Monday, November 14, 2011

DAYS OF MY LIFE

My computer died....again...and this time, unfortunately, it is gone for good.

My son doesn't understand what the big deal is. He tells me constantly how he could care less about computers. What he doesn't realize is that my computer was not just an electronic device. It was a life line to the outside world, a place I could go to find out how my cyber friends are. More than that, it was part of my daily ritual to come in from work, grab something to eat and drink and then get on line.

At my age, I do not like change. For days, I found myself sitting at my desk just staring at a blank monitor...trying again and again to get it to start up....Sort of like the doctor on the TV show Greys Anatomy. You know...The one who can't stand the thought of his patient dying on him..so he keeps pumping and pumping the patient's heart...hoping against hope, to hear that first faint heart beat....but like the doctor, I got nothing...just a flat line and the steady beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

Time of death.....Nov. 06, 2011.

So my daughter has loaned me her laptop, until I can afford to get another PC. God bless her heart, I think she knew I was on the verge of a melt down. lol


In other news...I went to see my mama this past Wednesday. Alzheimer's is taking it's toll on her. When I am talking to her, I  catch myself looking deeply into her eyes..as if I am trying to find her in there somewhere. Sometimes it actually seems like there is a veil there..as if she is hiding behind it ...in a place where I can not go. It hurts me soooooooooo bad to see her this way. She is my mama...and she doesn't even recognize me 99 percent of the time. It is all I can do to choke back the tears that are constantly trying to escape while I am with her. I don't want her to see me crying, because she will not understand and it will upset her. The nursing home called Friday, saying they were going to up the amount of  a vitamin and calorie supplement she is getting to three times a day. She is not eating enough. I had noticed when she went to supper this past Wednesday, that she just sat and looked at her food.

On happier news, Wyatt and will are growing like weeds. They are constantly amazing me with the things that they say and do and how quick they are in all ways. I rode to Ingles the other night with Amanda so I could sit in the car with them while she went in to get a few things. While sitting there, Wyatt said, "Maw-Maw, will you come home with me?" I said, Wyatt, I can't. I have to go to my house." "But Maw-Maw" he said, "My chickens miss you!" Now you have to understand, his mama and daddy have about a dozen chickens that they helped hatch and are now raising.  I choked back my laughter and asked, "what did you say Wyatt?"  He said, "Maw-Maw, I said my chickens miss you. They are crying for you! You need to come home with me so they will quit crying!" 

You know what I think?

To have someone want you to go home with them soooooooo bad that they say that their chickens are crying for you....Well you know right then and there that you are LOVED beyond all measure....

God bless their little hearts...

GOD IS SO GOOD.

If God never gives me another blessing in my life...

He has already given me TWO of the greatest blessings in the world.


GOD BLESS YOU ALL.