Monday, March 30, 2009

A WORLD GONE MAD

               carlene1030c

Sometimes…when I watch the news,  I wonder if the whole world has gone slap stone cold crazy.

In the last three days…..

On Friday, March 27  in Dallas, Texas, a mother got high on painkillers and wine, then left her 7-month-old son  in his car seat overnight. When she remembered him, the next morning, he is found dead. (She also had two toddlers in the car…but she had remembered to take them in the house with her. ) This mother had already previously been charged with  DUI, hit and run, and multiple public intoxications. 

Saturday, March 28, a man in Mass. stabbed his 17-year-old sister to death, decapitated his 5-year-old sister and then headed toward his 9-year-old sister before officers shot and killed him. It happened at the 5 year olds birthday party.

Now today, Sunday March 29, some man goes to a nursing home in North Carolina and opens fire… going room to room, randomly picking out, shooting and killing seven elderly residents and also the nurse who cared for them.

Most of the ones he killed were in their 80’s…and I believe one was in their 90’s. Those poor elderly residents and the health care folks who worked there (that survived) will probably never be the same.

He was stopped when he was shot and wounded…. by the same 25 year old police officer that he had just shot and wounded.

As it stands now, if the one who shot and killed 8 defenseless people lives,

We the tax payers will have to supply him with:

 free food,

free health care,

free room and board.

       and

a free lawyer.

This makes my blood boil….how about you?

Lord, I hope the news is better tomorrow.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

Friday, March 27, 2009

I THINK I DID IT

            OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

               Broad Street in my town.

Thanks to some very sweet online friends, I think I have updated my blog…. Truly I thank yall so  much…I wouldn’t know how to do any of this stuff without yall.

I use Live Writer and it is not importing my new blog layout.  I have already refreshed it three times..but nothing happens. So I am sort of writing blind as far as how this will look.

                         OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

                                     Main street in my Town.

I got off work , cooked supper and have just sat down here…All I cooked was homemade spaghetti and Sloppy Joes….but I am tired. My feet are swollen tonight for some reason…they haven’t been doing that lately. Otherwise, I am okay. lol

It has rained here all day. We have strong storms heading our way tomorrow; due to a cold front trying to come in.…I hope and pray all will be okay here. I hate severe thunderstorms..an old fashioned thunderstorm is okay…just don’t let it be a tornado.

                  0327091459

You can’t see the rain, but you can tell the street is wet. This was taken from the drive up window at the BBQ. The Dogwoods, and Bradford Pear trees are budding out. Some of the azaleas  have already bloomed too. I love Springtime…everything looks so beautiful.

I have been reading the book; THE SHACK. So far I like it…It is about a man,who after having a great sadness befall him in life, finds God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit in a shack.  Sound strange?

Hey  in my 55 years I have found out that life is stranger than fiction…so yeah…I think you could find God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit in a shack…

Matter of fact; I did…though just not in the same way that this man does.

                          FAITHgodblessyou

I love God.  He has been so good to all of us….and He isn’t mean to us like we all are to each other……We are his children and He loves us no matter what…and better yet…HE FORGIVES US…even when we can’t even forgive ourselves.

I really do try…and somewhere in this book I read that God wants you to forgive…but He also says that if they don’t change their ways of hurting others. you don’t have to have a relationship with the one you forgave.

When I pray, I always try to ask God to help me be ‘more like HIM and less like ME’…because I know I have many faults….

 Yep, God is Good to us….

Maybe it’s time we returned the favor….huh?

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

GOING ON’S

                   springsprung

I have been noticing some of your journals…uh, I mean ‘blogs’ and I am wondering how in the world do yall get those pretty layouts??? I have been wanting to change mine and don’t know how…so I have settled for this one.

I went by and got Dorris and we rode over to see our mama yesterday. She was very excited to see us, as it had been over a week since we were last there. Both Dorris and I had a cold and didn’t want to spread it to mama or her friends.I had called a few days beforehand and made her an appointment to get her hair cut. It looked real nice. She had a pretty pant suit on and was sitting in her chair in her room when we arrived. First thing she said was, “Well, have the dead came to life?” lol lol

                  0325091455

                    My mama;83 years old… isn’t she pretty?

