Thursday, November 27, 2008

37 YEARS AGO TODAY

                  family16

                        early seventies

Danny and I made an out of state trip to get married. Me being eleven months older; I was eighteen and ‘legal’  in our home state of Georgia, but Danny, being only seventeen, wasn’t. So we had to go all the way to Aiken, S.C. …where we were married in the courthouse there.

I think back now and I know that we were way too young to get married…but you couldn’t have told us that back then….Oh no….Our love was stronger than the both of us…and even back then, I swear to you,  I always  had the feeling that we must hurry….

We must hurry and start our lives together.

Danny must have felt the same way, because he went against his parent’s wishes to marry me. Oh, I fully understand their reasoning now…

They wanted him to be older…for us to be more prepared financially. Now that I am older, if I had a son of seventeen wanting too get married, I would have heart failure…So yeah…I know now where they were coming from…But you know what?…Neither of us would even pretend to listen to them back then…

So, we fought tooth and nail to get our way…and we did.

We didn’t even have a car. My ( then) brother-in-law took us to get married. My mama and daddy and my two sisters went with us. My parents never went anywhere far from home, so for them to actually go with us, proved how much Mama and daddy loved Danny…and they were determined for him to be their son-in-law! In all the years we were married they never found fault with him…and came to love him as a son.

I remember that Danny had on a black coat, white shirt, tie and black dress pants. I had on a paisley skirt outfit with penny loafers. Danny was so nervous that he had to repeat one of the vows…and almost dropped the ring as we stood in front of that lady judge. I regret so much that no one took pictures…I have nothing left to look back on… only my memories of that day.

I won’t sit here and say that we had a perfect marriage..far from it. We had our ups and downs and problems just like any other young couple…and gosh; we were poor as church mice……

But we did have an abundance of love. No matter what; I knew that Danny Noggle loved me. I knew that he was there to protect, to love, and to hold me up when needed….and he knew the same of me.

We were not only husband and wife…..

We were best friends…..

They say that before you die;  that you see your life flash before your eyes…

I see my life every time I think of Danny….

I see him and I as little children….I see him flying down the sidewalk on his bike aiming right at me….I see him hitting that baseball that knocked me out on the school yard and waking up to see him staring me in the face as he tells the teacher, “she ought not to have walked in front of the ball!” ( I was on the other end of the school yard…Danny could have been a major league player the way he could hit those balls.)

During our years together as man and wife; I see all the days and nights, the weekends, the vacations, the birthdays, the times we cried in each other’s arms, the times we rejoiced at our children’s births, I see us making our very own family traditions…The holidays…

All these things…

All these years

Flash before my eyes….

Every time I think of him.

I think of him everyday…

I have found that….

It wasn’t “til death do we part”

For I haven’t parted from him…..

I still love you Danny Noggle…

I always will.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING MY FRIENDS.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Marie-Antoinette-Award

        marieantonette

I was deeply honored and also greatly surprised to find out that I was awarded the Marie-Antoinette-award;

The award for Real People - Real Blogs by Lynn .

My heartfelt ‘ thank-you’  goes out to her for thinking of me and choosing my blog.

This is an award for those that write about real things, not necessarily on every entry, but those who share information about themselves or where they live, what is happening in their area or in the world.

This award is for passing on to other people.

The Rules:
1. Please put the logo in your blog
2. Place a link from the person, from whom you received the award
3. Nominate at least 7 or more
4. Put the links of those on your blog
5. Leave a message on their blog to let them know

I know of too many other wonderful people here that have great blogs about their real lives, to be able to narrow it down to only seven..Just read my blog list and you will see what I mean….So I am going to stray from the fold and say that all the blogs that I read deserves this award!

So; here you go…my friends….

This award is for all of you.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

THERE ARE ANGELS AMONG US

        angel

Have you ever heard that song by Alabama?  It goes something like this:

Oh I believe there are angels among us.
Sent down to us from somewhere up above.
They come to you and me in our darkest hours.
To show us how to live, to teach us how to give.
To guide us with a light of love.

            102008_105142_2MA22739906-0002

I can testify to this. When Danny died, and I saw no reason what so ever, to live in a world without him…There were angels then…that came to me and held me up, giving me comfort and love…helping me make my way through that terrible darkness that only the death of a loved one brings……Forcing me to see and believe that there was still light and color and love and wonder still here in this old world for me.

