The Last Day of May

             My back yard: 4/19/2011

I have always wished I had a back deck to sit out on in the evenings!

If I am going to keep a journal, then I sure as heck need to be writing more often in it! I am mad at me. So many, many days have gone by ( nearly a month!)  and they are now lost, all because I was just too lazy to write it down.

Back in the old days of AOL JOURNALS, there were so many of us writing that it was hard to keep up with each other. Tonight I went over to check on some of my fellow bloggers and some of them are not even there anymore.

There was one lady who’s journal was about her sister having Alzheimer's ; “WATCHING MY SISTER DISAPPEAR” …The last post she wrote was around two years ago and it was titled; “John’s Turn Now”. It was about how her husband now had the same disease! I sure wish I knew how she was..but there is no email…nothing I can follow up on to find her.

Now most of us have went over to Facebook and we tend to forget our journals. Some of my old AOL JOURNAL friends are now on my Facebook friends list, so at least I can keep up with them. One of the best things Danny ever gave me was the computer for my Christmas present a few years before he passed away. I don’t know what I would have done all those hundreds of nights I couldn’t sleep after he died, if it had not been for my online friends. They were there and they kept me going.

     Wyatt in his rocker: 5/08/2011

  Will on my front porch : 4/29/2011

Wyatt and William are growing so fast…too fast. I often  tell Amanda she needs to enjoy every minute of them being small because before she knows it,  they will be grown and leaving home…  But no one can prepare a mother for that empty nest feeling, it is something one has to learn themselves. Now I know how my mama felt when we all left.

Mama : on Mother’s day, 2011

My mama is doing as okay as possible, but Alzheimer’s is taking her farther and farther away from me…Most times she doesn’t recognize me as her daughter, but will recognize my name and think I am an aid at the nursing home. On days that he goes with me , she seems to  think that Dan (my son) is my husband…It is only when I point at the picture on her wall of Danny that she remembers “Danny Noggle” …and that only lasts for a few moments. This breaks my heart every time…She loved Danny so much.

Dan cut the grass for me last week and I didn’t even have to help!  Wyatt, William and Amanda was here, so we sat outside and watched him. When Dan would get close to my roses and such, Wyatt would start yelling, “STAY AWAY FROM MAW-MAW’S BUSHES!!”  and no…he didn’t hear me saying that either! Pretty smart for a two year old, ( soon to be three) huh??

It was really hot today and is suppose to get hotter. I dread next month’s electric bill because I have had the air on for a while now. Our water/sewage bill doubled this month because of new City Hall rates. Mine was right at $140.00. I don’t know how we low income folks can keep making it what with EVERYTHING going up…groceries, utilities, cable..not to even mention GAS…  But God has still been so good to us here in Greene County. Though we have had storm damage, we have not had the devastation that Missouri has had by the killer tornadoes…

I pray that we never ever have to experience that.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

PATHS OF DESTRUCTION

With my television on yesterday evening and all through the night, I watched in horror as tornado after tornado ripped through Georgia’s sister state, ALABAMA.

It was almost like an evilness had decided that it was going to destroy and kill everything in it’s path. Then, once it started, it couldn’t get enough of the devastation it was causing…

So it kept right on going.

I watched for hours as the tornadoes tore and ripped up Alabama. In the end, it still wouldn’t be satisfied, even with all the destruction it had caused.

So, in the darkness of night, the evilness began it’s deadly trek into the state of Georgia. 

Just like General Sherman, who told Grant that he would,  “make Georgia howl”,  so too did the evilness, as it cut it’s path of destruction from the northern tip to the southern part of our state.

Around 12:30 am, Greene County, Georgia came under a tornado WARNING. Not a watch..but a true WARNING. Which meant that there was rotation on the ground.

AND IT WAS HEADED TOWARD US. 

I prayed and prayed …and prayed some more. Not only for myself and my family…but also for my friends and their families.

For over an hour, we were in the middle of hail, lightning, wild roaring wind and torrential rain…

But no tornado.