She was in pretty good mental shape this trip, even remembering some things she had seemed to have forgotten the last time I was there. She did forget that I now had a grandchild, so I had to help her a bit with that…I seem to have to do that every time that I see her. His picture is on her bulletin board that I put up on her wall ,along with Danny's’, but she forgets to look there I guess…and even if she does, she forgets very fast.

As always, I took her a goody bag with cookies and candy. I also brought her an RC Cola….which she loved! Dorris took her a new magazine to read and some daffodil flowers. I have got to buy her some more shoes. She has to have the kind that adjust, so I get them through a catalog for the elderly and handicapped. Because of varicose ulcers, she has huge elastic bandages on both legs and they go all the way down to her feet…making it impossible to find shoes in a store that fit. Somehow, or the other, she has lost the mates to some of her shoes!

I am so grateful that she is in a home where the nurses and aids all love her and treat her with kindness and love. Some have known her all their lives, and think of her as a grandmother. It eases my mind to know that she is cared for and I no longer have to worry about her taking the correct medicine, getting burned on her stove, setting the house on fire, getting out and getting lost, etc. as when she lived alone. Me and Danny were going up there to her house everyday, (many ,many times a day )to check on her, but I still worried. Unfortunately, I also have to work to make a living and now that Danny is gone…well, her being where she is loved and cared for 24/7 is a blessing.

                      0321091423

                            At ‘Aunt’  Charity’s

It started raining last night and rained most of the day today. My arm that was broken and now has a metal brace and screws in it, hurt like the dickens…so I guess it is going to be my new weather barometer! lol I went in to work today with a headache. I had the blasted thing all day long. It has finally eased up, but now my back is hurting! lol Can’t win for losing sometimes! I’m okay, it’s just that I’m getting old. ( I hope I sleep better tonight than I did last night…I woke up at 4:00am after having had a nightmare.) ok…I’m through whining now!

                  0325090959

Wyatt is getting to be so energized! Since he has started crawling (and standing while holding on to things), he doesn’t think his little butt is made for sitting anymore! REALLY! I try to hold him in my lap like I use to and he is like a little wiggle worm in hot ashes trying to squirm his way down to the floor! He is not satisfied until he gets down!

He has also began to turn around and stand up when you put him in his high chair! You can not turn your back on him or the next time you look, he is up and standing looking over the back of it!

                  0323091922

That is unless he falls asleep like he did here, after getting his tummy full! God Bless his wittle bitty heart…Grandma loves that baby sooooooooooo much!

Thank YOU Heavenly Father for all my many blessings.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

A DEATH

                     0418080835

    My azalea-taken 4/12/08  It has buds on it now.

We had a death in our family. Danny’s Uncle passed away last Saturday. He died on his sister’s birthday. Our ‘Big Mama’ is torn up about losing her son. He was in his 70’s and she is in her 90’s…

Age doesn’t matter though, when it comes to losing your child. Just ask any mother…they will tell you that no matter how old they are…they are still and will always be…your babies.

This Uncle was Danny’s mama’s brother…and that’s all I ever heard her call him‘brother’. Danny’s mama is very sick…I believe some of it is from stress and maybe some of it is the viral infection going around here too…She wasn’t able to make it to the funeral yesterday.

             0322091106

Wyatt got to ride a horsey Sunday when we went to the flea-market! He kept trying to pet it! lol He loved this and didn’t want to get off. It was a real bargain too…50 cents and there were three horses !

              0322091107 

He also got to ride a worm! lol And he loved it too!

              0324091513

We went to Sam’s Club today and just like all guys, he got tired of shopping! lol I had me a crock pot full of pinto beans done and waiting on us when we got home. I fried some salmon patties and had some potato salad and fresh cut corn with it. So good!

              0324092017a

Tonight he stayed with me and Dan for a little while… he almost stood up by his self on this toy!