True miracles happen everyday…We just sometimes need to be made aware of them.                                           

ALCC~PeacefulAngel~AngelMA12484971-0004

Today started out being a bad day for me. My emotions are all over the place what with my anniversary coming up and also the holidays…and then add to it the fact that I haven’t worked in a month and well….the bills don’t stop…You know how it can be  sometimes….So I just went back to bed and lay there…not sleeping, not doing anything really…just looking at the picture of Danny that I keep next to my bed.

It was sometime later that Dan said, “mama you have company”…and in came Charity, my niece. She had Wyatt with her because she was babysitting for Amanda. She came straight into my bedroom and began to change him…and was talking to me. Soon as she got done, we walked into the kitchen…..and there on my table and everywhere were bags upon bags of groceries…in the chairs, on the floor, on the counters….everywhere!         

         dannyandchat

        (1970’s)Charity with Danny behind her

This sweetheart and her husband had went and bought all this for me and Dan! While she had me in the bedroom with Wyatt ( yeah she knew that where Wyatt was; there I would be also !) her husband and three kids had sneaked all the groceries into the house.

What really melted my heart was, when I tried to protest, she looked me straight in the eye and said; “Aunt ‘Lene call it pay back for child support.” When I looked dumbfounded, she said… “remember all the times you babysitted us, fed us and took us on vacation with yall?”  “Well, this is pay back.”

amandancharity

      My  Charity & my Amanda

Yeah, I cried….

I’m still crying…

The song I mentioned before goes on to say:

When life held troubled times, and had me down on my knees.
There’s always been someone there, to come along and comfort me.

So, call me naive, call me what you want…but I firmly believe that;

There are angels.

Some of them may not be wearing a  golden halo or have big white feathery wings…

But there are angels….

Oh yes…

There are angels.

GOD BLESS YOU MY LITTLE CHARITY

              &

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

AN OUTSIDE JOB

         DailyThanks-LMG1222

First, if you have the time…please go around to Donnas' blog and offer her some comforting words. She lost her little Chihuahua ; ‘Laci’ to heart failure and her heart is broken. Those of us who are fortunate enough to know the love of a little fur baby, know that they are far more than just petsthey are our babies….and they love us with a love like none other. Please go and leave a note for Donna.

As most of you know, My 36 year old son Dan, lives with me, and because of his mental handicap, he always will. He got up this morning, took an old brush attached to a long metal pole that Danny had rigged up before he died and got the leaves off both sheds.

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              DAN WITH WYATT

He then got them off the old tin roof of our home, and ended up raking my front yard for me! He was so excited when he finished up by sweeping the porch off and the sidewalk, that he ran inside begging me to come see what he did.

Believe me, There were ‘boo cools’ of leaves…We have two pecan trees and a giant oak tree right here at the house, so there were tons of leaves everywhere. I had went to bed last night wondering how on earth would I get those leaves up, cause I have no money to pay someone to do it for me…and though I always do it every year, I sure couldn’t this year; not with my arm and hand out of commission.

Bless his heart, Dan said; “Mama, I use to watch Daddy do it, so I figured  I could do it too.”  You see, Dan very seldom does anything outside…instead, he tends to hole up in the house….So for him to go outside and do this for me…Well, it was a big thing for him. He did a very good job and I am so proud of him!

YES, GOD IS GOOD.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

DOCTOR

       ThanksgivingFallingLeavesMissy

I WENT BACK TO THE SURGEON TODAY.

He took the big cast (that went from just right below my underarm all the way to my hand) off and replaced it with a shorter one. This one goes from just below my elbow to my hand….It lighter in weight and is also bright neon pink!

I almost fainted when I saw my arm . It looks awful. I had no idea how bad it was going to look…as I wasn’t awake when they did it. They took the big stitches out and replaced them with butterfly stitches before replacing the cast. They also did more x-rays. I nearly cried as I tried to turn my hand like they wanted it….it hurt terribly bad. I had started to take a couple of pain pills before I went to the appointment, but didn’t….Lord, I wish I had.

It was cold here today, and now tonight it is freezing!

I just turned my TV and found out that HOUSE is on…I almost missed it again. :-(

I watched Jeff Dunham’s CHRISTMAS SPECIAL on the comedy channel the other night. He is a comedian / ventriloquist…and I love his acts. Especially Walter the old man dummy . The dead terrorist dummy act is funny too.

Not long till THANKSGIVING now is it? THANKSGIVING DAY is also mine and Danny’s wedding Anniversary this year. We were married on Nov. 27, 1971, so our anniversary would come around on THANKSGIVING ever so often…this being one of the years.