I ended up going to bed at 5:15 am this morning and got right back up at 7:00am.

While cooking Dan’s breakfast, I again turned the TV on and my heart ached as I looked at the devastation that lay in Alabama and Georgia. Alabama Gov. Robert Bentley said his state had confirmed 194 deaths. At least 280 people were killed across six states — more than two-thirds of them in Alabama, where large cities bore the half-mile-wide scars the twisters left behind.There were 33 deaths in Mississippi, 33 in Tennessee, 14 in Georgia, five in Virginia and one in Kentucky. Hundreds if not thousands of people were injured — 600 in Tuscaloosa, Alabama alone.

All day at work, for over ten hours, I worried about those I had not heard from since the tornadoes.

This evening I came home and found that one of my  friends from Alabama had commented on Facebook and finally…blessedly,  knew that at least she and her husband were safe.

It was like a dam had burst…I sat there and cried like a baby.

It could be that I am just getting soft in my old age, or it could be the hormone pills I now take, or it could be the fact that I only had one and a half hours sleep this morning before I had to get up and go on in to work.

But what I’d like to think it is…

That, as I have aged, I have finally learned what is most important in life.

Loved ones…. family ….. friends.

And the fact that they are SAFE and still with us.

WE ARE  SO BLESSED.

Thank You God.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

THAT COULD HAVE BEEN US.

Last weekend, after work, I was sitting at the drive through window at Zaxby’s waiting on my order, when out of the side door, a little boy and girl came running out. Right behind them were (what I took to be) their parents. They all were laughing and chattering away as they strode toward their jeep, which also had a boat in tow. The dad popped open the rear jeep hatch and the children climbed in eagerly as their parents, laughing and talking amongst themselves, went on around to the front. As I sat there watching them, it hit me;

This use to be us.

One summer when we went to Myrtle Beach, just as we finally pulled up to our motel, our car battery died! A nice couple saw us having trouble and jumped us off, so we could go get a new one. I remembered how that dead battery didn’t spoil our time, and how we laughed all the way to the store. The rest of the vacation has faded into all the other times we went to Myrtle Beach, disappearing like the little wisps of steam that come up from a hot cup of coffee and quickly fade away.

But our laughter still plays on.

I miss those times. When you have children, you are so busy raising them that you don’t notice how fast the time is moving, do you? One minute, it seems we are bringing them home from the hospital,  the next we are sending them off to school and before we even know it…they are gone from our homes.

Oh, if I could go back and know then what I know now… I would try to hold on to every minute of every single day. I wouldn’t be so worried about what I needed to get done around the house. 

I would take more time to hug my kids and hold them close.

Time goes forward .. it doesn’t come back.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

ONE OF THOSE DAYS

Today I got up early; well, earlier than usual for a work day. As I  walked the pups, I noticed how foggy it was outside and wondered if it would rain.

       

                          DANNY AT EMORY 2005

Later, I came inside, cooked breakfast and afterwards, took a shower. I put my clothes on, and went to my bedroom to get my purse and keys.

I keep most of the sweet stuff and drinks in my bedroom, because my son Dan is a diabetic. When he started raiding the sweets while I was at work and his sugar begin to spike, I had the old doorknob taken off and a new one with a lock put on!

So, this morning, I got my purse, shut and locked my bedroom door,and went into the kitchen. I was going to get my R.C. Cola out of the refrigerator to take to work with me!  Before I got to the refrigerator though, it dawned on me that I didn’t have my keys. I looked everywhere and couldn't find them, Then it hit me...I had left my keys in my bedroom! 

IN MY LOCKED BEDROOM!

I tired using a screwdriver, a butter knife, and even some old keys to no avail! I was just fixing to take the screwdriver and get my hammer and knock the pins out of the hinges, when I thought to go outside and  try to go through the window. I got the old plastic lawn chair and pulled it up to the window. I stepped up on it and was just too short to get to the window. So I got the little plastic table and sat it on the chair. I stepped up on it…and it sank to the bottom of the chair…but I was high enough to at least get the screen to unlock and come off the window and then raise the wooden window up. The only trouble was, I couldn’t get my leg up high enough, nor push myself up high enough to get in the window!