              0324092017 

                  He is squatting down here.

              0319091442a

Practicing egg hunting, over at the other grandma’s house!’

Just in case any of yall take meds for heart arrhythmias, there has been a recall of one lot of medicine for it. The pills were made too big,. so they could be very dangerous. Here is the link where you can find out more important information:

http://www.fda.gov/oc/po/firmrecalls/watson03_09.html

Please go check and see if your medicine is on there…Also let everyone that you know about it.

We have had some nice weather here lately…but I believe we are about to get some rain and thunderstorms in here….

We had sunny skies today along with 70’s  temps!

God is good.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

BYE-BYE BOOGER-BEAR

        faithmirac

A few days ago, I posted an entry about a booger-bear that had me terrified. I couldn’t say at the time what the booger-bear’s name was, since family and friends read this journal and my kids didn’t know.

But I can tell you now…

That booger-bear’s name was breast cancer.

I had a mammogram. Two weeks later, I got a letter telling me they had found something in my left breast.

Tuesday of last week I had to go back and take new mammograms….

While there, they took me into a room with an X-ray viewer. On the viewer, they had my previous mammogram done in 2004 and right beside it, they had my last mammogram. 

             faithdontworry

Now, I know that is a long time between tests, but after I had my mammogram in 2004, Danny began to have a lot of heart attacks and health problems and we were also going weekly to his arthritis clinic in Atlanta…

So I let the mammograms go….

Then Danny died in 2006 and I let everything go.

Anyway…

I could plainly see the spot in my left breast in the x-rays. I guessed it to be about the size of a pencil eraser on the x-ray…I don’t know how big it was in reality…but it was big enough to scare the hell out of this old country girl.

They took me to the other side of the room and did 3-4 more mammograms…These were different from normal ones, with each one hurting worse than the last…

No, I’m  not going to lie or candy coat it…

They hurt.

They had to use extra force to magnify the spot. (My left breast is still bruised.)

I was a big baby….I cried when it was over.

And then I cried for two more days, whenever I thought about it.

                FAITHhighestpowerbl

Until finally I did what I should have done in the first place…I gave it to God.

I GAVE IT TO GOD.

As soon as I did, that sick nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach left. (Oh, I was still worried, but it wasn’t the same as before.)

Today, I got two calls…one from the State Health Dept. and one from the hospital where the tests were done. They both were telling me that the mammogram showed no mass….

Both said they wanted to tell me beforehand, so I wouldn’t have to wait and worry until I received the formal  letter two weeks from now…

Thank God for caring people.

They also told me that  I would not have to have another one until 2010!

OH, HAPPY DAY!

I gave that booger-bear to God

and

GOD WON.

Thank you Heavenly Father.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

A DOSE OF MAMA’S MEDICINE

        stpatty3

I kept wondering why we sold so much stew and meat this week. We are usually slow in the first few months of the year.

It wasn’t until this evening that I was told that it is St. Patrick’s Day weekend! I had forgotten about it.

Guess everyone around here is having BBQ and stew instead of corned  beef and cabbage. We sold so many gallons of stew that we ran out of gallon jars…and we had a lot of them this morning when I got there.

You know….I work in the public and I get to see a lot of people. After a while , when you work in the public…you get to noticing certain patterns forming.

The one that had caught my attention here lately is the fact that some young people, ones in their twenties say….do not show much respect to their elders.

Now, if you have read my journal much, then you know that I was raised poor as dirt, but that didn’t mean that my mama didn’t  teach me manners or let me know how to act in public.

Why, if she ever even heard that I disrespected any elders

Well, I would have  gotten my head knocked slap off my shoulders.

          0313091730

                          Wyatt and Milo

When I was coming up…you knew not to sass , nor talk back to someone older than yourself.

You knew to keep your lip buttoned ; unless you needed  to say ‘yes mam’ , ‘no mam’ or ‘thank you mam’.

You certainly did not talk down to, nor make little nasty remarks toward someone old enough to be your mama.

It is called  R-E-S-P-E-C-T ….