I miss him so much. He was my best friend. No matter what; he was always there for me…always in my corner….so to speak….I miss that. You may think I am crazy, but I talk to him daily and since I have been in so much pain…I cry and tell him all my problems nightly. If he were here, he would put his arm around me….

Oh, how much I would love to feel him hug me close to him or just hold my hand when I am hurting physically and in spirit…

It would mean more than all the gold in this world to me.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

THROUGH THE FOG

          angelDsDesignsNothinginlife

I walked the pups a bit ago.

It is so pretty outside…leaves blowing every which a way…trees and such showing all their fall colors…the sun shining so brightly that it makes you squint. I am so thankful that the sultry heat of the summer has gone by now,  because this cast is hot. I have not done much of anything today. I have been a little sick to my stomach and am still in my night gown… which looks like a dress that we as teenagers, use to call a ‘shift’….remember those? It is made of real thick material and right below my knees so that I can wear it outside too…which saves me from trying to get something over my cast.

I wish I could say I am doing lots better, but I can't. The surgeon said my arm would hurt for a few weeks….but someone telling you that and you having to actually feel the pain are two different things. It wouldn’t be so bad if it would just let up ever so often….

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           Wyatt; ready to go ‘bye-bye’

While outside, as I looked about me; I found many things to be thankful for…like:

Trees that are beautiful with their red and golden leaves.

A clear blue sky with white poofy clouds floating lazily across.

Able legs that can walk me all around and about my house and yard.

Ears that can hear the birds chirping…and my pups playfully nipping and barking…

Eyes that are able to see all these wonders of God.

Though I may be down for the count right now…

I still know that God is good

Sometimes we may not be able to see all His  goodness through the fog of pain

Or the heartache from loss of a loved one..

But if we just make ourselves be still and quiet…

For just a little bit…

We will see His glory.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

REASONS

        1113081940

Have you ever did something, and yet be wondering the whole while you are doing it; why you were doing it?

Have you ever done that and then later, the answer comes to you so clearly why you did it?

Let me show you an example of what I am talking about….

Back before Wyatt was even thought about..back when the specialist all said Amanda had a snowball’s chance in you-know-where of getting pregnant….I was shopping at a Dollar Tree store…You know..one of those stores where everything in it is a dollar or less?

Well, I came down the isle and reached over into a basket and picked up a dollar pregnancy test….and put it in my shopping cart. I paid for all I got and once in my car, I starting wondering what in the world did I need a pregnancy test for? Amanda couldn’t get pregnant ( and was also on birth control pills to help with her monthly’s)

And here I was ; over 50 years old with nothing in my stomach, but my stomach…all the rest being removed over 10 years earlier…so I knew darn well I couldn’t use the thing! BUT YET, I HAD BOUGHT IT….

Well we all know that the dollar pregnancy test was used and it told us that my precious grandbaby Wyatt was coming.  A COINCIDENCE? I don’t think so….

My friends…

The other day I went grocery shopping…and as I walked into the grocery store…the first thing I saw was a bag of Hershey Kisses wrapped in Christmas foil….and without thinking; I picked that bag up and put it in my buggy. Just as soon as I placed it in there, I immediately reached back in and took it out.

Oh, I wanted that candy soooooo bad….You see,  since the surgery my appetite is off and I am not eating…. But like a little kid…. I wanted that candy. But I did not have the money to spend on candy…we had to have food.

I have not worked since Oct. 25th…and since the BBQ does not hold a check in the hole; that was also my last paycheck. So…no;  I didn’t buy the candy…and I felt so bad…but no one even knew.

Today…I hear a knock on my door, I open it,  and look down and see a box. Now, I knew Lori, my online friend had sent it, because she had alerted me that she was sending Wyatt a gift. I was so excited…Her daughter Tracy had embroidered an adorable bib for Wyatt with his name and birth date on it…a keepsake for sure.  Among other things…Lori had also sent several little cute winter outfits along. There was so many wonderful gifts in that box….even food!

And amid it all was… a huge bag of HERSHEY KISSESWRAPPED IN  CHRISTMAS FOIL.  It was then that I broke down and cried like a baby.

When she emailed me later, she told me how while she was shopping, she had ended up on the candy isle….searching for what she didn’t know….but how once she saw the HERSHEY KISSES they seem to ‘ jump out at her ’….and she bought them…and mailed them to me….

