Tuesday, May 26, 2009

LAYING HEAVY ON THE HEART

Wyatt, at 11 months old, finally has his first tooth!!! And to beat all, it is in the top, not in the bottom as they usually are. I was beginning to think we were going to have to get him a set of dentures! lol

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By the way;

If anyone is searching for SAM, his new bog can be found at:

http://sayit-baldys.blogspot.com/ Go by and read his posts...he will wlecome all!

Saturday night after work, Dan and I went with Amanda, Kelvin and Wyatt to Bonners…a restaurant that is way out in the country. They opened for business the year me and Danny got married, which was 1971. You know the food and the service has to be good, for it to have been in business for over 37 years and be so far back in the woods! The place was packed by the time we got there, around 8:30.

The inside of Bonners is very rustic like a cabin…it has long wooden tables and various animals mounted on the walls. …but what got Wyatt’s attention were the deer! He could not sit still and kept pointing at them until his daddy or either Uncle Dan would take him to see one up close. He was shaking he was so excited! It didn't take him long to start saying “DEER!” either!

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Yesterday, we had a cookout here at my house. It rained some, but Kelvin managed to get the pork chops done in between times. Amanda fixed potato salad and deviled eggs, while I made Wyatt’s favorite; green beans and potatoes! That child could eat his weight in green beans!

Anybody see the John and Kate Plus Eight show last night? It was so sad…and by the end I was crying right along with Kate. Life is hard and we all trip up and fall from time to time...we have all made bad choices….nobody is perfect and anyone who says that they have the perfect marriage or that they are the perfect parents are lying … so yes, I feel for both John and Kate….but mostly for the little kids.

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Wyatt in his granddaddy's Danny’s boat. ( Thanks Troy.)

For the last week or so, I have been feeling sort of depressed…I don’t know how to explain it…except to say that losing Danny has been laying so heavy on my heart here lately…

I miss him so much…I miss his laugh, and the way he would call me “boo”, the way his hand felt when he held mine…I wish he was here…I wish he could see his little grandson…I wish so much that I could see him…

I would give my life just to be able to hug him and tell him all the things things that I could have said, or should have said to him…more often….Like how he was always my hero…how I always felt so safe when he was with me…like how I always wished that I could have been more like him and less like me….

Why is it that we always think of all the things we could have or should have said to those we love….

When it is too late?

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

10 comments:

barb said...

yes, i watched the tv program. was sad---and i know, being achild of divorce. i thought kate was often mean to john, she be littled him so much. i told my husband a year ago that i bet they would have trouble in their marriage. sounds like a great meal you all had--do the beans and potatoes cook together?? barb

Lisa said...

did you see the car Jon got out of? A 2 seater. Emotionally, he is so over Kate and the kids...he wants that party time he never had in his 20's and he wants that money but he probably half hates Kate. She was down right AWFUL to him on TV, no less. Unless he finds forgiveness and grows a BRAIN real fast and realizes what he may lose, this show is over and so is this marriage.
Wyatt's pics are SO cute...Danny would be proud that Wyatt loves deer. MANY MANY people take life for granted and are so selfish and will never see how lucky they are....and some are mean or evil and only out for themselves.....you are a rare lady because i just know as you go thru your day to day life, you feel things and see moments that so meaningful and you DO appreciate them. GOOD FOR YOU. I wish i could bring Danny back to you...even if for only a few moments. I am so sorry for your loss and how much you miss him. You are and were so loved.

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

I agree none of us are perfect. Our lives, our marriages, our kids and ourselves...we all have much to learn and life does give us many opportunities for that. Your little Wyatt is so cute. It's hard to believe he's almost a year old now. Hope your Wednesday is a good one. 'On Ya'-ma

Sayit-baldys said...

CARLENE, THANKS FOR THE HELP. I NOW HAVE ANOTHER LATEST BLOG ADDRESS WHICH IS: SAYIT-BALDYS
AN "S" IS ADDED TO BALDY.
HAD TO MAKE A CHANGE TO USE IT.

PERHAPS AND HOPEFULLY SOME THAT ARE READING YOUR COMMENTS WILL PUT ME IN THEIR FAVORITES. sam

Gerry said...

I enjoyed hearing about your outing to that country cafe and I smiled at how Wyatt was reacting. Don't you believe that Danny might have gone right along with. Maybe that is why you were missing him again so badly. But you are doing a good thing, living out more years and being a good grandma to Wyatt. He will be grateful for every year you live I am sure. Gerry

Missie said...

OMG! I can't believe Wyatt is going to be a year old soon! Where did the time go?

Have a good one!

Ora said...

Hi Carlene....that Wyatt is so cute...and you can tell he surely is loved....LOL...and I know your heart hurts so much for want of Danny...they say time heals all...but I for one don't believe that...sometimes missing family who has gone before hurts so bad...the tears just flow...but we hold dear our memories...hope your day is better and better...and you are going to be a granny again...oh joy joy...LOLOL..hugs to ya...Ora

Indigo said...

Wyatt is growing up so quickly. He would of been the apple of Danny's eye. Thank you for reminding me to never forget what I have. I truly do believe Danny smiles down on your family. (Hugs)Indigo

Sandra said...

Well done to Wyatt and his first tooth! My Kerry was the same and didn`t get her first one till she was 10 1/2 mths. My SIL threatened to by her a set of dentures if she didn`t hurry up...lol! :o0

Love and Hugs

Sandra xxxx

Terri said...

*Tears*

"Why is it that we always think of all the things we could have or should have said to those we love….

When it is too late? "

Oh Carlene...I could have written that myself...I ask myself that ALL the time...there are so many things I wish I would have said to my Grandma and my Aunt Judy..and wish I would have visited with them more often...I seen them alot but if I had known then what I know now about life being so short I would have spent much more time with them... :(

I know you miss your Danny terribly... wish I could give you a big hug!

Wyatt is such a cutie pie...

Bonners sounds like my kinda place...cozy cabin feeling...

I watched Jon & Kate and I too was in tears as I watched...I don't know who cheated on who or what is going on in their marriage but I agree we all have made mistakes in our life and no marriage or person is perfect...I do hope they can work things out cause I just love that family/show...the kids are adorable....I know at times I have felt sorry for Jon for the way Kate has treated him...but when Kate was crying I couldn't help but feel sorry for the whole family...it's just so sad....

Hugs
Terri