And I am so glad my mama taught me the word and the meaning.

Don’t get me wrong…I am not saying all young people act this way…I see a lot of them who know their manners and know to respect others.

But I swear…

Sometimes I wish I could just give one of these little smarty pants something their parents neglected to give them…

A  dose  of  my  mama’s  medicine!

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

Friday, March 13, 2009

THE ‘BOOGER BEAR’

Been a while since I last came here.

Please say a  prayer for me. 

There are some not so good things going on in my life.

The ‘booger-bear’ is after me…and I refuse to let him catch me.

The Lord is my shepherd…

He will lead me beside the still waters.

             0308091218a 3/08/09

In the meantime, I have finally managed to push it all…

Every last iota of worry

Into the little room that I keep in my mind for just such dark and terrifying things…

And I have locked the door….

With a bolt lock.

So I am back.

         0308092121 3/08/09

The warm and sunny days that we have been having has me anxious to get my hands dirty in the Georgia dirt. I want to plant my tomatoes! In reality, it will be a few more weeks before I can dig the first hole, but I can always enjoy reading about and looking at them now.

         0308092123b 3/08/09

I am sad. My computer that Danny bought me all those years ago for Christmas finally died. It had been on it’s last legs and I kept putting off having to get another one. Finally last Monday, as it was taking it’s last breath, I bit the bullet and got a new one… Before I lost all my pictures and stuff.

         0308092123a 3/08/09

This one is not a fancy high priced one, but it has a lot more memory than the other one…and it is so quick. Of course the other one was over seven years old…which I think is like a hundred in computer life. I am going to box the one Danny gave me up and put it in storage….I just can’t part with it. I know it may be silly, but I cried as the light went out on the monitor for the last time. Danny was so proud of his gift to me that Christmas…

I can still see his smile.

         0311091835 3/11/09

Wyatt is crawling at lightning speed! Yesterday, he pulled himself up at my front door and then let go … He was standing there on his very own for a fraction of a second!

          0311091837 3/11/09

I went to see my mama last Sunday. She was in good shape physically and I stayed for a good while talking to her and cleaning her little chest of drawer out …She keeps every little thing, so I have to throw out all the trash she has collected during the week and resort her clothes and little trinkets. Someone gave her talcum powder (something the nursing home frowns on, because she could get it on the floor and slip up in it and fall ) and she had it all in her drawer!

It was on everythinga white powdery mess.                 

          03110918363/11/09

She doesn’t remember things very long, so I am constantly repeating  information. She will ask a question and after I answer her, two minute later she is asking the same question over again. 

It is so hard (emotionally)  to see your mama like that…but then again…

        03110913263/11/09

 

I try to think of how many times she must have did the very same  for all six of us children

Answering the same questions over and over…

and cleaning up our many messes.

SORT OF PUTS THINGS IN PERSPECTIVE FOR ME.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

A SPIRIT LIFTING

            summerbymissie2

             from Missie’s Magical creations

The sun is out today and according to my computer, it is 54 degrees here at 2:00pm…Blue skies and white clouds…a beautiful day.

I have not did much of anything so far today. I have cleaned the house, ate something and walked the pups, but nothing else. I still have my PJ’s on, as a matter of fact..yes I walked the pups in my PJ’s…( my PJ’s are a t-shirt and sweat pants!)

             - pictures from my camera 134

               Wyatt & Hallie (my Chihuahua)

                Both standing at my coffee table

Soon I will have to get up from here and go pay my water/gas/sewage bill at City Hall, then go to the post office to mail more bills and finally; on the grocery store! I am putting it off…as you can see; and that was one of my ‘New Year Hopefuls’ ( I try not to call them resolutions, ‘cause then I always fail to keep them)

I told myself this year that I would try to keep things organized and try not to procrastinate so muchWell now, we see how that is going don’t we? lol

          - pictures from my camera 051

        Danny’s mama and Wyatt- 3 days old

I love finding new recipes…I will read a cookbook like a new best selling novel! I have a bookshelf full of just cookbooks. One of the things I love best about having my computer and access to the internet is being able to go from place to place searching for recipes.