COINCIDENCE? I DON’T THINK SO…THERE IS A REASON FOR EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS….

I choose to believe that there is a Higher Power than we mere mortals…One Who knows that sometimes..

It can be the little things that we may think are insignificant,

That will make a world of difference in a person’s life.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

Monday, November 10, 2008

TIME

        DsFALLPUNKIN

I wonder  how long it will take me to get use to having only one good hand and arm to use? I can not put any pressure on my left hand; not the slightest bit. I tried to rub some hand lotion on my right hand with my bad hand…and I could not even do that. I finally ended up squirting the lotion on my leg and rubbing my good hand over it….the same way I do when I need to bathe my good arm when I am in the shower.

It is scaring the heck out of me that I can not put any weight on my hand or fingers. It makes me worry that I will never get to use it again. I believe my arm is shrinking because my cast is real lose at the top part above my elbow. Unfortunately where the cast covers the top part of my hand, it is way too tight and hurts like crazy…probably because my hand and fingers are still swollen.

Things I took for granted have become almost impossible to do now. Like cutting an onion…I can’t even put enough pressure on the onion with my bad hand to hold it still on the cutting board to peel it and chop the ends off….. :-(

Or popping open a dang can of biscuits! Oh, I can pop them open…I just can’t twist the dang can open far enough so I can get them out. Having no electric can opener, I can not open metal cans either.

                  GARFIE1

I have gotten real good at getting the dog leashes hooked up to the pup’s collars. Bless their little hearts…they must somehow know that something is wrong with me, because they stand very still and actually line up one by one while I go from one to the other, hooking the clip through their small collar rings with just my one hand! Before I was hurt, they would all go wild; running here and there with me trying to catch them! lol Now they wait their turn very patiently .

Amanda came over and drove me to the grocery store. She also went and picked Dorris up, so she could go with us. I didn’t realize that I was so low on food and ended up  spending more money than I should have….

See, I am scared, because I don’t know when I will be able to work again.  I nearly cried when I  saw the total. I didn’t splurge either…I only got the basics and I used cents off coupons too. Lord, a bag of dried beans that use to be 49 cents was $1.68. I tell you, groceries seem to go up here every week. Bless his little heart, Wyatt has a cold.  He was sniffling and running a small temp. but still had a sweet smile for his grandma.

Thank yall sooooo much for sticking with me and praying for me….I pray the good Lord will bless yall in a special way.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

A “REAL” JOB

       DsDesignsJustoneofthosedays

I have not had an easy day. For some reason my arm and the place on my lower spine (where I fell ) have been unusually painful today…. And I am sooooo worried about the fact that I have no paycheck coming in while I am not working….Okay, I will go ahead and admit it….  I have  been having a hell of a pity party… since about 2:00 am this morning when the pain in my arm woke me up.

My mind tells me to shut up the whining…it tells me that I am lucky to be livinglucky that it is only my arm, head and spine that hurts….that I could be brain injured and comatose right now or dead….My mind tells me that there are others in this world that are far worse off than I….

And my mind is right….I know it is……

Thinking I would cheer myself up…I read a story just now on AOL about a waitress getting a $10,000.00 tip! Now don’t you think that has to be the happiest story? And it was….until I went and read one of the comments that followed. Now 99% of the comments were positive, but there was this one person…(I will call her “F” ) who said that when she dined out that she left a 10% tip; unless the service was not what she expected…then she would leave a quarter and a note explaining why.

Well that sort of got under my skin, but then another person…( let’s call her  “C” ) came back saying that she was a waitress, had been for years  and sometimes it’s not the waitress/waiter's fault…It could be the cooking…over crowded conditions, any numerous things which can affect your service … which is true.

You know what really really ticked me off??? It  was when ’F ‘ came back and said….“well don’t blame the customers because you didn’t further your education and better yourself maybe you should get a real job and leave the waitressing to the teenagers. 

Now anybody that knows me, knows that I have been a waitress nearly all my life…starting out when I was around 14…. working 7 days a week, 12 hours a day…giving my check to my daddy to help him and mama… and only keeping my tips for myself. Sunday before last, before I crippled myself… I was still waitressing…working 11 hour days, three days a week.

Up until I read ‘F’ s comment, I thought I had a real job….It certainly felt like it when my feet would be too swollen to wear my shoes once I took them off at home…. It also felt like it when I have gotten burned too many times to count…To me; waitressing has got to be one of the hardest jobs there is and the least respected.

