The Forgotten Draft of 2009

I put a Blogger app ( where I write in my blog) on my phone, so i can get to my blog faster. Looking through my DRAFTS that I had not published, I came across the one below. Wyatt was born in June 2008, so from what I see here, this was written around Valentine's Day 2009, when Wyatt was only 8 months old, and only 3 years after losing Danny. I just never published it. 

THE DRAFT:

Here is a picture of Wyatt getting a french-fry! Not a tooth in his head, but like his grandpa Danny, he gums it! lol

A little later, he picked the cash receipt up off the table…So, I asked him to “hand it to grandma”…and was SO surprised when he politely turned around and handed me the receipt! He actually understood!

He is sitting up good in a high chair now . He is 25 inches tall ….and weighs over 17 pounds….and though you can’t tell it by the pictures, he has sky blue eyes.

Can you tell that I love him?

My daughter and her fiancée gave me a bouquet of pink baby roses mixed with other flowers on Valentine’s day…and Wyatt even ‘signed’ the card that had ‘To Grandma’ on the front of it, that he gave me!

After working 11 hours on Valentines' Day, my son surprised me by having a box of Whitman's Chocolates sitting on the kitchen table for me when I got home! He had gotten Kelvin to take him to the drugstore up town to buy them, bless his

These are the kind that Danny always bought me in our latter years of marriage.

It was then that I broke down and cried….

I was thinking that Danny would be so proud of our children.

After putting it off for as long as I could…for my feet are like lead when it comes to going there…I finally got up the nerve to go up to Danny’s gravesite to put flowers on it.

I always look down at his name and softly whisper ; “ I love you Danny Noggle.” and then when I get no answer…

I end up by yelling out; “I love you Danny Noggle” It’s as if I could just yell loud enough… he would hear me and answer…

Like he use to.

I know it’s crazy…I know it…but I do it anyway…Even though each time I go, I tell myself that I won’t.

So…I finally went to his grave…and put a dozen red roses in the vase there on his marker.

Now, Danny hated to cut grass where rose bushes grew…because he always managed to get cut by the thorns and would come home just a fussing.

I hope he doesn’t mind me putting those roses there…

Knowing how he felt about roses, it is the first time that I have ever put roses on his grave.

But to me…

A rose means l-o-v-e and God knows I love him…and always will.

It gets so hard; being here on this earth without him. It is not a day goes by, that I don’t think of him…not a night that I don’t tell him ‘goodnight’ and ‘I love you Boo’ and then eventually fall asleep…only to dream of him.

I think he has claimed his own little brain cell in my mind, because he is a permanent fixture there…

It’s okay though…

He was already a permanent fixture in my heart….

And had been for nearly all my life.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.