Sometimes I luck up and find them via your blogs…Like yesterday, when  I found the one below by first reading Mosie’s blog and following her link to Hillbilly Housewife… which led me to Pioneer Woman…where I found the recipe.

Since it is on a public blog, I hope she doesn’t mind me using it here.

     HOLDAY BACON APPETIZERS

club crackers

thin sliced bacon-cut each piece in half

grated parmesan cheese

Lay crackers face up on cookie sheet. Scoop 1 tsp. of parmesan cheese onto each cracker. Completely wrap and cover the whole cracker with a bacon piece as tightly as possible without losing any of the cheese.

Next place the bacon wrapped crackers on a baking sheet that has a rack on it.

Place in 250* oven for about 2 hours.

I fully intend on trying it for my next get together…It only has 3 ingredients and anything wrapped in bacon is usually a hit in my book! (I love baked bacon wrapped mushrooms too….ummm)

                  - pictures from my camera 058

Wyatt ( 5 days old) with a gift from a very special friend.

As I was reading the comments I received on my last entry, I was very surprised and highly honored to find out that I had received the Inspiration Award from Lynne!

It could not have came at a better time…You made my day Lynne and raised my broken spirit back up. God bless you my friend.

                  AwardInspirationAward

Now who do I nominate for this award???

Without hesitation, I nominate all the wonderful friends and family who follow my blog and all the friends of whose blogs I follow…

So to all to gather here ;

Feel free to take this award and post it on your blog.

For without you… my friends and my family, I would not and could not have gone on.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

Monday, March 2, 2009

WHITE AND FLUFFY STUFF

              - pictures from my camera 179

               The old cotton mill right above my house.

There are certain days, certain things, certain thoughts that bring back memories…

Memories, that although they may be of happy times

(But also because they are of happy times),

make me realize what I have lost.

I have this journal to write down my thoughts, my feelings, and my day to day life and I would be remiss if I didn’t write down yesterday’s.

But to make it understandable, I must go back…

Back to the days on Horseshoe Bend  …

My grandmother had four children…My mama, my two aunts ( now deceased) and my Uncle Tommy (now deceased) ….He being the only son, my grandma doted on him and he lived with her all his life. Sadly, he died at a young age, (somewhere in his thirties), of a brain tumor.

Now that I am grown, I realize that my grandma never fully got over losing him.

                 - pictures from my camera 177

what use to be the old mill pond in front of my house

After he died,being alone, my granny came to live with us out on Horseshoe Bend in that little four room house. We were crowded before she came in that little house….practically sleeping on top of each other. But back then, in those days, family took in family…no matter what…at least mine did.

Poor mama…she already had us six kids, and now she had her mama too. It is never easy to live with family, and as poor as we were, and as depressed as Granny was, I am sure it wasn’t easy at all on mama, to say the least.

It wasn’t easy on us kids either. I was only around five or six…but I remember…

                - pictures from my camera 164

                    on the side of my house

Granny slept next to the old potbellied wood stove on a ‘fold-up bed’. She also had a platform rocker that she sat in, crocheting doilies during the day.

Granny’s hands were never still…she was either crocheting or doing crossword puzzles, or writing little odds and ends, bits of memories, down on her Blue Horse writing tablet.

I felt, even at only 5 or 6 years old, in my little heart, that it was my job to keep Granny’s mind off Uncle Tommy. I loved her and I hated seeing her cry. She did pretty good at holding up…

               Until it rained.

            - pictures from my camera 159

             Yesterday- can you see the little birds?

When I was a little thing on Horseshoe Bend, I hated to see it rain…because I knew that granny would start sobbing softly. The harder the rain got…the harder the sobs got. We could hear her whispering throughout the sobbing…“it’s raining on my on my boy.”

No amount of pleading or trying to reason with her by my mama , nor me hugging her, or trying to talk to her, would stop the flow of tears…

They only ceased when the rain did.

