Tuesday, January 26, 2010

I AM MAWMAW

You know, when Danny died, four years ago this Friday, the one thing that fell on my heart like a ton of bricks, was the fact that we had no grandchildren to “carry on” for him, so to say.

It just tore at my heart that lonely night as I lay there in the darkness of our bedroom…. in our bed….alone for the first time in over 34 years. Though this old house was bursting at it seams that night with family…all here to help pull me through….I truly knew then what it felt like … to be alone.

        God bless all the widows and widowers.

                                dannyandmemtsa

                               2005* Our last trip to the mountains.

Danny and I would have long talks at night in that same bedimagining our grandchildren….how they would look … how they would acthow we would love them. It would be years later, according to the views of doctors…and specialists….that our hopes for grandchildren would be laid aside…put up…not to be spoken of…not to be mentioned again.

So, when Amanda found out she was pregnant in 2007 , it was a true miracle….proof that doctors do not know everything and that there is a Higher Power that knows more than anyone here on earth…..and I was over the moon with happiness.

Amanda would be so embarrassed each time I would walk up to her tummy and lean down to talk to my grandchild…that little fellow that I had yet to lay eyes on… and trust me….I talked to him everyday….I would tell him… “this is your Mawmaw little man and she loves you sooooo much…this is your Mawmaw talking to you” !

When Wyatt was born in June of 2008…my heart nearly burst … I never knew it could hold so much love for such a tiny little being. Only just shy of five pounds, he stole my whole heart the first time I ever saw him.

            0620081404

 

We all debated on what Wyatt would call me when he got big enough to actually talk…Would it be Grandma, granny, nanny or big mamaor what?  When asked what I wanted him to call me…I would say;  ‘ I want him to call me Mawmaw or grandma , but whatever he calls me, I will be honored.’

            (Same thing goes for little William)

              0106001049

 

Well….for the last few weeks…Wyatt has decided to call me Mawmaw…..and has gotten to where if I don’t hear him the first time, he will say very loudly and with conviction… ‘MAWMAW’ !!!

Sometimes I will pretend not to hear him, just to hear him say it again in that sweet little voice….it does my heart so good to hear that baby say it.

Yesterday, out of the blue, Wyatt came up to me looked me straight in the face and called me Grandmafor the first time ever…when I looked at him questionably … he grinned and looked back at me with those crystal blue eyes and said…MAWMAW ’  … and laughed and laughed …like he had just told me the funniest joke on earth !

                     0608091741

You know…

I believe that little ‘yet–to-be-born’ baby was actually listening to this old crazy woman all those months ago….and I proudly say….

I AM MAWMAW !

                            1218091327_0001

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

10 comments:

Gerry said...

It is really heart warming to hear you express your love for your grandchildren. It really broke my heart when my daughter-in-law retreated and moved away after the divorce so I could never be close to my first two. I felt they suffered too from being deprived of another person close to them who would love them, but I had to stop grieving over it so as not to do possible harm to them, and look forward to what opportunity might lie in the future to convey to them they were loved. You are lucky to have a daughter who appreciates your love for her children as she is lucky to have you as a grandma to help convince her children it is a world full of love.

madcobug said...

Great entry Carlene. It did my heart good to read this entry. You truly are Mawmaw. lovya, Helen

Adirondackcountrygal said...

Oh Carlene, that is such a wonderful entry. I remember when your Danny died. What a sad sad day that was. Your grandboys are so precious! I am so glad you have someone to call you Mawmaw now!

Donna said...

What a great entry! And what a smart little grandson you have.

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

It is so grand to have those grandchildren. I can appreciate how you feel for sure. What a joy that little little guy must be shouting MawMaw and laughing! I love to hear them laugh. One of my son's has a little boy that I call my 'Sunshine Boy'. He has always had the greatest laugh and sometimes they'd call me just so I could hear him. How that would make my day.

Kath said...

One look in there eyes and you're never the same,
There a part of you now and that part has a name.
That part is your heart with a bond that won't sever,
Gods precious gifts and you'll love them forever
They will make you laugh there so funny till you cry.
And that bond it will stay till the oceans run dry.
Theres nothing quite like being a Grandparent it's true.
Carlene I'm so happy that God sent to you,
Two precious little Grandsons Wyatt and William to love.
No theres nothing more powerful than God up above.

I am sure Carlene that Wyatt would have been listening to you talk to him each day when Amanda carried him.Enjoy every minute of your beautiful Grandchildren.MawMaw you are !!!Take Care God Bless Kath xx

Arlene (AJ) said...

Carlene, just loved reading your site dear....what a loving MawMaw you are, your precious ones couldn't have been blessed with a more wonderful MawMaw who loves them.

Rose said...

God was one smart God sending two cutie's to warm your heart!! xo

Sheila said...

I have an award for you on my blog, Sheila

http://southerncomfort-sheila.blogspot.com/

Lisa said...

What a heartwarming story and I am so happy you have your grandchildren in your life. I know Danny is smiling & proud as can be. I bet you are the best Mawmaw in the world too!
xxx
Lisa