When I was little, we finally got a TV in the house and the one thing my siblings always wanted to watch on Saturdays were the scary movies…like The Werewolf , Dracula, or Frankenstein. I didn’t like those movies, in fact I hated them. I had much rather be watching Captain Kangaroo, Mighty Mouse or the Mickey Mouse Club…. but back then, TV was still such a rarity and so very new to us, that I couldn’t not watch!
I admit though, most of the time, my little head was up under a pillow….but I could still hear.
I use to have nightmares about Frankenstein…You remember him, right? Back then, horror movies were like the toys of that age and time…They let you use your imagination. You didn’t have to see all the blood and gore like they show today to be justifiably scared ….it was what you didn’t see that terrified you.
Anyway, in my dreams it as always night, with a full moon and Frankenstein would be chasing me. I would be running down the dirt road in front of our old house…running down Horseshoe Bend….or rather trying to run down it…because in my dream, my legs would be as heavy as lead, and try as I might, I could not get anywhere…In the dreams, it always felt like my feet were stuck in the Georgia mud. I would be constantly looking back over my shoulder and he would be gaining on me. Scary stuff…especially for a little 5 or 6 year old kid. I hated having those dreams and would always wake mama up with my crying.
This went on for what seems like years…One night, I went to sleep and the same dream popped up…He was chasing me again…and I had grown tired of running…and he was gaining on me and I was so fed up with all this….
So I stopped ... I stopped running and I turned around and waited on him to get there.
Oh, I was so scared and can remember that dream like it was yesterday….I can still feel my heart beating wildly… about to burst out of my little chest….but dang it, I was fed up with running….and running … and running…and all I knew was that..
Me and my little brave self wasn’t going to run no more…
He would just have to kill me.
Funny thing was, when he got close up to me, so close that I looked him in his face…
Now that I am grown , I occasionally find myself still running away, much the same way I did as a little child in those dreams. Oh, not from monsters per say, but from some fear or worry or loss.
So, I have to remind myself to stop the running…to turn around and face what I am scared of.
It wasn’t easy back then and it isn’t now, but to ever find peace within ourselves….
We have to stop running, and turn around to face the booger-bears sometimes.
In order to make them disappear…
So we can get on with our lives.
GOD BLESS YOU ALL.