This has got me wondering…….Do most people think like ‘F’ ??? I mean yeah, I had dreams…I wanted to be a teacher, or a nurse….but sometimes things happen to get in the way of dreams 

Please answer me this…. Because I make my living by waitressing, does that make me less of a real person? I may not have furthered my education and bettered myself….but I was always taught that no matter what job you hold… to do it to the best of your abilityand to treat others with the respect and courtesy that you want to be treated.

And I have always tried real hard to do what I was taught.

You know…

Come to think of it….

I think I did  further my education…and better myself….

At least better than ‘F’ and those like her.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

IT’S OVER

I had my surgery Monday. I was suppose to come home the same day, but I was not breathing right for them. Seems I would breathe once and then skip a breath. They asked me if I had sleep apnea….and no… I had not. I think it was all the meds had me really knocked out! lol

They kept me on oxygen and thank goodness they were giving me morphine through a pump that I controlled ,along with pain pills every three hours. I kept the pump button in my hand even while I slept….I would wake up in pain and and just stare at the little button until it would light up signaling it was time for a dose. Thank God that this hospital believed in giving you enough pain medicine.

 There was a lot of pain afterwards….a lot of pain.  Like a bad throbbing toothache deep in the bones.

 1105082324They took four x-rays of my arm after the surgery…and here ( all the dark part in my arm) you can see the metal plate, wires and screws that are holding my two arm bones to my wrist….they are a lot longer than I expected.Feels so heavy .

1105082252

My fingers are swollen so it is hard to do the finger exercises that I am suppose to do three times a day. My thumb especially refuses to move. I got to leave St.Mary’s Hospital Tuesday evening around 4:00pm and had to go from there to Regional Hospital to get the staples that were put in on the Sunday that I fell, out of the back of my head. I was so glad when I was finally able to get home….The pain pills are beginning to help a little better , but they also knock me out.

Wyatt has just about mastered holding his own bottle!!! He has also ‘found’ his feet and he is trying so hard to get a hold of them! lol You ought to see him! He kept me, Amanda and his uncle Dan laughing at his antics yesterday! Just look at this little booger!

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He keeps lifting his little feet up! lol

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His Uncle Dan showed him the 2 liter bottle of orange drink and you should have seen his big blue eyes light up!!!! And by gosh he figured out how to use those little feet to get it up to his mouth without any help from us!!!!!lol

I was so happy to see him when I got home!

1102081917

Here he is with his Mommy!

Well, I am getting tired and need to lay down for a bit….Just wanted to let yall know I am still kicking…

Thank yall so much for your prayers….They mean the world to me.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

SUNDAY MORNING

            1023080754

This picture was taken Thursday morning , Oct.23….the Thursday before the Sunday that I fell. I was out walking my pups early that morning before I had to go to work and the sun rising over the old mill was so beautiful.

It never ceases to amaze me how God puts beauty right in front of us everyday….whether in His beautiful portraits or in something as simple as a baby’s laugh….or a hug from a loved one…If you just be still and let yourself…you can feel the beauty flowing through to your soul….and it is wonderful.

I want to thank you all so much for your moral support these last few days. You will never know how much it means to me…When I have been in pain …when I have felt like no one here in my life cares…I come to your comments…and I read them over and over….and it soothes the raw edges of my pain…and takes away this feeling of lonely helplessness .

My sister went home Friday. She has been such a good help to me…not only in helping with the housework and cooking…but also just being here to offer some sisterly love and care.

I have a very hard time getting dressed and undressed….using the bathroom…etc. that Dan can not help me with….Even trying to get the cover up over me at night is a struggle now.  I have to lay on my right side and at an angle; so as not to lay on the knot and staples in the back of my head, to stay off my bruised spine , and to make sure that my left (broken) arm is on top…

So I can not just reach over and grab the cover with my right hand….Thank God I got use to being cold when I was little and lived on Horseshoe Bend….it makes it easier now since my bedroom has no heat.

You know…Danny told me long ago that, “It is when you are in good shape that everybody is there for you … You only find out who really cares about you when you are down and out…” This is so true…some of the people here in my little town; who I thought were my friends; have not so much as called, texted nor even emailed me and it makes ne feel so sad…   

Danny may have only had a seventh grade education, but he was so much smarter than most people I know…

And I find myself longing for him now.

I am worn out and will stop now…My surgery is for 12:00 tomorrow, so if yall will keep me in your prayers…

I will be grateful.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.