Saturday, May 8, 2010

ANGELS AMONG US

       sunclouds

When home computers became widely available, the stores would send out sales flyers advertising  the newest  models, and I wanted one so bad. I would look at each and every sales paper much like a child would look at the “Sears Wish Book” at Christmas!

Danny caught me looking at them one day and evidently even heard me sighing…like I always did, whenever I came to my senses and stopped my looking and dreaming. When he asked me what I was looking at, I was too embarrassed to tell him..after all, I didn’t even know how to turn a dag-blame computer on, much less get any use out of it…and even the cheapest computer was way out of our reach.

Danny was always full of surprises. For instance, if you didn’t know Danny like I did…you would have thought he was a very simple country man…but oh..he was so much more.

Danny was one of the smartest men I have ever known…what he may have lacked in formal education, he more than made up for in good old common sense….something a lot of people have very little of now days.

He could fix anything. He did plumbing, electrical, mechanical, carpentry…you name it and he could do it. Complicated things that had to be put together… he never even read the instructions…he never had toMy daddy always said that there were people with book sense and then there were people with common sense and between the two… he would choose the common sense person every time…My daddy loved Danny just as if he was his own son.

Like I said, Danny was full of surprises…Like the year he did without lunch at his job , because he saved  his lunch money to buy me a Micro Wave for Christmas….

Or the time he did odd jobs while I was at work…

To buy me that computer I had dreamed of for Christmas…

I remember ripping the wrapping paper off  the huge box that mysteriously appeared under the tree that Christmas morning…and  I remember begging Danny to take it back before I even opened the box…

You see, I knew he had to have paid A LOT for it, way more than we could afford and I felt so guilty…and so very dumb…After all, I didn’t even know how to turn the thing on, much less do anything with it.

I can still hear him telling me… “Carlene…just take the thing out of the box, let me get John to set it up for you and then you just play with it…I know you Carlene…you won’t stop until you learn it.” 

As always, he was right…Because the more I “played with it”,  the more I liked it, and the more I liked it, the more I learned.

Then I found a place called AOL JOURNALS….and I dove right in head first. See, from the time I could form sentences and be able to write them on paper,  I have loved to write my thoughts down. As a child, when I had enough money saved, I would go to the old dime store in town and buy me a little diary…the kind with the padded fake leather cover and the strap with the little gold lock and key on front. I don’t know how many of those little diaries that I filled up as a child, but what I do know is that I have wished a many a time that I hadn’t been so dumb as to throw them all away when  I thought I was too old for such things!

So anyway…when I found AOL JOURNALS on line, I was in heaven! I began to write…and write …and write.

I wrote about my childhood out on HORSESHOE BEND, and I also wrote about mine and Danny’s everyday life.  A few people began to read my journal…and then a few more….and before I knew it, I began to meet some wonderful folks.

This went on for a couple of years and then on Jan. 29, 2006…..my world stopped turning.

That Sunday morning started out  like every other Sunday morning in our lives…Except that before the day was over, Danny had a massive heart attack and I became a widow. I was no longer an “us” and I was alone for the first time since I was sixteen.

When Danny died…I kid you not…there were weeks after his death, where I did not sleep at all at night …I couldn’t…Hey, it took me months to even take my daytime clothes off ( yes  took baths!) and put a night gown on again and be able to lay down… on top of the cover on our bed.

Looking back, I sometimes think that I was waiting …Waiting on Danny to walk back in that front  door of ours…Crazy I know...but then when you have lost the one you love, well….grief does strange things to you…trust me, I know.

So I stayed awake…

Back then;  any night you could have came by and found me sitting up at my computer…and the same folks that I had met by way of my journal…well, they were there with me…

At a time when I needed them the most, they helped me  keep what little bit of sanity I had left…and just like my  family, they helped me make it through the roughest part of my life.

God is so good to us…

I truly believe He puts certain people in our paths to help us when we are at our lowest…because He knows what we need… long before we even realize we are going to need it.

God has continued to bless me with wonderful friends.

Like the song goes…

Oh, I believe there are angels among us
Sent down to us from somewhere up above
They come to you and me in our
darkest hours
To show us how to live
To teach us how to give
To guide us with a light of love                                                                          When life dealt troubled times and had me down on my knees
There's always been someone there to come along and comfort me.

THERE ARE ANGELS ON EARTH…

     &

You all know who you are

I hope and pray our Heavenly Father blesses you all in return.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

10 comments:

WINDOWLAD said...

O, indeed, really inspiring!

Have a good day!

Lisa said...

Ohhhhhhh Carlene!!!!!!! God has blessed us both with our husbands... my Rob is just like your Danny... can fix anything... never asks for things for himself... always doing things for me!!! I know you must have so many wonderful memories of him... and yes, so many times that AOL friends have gotten me through!!! God is so good to bring us all together!!! Now I'm going to get a kleenex to blow my nose and stop sniffling... LOL
Lisa in KY

Suzi Que said...

This was beautiful, Carlene! I know how scared I was of the first computer I ever had.
I'm so glad that Danny (I never met him(a deep regret there) but I like him!) loved you so much and prepared this path for you, by buying that computer, so that you wouldn't have to walk it alone. He did his best to look after you and I think he still is. I loved reading this story!
Much love!
Sue

Kathy said...

Oh Carlene, once again, you have moved me with your honesty and your love. Thank you.

This is just one shining example of why you are loved by your AOL-J friends and why they were (and are) here for you when you needed them.

I love the story of your microwave and your computer. Danny was a wonderful husband and friend. I'm glad you have such happy memories.

God Bless you Carlene.

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

I so agree with you. I love the connection of the journals and like you love writing down my daily life too. The wonderful people I've met through journals and now blogs have made my life richer and fuller for sure. I hope your Saturday is a great one and that you have a wonderful Mothers Day!

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

I so agree with you. I love the connection of the journals and like you love writing down my daily life too. The wonderful people I've met through journals and now blogs have made my life richer and fuller for sure. I hope your Saturday is a great one and that you have a wonderful Mothers Day!

madcobug said...

Good entry Carlene, It brought tears to my eyes. May God bless you on Mother's Day. May he also bless your Mother. Lovya, Helen

Sayit-baldys said...

GREAT ENTRY CARLENE AND TOUCHING.
I HAVE EXPERIENCED THE HELP OF ANGELS. I BELIEVE.

SO MANY MYSTERIES IN THIS LIFE.
DREAMS.
DREAMS NOT REALISTIC.
THINGS WE WOULD NEVER DO.

WE ONLY KNOW OUR OWN DREAMS. DO THEY INFLUENCE US ? THEY DO ME TO A CERTAIN EXTENT. ENCOURAGE SPEAKING OUT, THEN WISHING HAD NOT UNTIL ASSURED NO BAD FEELINGS.

LORD JESUS ALLOWS US TO BE FOOLISH, THEN FORGIVES WHEN WE ASK FOR FORGIVNESS IN SINCERETY. sam

Indigo said...

Beautiful Carlene! Loved hearing how your first computer came to be. I'm happy to have befriended you. (Hugs)Indigo

Gerry said...

What beautiful sentiments you have expressed here. I am sure those who became your friends back then will really appreciate it. I came on AOL and read your journal after Danny was gone but I was struck by what a great love this had been for what could only have been a wonderful man who inspired it. You are a good person, Carlene, and the world of blogging is the richer for having you in it!