway, I thought about how my son Dan was sooooo right….

I cry when she doesn’t know me, and I cry when she does.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL

LITTLE GIRL LOST

      

                    

It’s funny, but when I walked into Wal-Mart today to get my medicines today, the first thing that caught my eye was the CODE ADAM sign posted on the front door. This means, among other things, that if a child is lost, an alert goes out and each associate works hard to try and make sure that child is found.

You know, looking back, I think God was trying to tell me something….

While at the store,  I decided to get me some new ankle socks. I try to save as much as possible, so I buy my socks in the boys section. (You get more and they are cheaper. )

While I was looking at the different brands and prices, I noticed a little bitty girl walking up and down the aisles. She looked to be about Wyatt’s age…around three…much too young to be on her own.

The grandma in me immediately went on alert.

I stood there looking at the socks, yet also keeping an eye out for the child. She was still walking up and down the aisles. It wasn’t very long before she came up to me. With tears about to spill over, she said, “Do you know where my mommy is?”  I said, “No, but we can go get someone to call her for you.” 

Being right behind the ladies dressing rooms, I quickly walked with her around to the front and sure enough, there were two Wal-Mart associates standing there at the desk. I explained to them that we had a “lost mommy” and one of them immediately took the little girl up to the front of the store to the courtesy desk.

I walked back around to the socks and it wasn’t very long before I saw a lady calmly describing a little girl to a Wal-Mart employee near there. This lady was holding on to a buggy and had two more little girls walking along beside her. I walked over and asked the associate if the lady had lost a child in the store and she told me she had. When I told that lady that her child was at the courtesy desk, and explained to her how she had came up to me asking for my help, she actually seemed more agitated than worried and said, “Well, she won’t stay in the buggy and then she wanders off all the time.”

Oh man…

I wanted so badly to say to this mama..”well then you MAKE her stay in the buggy, no ifs, ands, or buts about it”. I also wanted to say,” your little girl just walked up to a complete stranger and came right along with me when I asked her to. I would rather her be kicking and screaming in that dang buggy than be kidnapped!” But the mama had already left to go to the courtesy desk….leaving me stunned. All I could think, as I watched her walk away was that;  I could have been someone who was not so nice. I could have been an evil person…

And that baby walked right up to me, trusting me to help her.

God forbid, but I would have been frantic had I lost Wyatt or little William. We have entirely too many little ones being kidnapped and worse. We have got to start keeping a better eye on our little children.

This morning,while walking my pups, I saw the mother hen and her eight little fuzzy yellow chicks in my yard again. All eight of them chirping and running all about, scratching around in the dirt just like their mama. The mother hen was constantly rounding them up and guiding them closer to her and at one time she actually nestled down on top of them, to try to keep them all together…

To keep them safe.

Shouldn’t we as humans do at least that much for our little ones?

Thank You God for for helping me be where I was, when that child was lost.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

10 THINGS I’VE LEARNED

 

          

We begin our lives by learning….

Why, our very first breath is our first learning adventure, though I believe that we are fortunate not to be able to remember that one.

                

If you stop and think about it, things were pretty comfy for us while still in our mother’s womb. Yep, we are snug as a bug in our own warm, quiet and dimly lit little world. Then all of a sudden we are literally forced out into a place where there is a lot of bright light, a lot of loud noise, and Lord help us, Mom is not our oxygen machine any longer! For the very first time in our existence, we have to breathe on our own in order to live! Now, I tell you what; that first breath had to have been a very traumatic experience! God bless our little hearts, no wonder we usually cry when we are first born.

                

Fortunately, within a very short span, if all goes well, we are able to learn to eat, sit, stand and walk. Yep, we usually get the basics out of the way fast and with no problems.

It is the lessons we learn later on in life that are usually the hard ones, the ones that seem to take us such a long time to get though our heads.

Lesson # 1. Parents were people before they ever were parents and they are smarter than we ever thought.

Lesson # 2.  Parents grow old and pass away. Sometimes we can lose them before they die, so we need to love, respect, and honor them before that happens.

Lesson # 3.  Children are a blessing and they grow up way too fast.

Lesson # 4.  All the important things, like love, respect, honesty, common decency, and being a law abiding citizen, we need to teach our children before they grow up. The ten commandments are a good start. 

Lesson # 5. Sometimes we are lucky enough to find that special someone…someone that our very soul knows is the right one to spend the rest of our life with…to grow old with.

Lesson # 6.  Sometimes God has other plans. So we need to remember to tell our loved one everyday how much they mean to us…not just on holidays.

Lesson # 7. Sometimes GOD does things or turns our lives in directions that we can not understand with our mortal minds.

Lesson # 8  FAITH IN GOD will bring us through all these rough spots…It may be a long journey. It may seem to be all up hill. It may HURT us more than anything has ever hurt us before, but it is then that we need to hold tightly to our FAITH, and we will eventually make it through.

Lesson # 9  GOD IS GOOD.

Lesson # 10  GOD IS GOOD.

Yes I know….

Lesson 9 and 10 are exactly alike.

You see, I  learned these two lessons as a child,

and it keeps coming back to me….

 over and over again.

GOD IS GOOD.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.