You know, when Danny died, four years ago this Friday, the one thing that fell on my heart like a ton of bricks, was the fact that we had no grandchildren to “carry on” for him, so to say.
It just tore at my heart that lonely night as I lay there in the darkness of our bedroom…. in our bed….alone for the first time in over 34 years. Though this old house was bursting at it seams that night with family…all here to help pull me through….I truly knew then what it felt like … to be alone.
God bless all the widows and widowers.
2005* Our last trip to the mountains.
Danny and I would have long talks at night in that same bed…imagining our grandchildren….how they would look … how they would act…how we would love them. It would be years later, according to the views of doctors…and specialists….that our hopes for grandchildren would be laid aside…put up…not to be spoken of…not to be mentioned again.
So, when Amanda found out she was pregnant in 2007 , it was a true miracle….proof that doctors do not know everything and that there is a Higher Power that knows more than anyone here on earth…..and I was over the moon with happiness.
Amanda would be so embarrassed each time I would walk up to her tummy and lean down to talk to my grandchild…that little fellow that I had yet to lay eyes on… and trust me….I talked to him everyday….I would tell him… “this is your Mawmaw little man and she loves you sooooo much…this is your Mawmaw talking to you” !
When Wyatt was born in June of 2008…my heart nearly burst … I never knew it could hold so much love for such a tiny little being. Only just shy of five pounds, he stole my whole heart the first time I ever saw him.
We all debated on what Wyatt would call me when he got big enough to actually talk…Would it be Grandma, granny, nanny or big mama…or what? When asked what I wanted him to call me…I would say; ‘ I want him to call me Mawmaw or grandma , but whatever he calls me, I will be honored.’
(Same thing goes for little William)
Well….for the last few weeks…Wyatt has decided to call me Mawmaw…..and has gotten to where if I don’t hear him the first time, he will say very loudly and with conviction… ‘MAWMAW’ !!!
Sometimes I will pretend not to hear him, just to hear him say it again in that sweet little voice….it does my heart so good to hear that baby say it.
Yesterday, out of the blue, Wyatt came up to me looked me straight in the face and called me Grandma…for the first time ever…when I looked at him questionably … he grinned and looked back at me with those crystal blue eyes and said…‘ MAWMAW ’ … and laughed and laughed …like he had just told me the funniest joke on earth !
I believe that little ‘yet–to-be-born’ baby was actually listening to this old crazy woman all those months ago….and I proudly say….
I AM MAWMAW !
GOD BLESS YOU ALL.