I remember on the day of Danny’s funeral, a storm came up…

This was no ordinary storm….On Feb. 02, 2006, there were huge booms of thunder and long streaks of lightning…with tornado like winds and hail bouncing off the roof as I was saying my final goodbye to Danny at the funeral home, before he was taken by hearse to our church for the services.

             0301091732

As I stood on the church steps, waiting to go in, huge pelts of rain and hard pellets of hail began falling as the lightning flashed and the wind howled…I remember someone came up with an umbrella and held it over my head…and the thought that was going over and over like a broken record in my mind was… “Lord, please don’t let me be like Granny and cry every time it rains…please don’t let me dwell on such things.”

The first time it rained after Danny had been buried…I sat and I watched it out my window…then I eased out the door  to my porch and I sat sat out there…and I waited for it to come…It being the sobbing that my Granny did.

It didn’t happen…God had heard my prayer, and I was able to actually enjoy the mild rain that was pitter-patting on my tin roof.

But  then again, I do not believe that my Danny lies beneath that mound of grass in Greensboro Cemetery…

      I believe Danny is with God.

           0301091513

      my car, right after it started snowing

Yesterday, it snowed here in our little town.

Now, we down south, here in Georgia very rarely get snow.and when we do, it is a treat usually…Because we know, unlike our northern neighbors, it is probably the only snowfall for a year or so. The town closes, the schools close, and the kids and adults alike, have a ball playing in it.

Yesterday’s snow was beautiful. A good 4 – 5 inches of soft and fluffy white stuff, not the usual wet and heavy kind we usually get.

Anybody that knows me, knows that I have always loved the snow. While everyone else may be saying that they hope it passes on by…

I was always the girl singing… ‘LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW’

So, there I sat, at my desk yesterday for most of the morning, alternately  watching the weather channel, our local channel, and watching the radar screens…

Waiting for the snow.

I could feel that something was wrong within me…I found I was not excitedly waiting for it, but that the closer the blue blob on the radar screen got to our town …the angrier I got.

It was very disturbing to me and I could not put my finger on it. It was as if something had taken control over me and had killed off the girl who had actually prayed for snow before.

                0301091627

Wyatt, squatting down on my picnic table. I only got to see him a minute before they had to go back home.

When I saw that it was almost upon us, I got up and decided to go to the grocery store about a mile or two away. I needed to get the dry cat food that I had put off getting Saturday night when I got off work.

Before I was even half way to the store,  it started snowing big huge flakes, and it seemed like the ground was white in an instant. My windshield was layered in it and all the windows and the back windshield were completely covered before I got to the store.

Once there, I hurriedly ran in, got the dang cat food, paid for it and left to get back into my car. Once I cranked the car, I found that I could not see how to back up…But after rolling my windows down, and taking my time, I was able to back up and I eventually made it back home, fussing the whole time.

Dan was with me and after hearing me fuss most of the way home, he said, “ Mama, what in the world is wrong with you…you usually love it when it snows…”

It is then that I started crying…and it made me so mad, because I sounded like Grannyand I had sworn I wouldn’t do that…not in front of  my kids anyway.

After I got in the house and settled down a bit, it hit me….Down here, it only snows once…maybe twice a year if we are lucky…sometimes not at all. So every time that it had…we …my little family, had made it an extra holiday of sorts.

Danny would always be the first one out the door to build a snowman with the kids and throw snowballs. Not only with our kids, but usually with all the kids from the neighborhood, because all kids loved Danny.

He would take us in our old truck over the snow covered streets and we would end up at his mama’s house…where he would make sure to see her…and start the snowball fight all over again in her front yard…

We made snow ice cream…

               We were a family.

I realized that I was crying because I miss that so much….and yet oddly enough, it is also because I can see him so vividly in my mind, that it hurts so bad….I miss seeing him in the snow….and I was angry because he wasn’t able to be here playing and having a good time….

          carlenemissu

I know this will not make sense to some, but it is the way I felt yesterday…and after I got over my crying…

I was okay…

         Sort of.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.