So I called Dan…who was laughing at me! He kept saying, Mama if you hadn’t put that lock on the door, you wouldn’t be having to do this!!! Oh, I wanted to pinch his head off!

Did I mention that by this time it was ALSO RAINING???

Dan finally got through the window and went straight to my desk where I keep my keys and they WERE NOT THERE. So, after I finally go the window put back together and went inside, I set about looking for my keys AGAIN.  

Would you believe they were sitting right up under my purse???? Dan thought it was hilarious, but not me…

I have always said that  my legs are way too short, and today it proved true, because I sure wanted to kick my own butt!

Because, after all that…..

I left my dang R.C. Cola at home.

GOD BELSS YOU ALL.

 

DANNY NOGGLE

THE FOLLOWING IS A REPRINT OF A JOURNAL POST I WROTE ON Friday, February 17, 2006…with pictures added.

WORK DAY  02/17/2006

         Danny Noggle

Feb. 17, 2006- There were so many people at the Bar-B-Que today.  . I  met people that I did not know, that knew Danny. Even people from out of state came in to eat and tell me they knew Danny and are praying for us....It is all so overwhelming.....Danny was a simple man, a country boy, and yet there was a lot more to him.........

             IN OUR EARLY YEARS

I remember very little about the funeral....I remember the two songs that were sung by a local gentleman that sings and plays the piano at weddings and funerals...a man that we know well, a man that had just lost his wife a month before....He played and sang, as always, beautifully....the one hymn that Danny wanted; "I Have a Mansion, Just Over The Hill Top" and the one I chose; "Wind Beneath My Wings"...( because He WAS and STILL IS MY HERO).....

Danny at the gazebo in Greensboro

I remember looking in the church over to my right at all the Ga. State Patrol and the out of town Oconee County Deputy that were honorary pallbearers that were seated  in the little alcove...I remember seeing that Oconee County Deputy break down and cry like a baby......because she was one of "OUR ADOPTED" ....She has stood the pain of being maced and tazered  (so she could feel the same pain she could inflict on criminals)....but I have never seen her cry like she did that Thursday...You see, she loved Danny like a daddy....and me like a mama.

Danny and his nephew Troy the last of 2005.

The Ga. State Patrol were Danny's friends...some he went hunting and fishing with...The preacher of our Church that did the eulogy, was also a fishing buddy....Preachers, from all the other local churches were at the service...some having to stand among the many  that were packed  in the basement....

We had several "adopted " children at the service...Me and Danny could only have 2 children, but our children brought home children from their schools and other various places and somehow or the other, we always ended up "mama" and "pop" to all of them....They all showed back up the day Danny died and came over everyday to offer help, comfort, prayers and love.

Danny was also a father figure to our many nieces and nephews...teaching them how to fish, how to hunt, how to clean what you shoot or catch.....We would gather them up and have Easter Egg hunts, Trick or treat, movies.... they were the kids we could not have and they loved us....Six of the nephews were the pall bearers.

Helping Charity find the eggs.

I heard today about how there was not enough room in the church for all the people that came...that the entire basement was full, and the stairwells, and the Sunday school rooms and the Choir pews.....and there were still people standing outside..in the pouring down freezing rain.....and then there were still people that had went on to the grave yard to wait....

This was left AFTER we took 99% of the flowers home. Every room in my house was full…and the front porch and yards too.

And it really brings home the fact that it doesn't matter how much money you have, it doesn't matter how many diplomas you have, it doesn't matter what brand name clothes you wear, nor how perfect your smile is.........My Danny had $40.00 in his bill folder when he died, and a depleted savings account because of all the drugs he had to take....My Danny never made it past the 6th grade, he had to go to work in the cotton mill, but he was the smartest man I have ever known.....My Danny only wore cheap Rustler Jeans, and Wal-Mart tennis shoes that cost $9.00 a pair..and would wear them completely out before he would get anymore.

My Danny, bless his heart, did not have ANY TEETH because they pulled them before the open heart surgery...I once asked him at the BBQ….." Danny, are you embarrassed to talk and smile at these people with no teeth?"and I will never forget what he replied, "Honey, it is not what is in your mouth, it is what comes out of your mouth ." 

At Wilmington N.C. on the Naval ship.

What really matters is how you treat others......I heard these words over and over again…"DANNY WAS ALWAYS HIMSELF,  DANNY WAS NOT FAKE,  DANNY ALWAYS HAD A SMILE FOR EVERYONE,  DANNY WAS A KIND AND DECENT MAN,  DANNY WAS SO BRAVE AND STRONG; NEVER COMPLAINING, AND WE DID NOT REALIZE HE WAS IN SO MUCH PAIN,  DANNY NEVER MET A STRANGER, DANNY WAS NEVER TOO TIRED OR HURT TOO MUCH TO HELP ANYONE"....AND THE ONE I LIKE THE MOST…"DANNY WAS A SPECIAL PERSON"

ALL THE GOLD IN THE WORLD COULD NOT BUY THE PRIDE  THAT I HAVE TONIGHT IN MY HEART FOR MY DANNY.

He truly knew what LIFE was all about.

            THIS WAS OUR FAMILY

*** Here it is five years to the day Danny died on Jan. 29, 2006 and Today I was at the BBQ again...and every time  I walked by the same drink machines out front (where he started having his last heart attack that day) I could still see him there in my mind.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again..if you still by the grace of GOD have that special someone that you love…TELL THEM what they mean to you…TONIGHT.

Tomorrow may not come.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

Posted by Carlene Noggle at 10:44 PM

I USE TO LOVE SNOW

Okay…I am ready for this snow and ice to disappear! I have places to go, things to do, and … bills to pay!

Back in my younger days, I would have been in my glory with all this white stuff Mother Nature threw at us this week! I use to wait anxiously every winter…wondering if we would get snow and if we did, how much. I couldn’t wait to see the first of the softly falling little flakes hitting the ground! I use to have so much fun building a snowman with Danny and the kids, having snowball fights on Spring Street with my sister-in-laws and their families, and then going home to make snow ice cream!

My most favorite thing to do though, was to climb into the car or truck with Danny and go wandering around the county, just admiring the beauty of the land and trees, and the old barns. To me, Main street in Greensboro always looks like a Christmas card when there is snow on everything …

Ever notice how much nicer things look covered in freshly fallen snow?

When I had Dan, I was 18 years old  and so naive…I thought anytime you wanted a baby, all you had to do was just try and nine months or so down the road, there would be another baby to love. Well…it didn’t happen like that for me. After losing two, and going to fertility specialists, I learned that there was very little chance of me ever carrying a child full term again if I got pregnant. It was a  very long ten years later that I found out I was pregnant… and this time, praise God, it went full term!

My doctor told me he had a way to determine the date of delivery and my baby would be born on January 12, 1982. Well one night, I dreamed that she would be born on Christmas Eve or Dec. 28, of 1981….and was shown in my dream, that the baby would be a healthy little girl! When I told my doctor about my dream on our next visit, he looked at me like I had lost my mind!! Then he just laughed and said, “If you had wanted a little tax deduction, you should have started sooner!” and laughed at his own little joke.

But the joke was on him…she was born on Dec. 28, 1981 and she was a little girl!!! You should have seen his face when I reminded him of my dream the night Amanda was born!!!

And get this…..Had I came in labor on Jan.12, 1982…I wouldn’t have been able to even get to Wilkes County Hospital, because Green County and the surrounding areas were hit with a snow and ice storm similar to the one we have now!

GOD IS SO GOOD!

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.